


Kara

by Mrs_Strife



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Ending, Angst, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Family, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Psychological Trauma, Romance, Slow Burn, Soldiers, War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:40:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 23
Words: 68,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25391758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mrs_Strife/pseuds/Mrs_Strife
Summary: The destruction of Tenebrae was the first straw.Betrayal of love and friendship, in life and death, was the last.As Niflheim's flames burned his mother's body to ash, Ravus Nox Fleuret made a pact with his closest friend, Kara Highwind. To regain their freedom, avenge their families' deaths, and protect Lunafreya from her uncertain fate, they swore to fight side by side and climb the ranks of the Imperial army."Pick a god and pray. Our story ends here."
Relationships: Lunafreya Nox Fleuret/Noctis Lucis Caelum, Ravus Nox Fleuret/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 14





	1. The Fall

**Author's Note:**

> Hello my dudes and welcome to my new FFXV story! 
> 
> She's been in the works for a while and I've changed it a thousand times, but I think it's finally ready to meet the big, bad world and probably a relatively niche audience. 
> 
> Enjoy! :)

_Ash fluttered down from the sky like flakes of snow and sucked the color out of the forest that was once abundant with life. Charred trees creaked and toppled, sending a cloud of sparkling embers into the heavens. The horizon glowed orange with the threat of endless destruction._

_Scuffed leather boots crushed a charred branch as they came to a stop. Everywhere, familiar landmarks burned to the ground, eaten away by the hellish power that was Niflheim. The desaturation of the earth turned blue eyes gray and silver tears streamed beneath them. She'd come too late._

* * *

"C'mon, just give up already!"

"You think I would surrender so easily?" Kara's father stared hard at the chessboard, leaning forward with his elbows pressed into his knees and propping his sharp chin up with a palm. His pale blue eyes flitted across the checkered squares, narrowed as he thought.

Out of nowhere, her brother, Wyn, leaned over his shoulder, taking a large, loud bite out of an apple. Kara grimaced as juice dribbled off his chin.

"See that?" Wyn pointed toward a piece on the board.

Kara stomped her socked foot on the floor, pouting up at him. "Wyn! I was going to beat him!"

"He'd have seen it eventually," he shrugged, falling back onto their velvety couch and staring out the window.

"Mother! Wyn's eating on the sofa!" she shrieked, pointing when her mother turned to seek out her trouble-making son. With a disappointed scowl, she rested her hands on her narrow hips and cocked her head to the side. A slight, teasing smile graced her lips.

"How many times, Wyn?" she scolded as he rolled onto the floor with a groan. She shook her head, watching as her husband moved the piece Wyn pointed out. Gently, she placed her hands on his broad shoulders, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "How goes the game?"

"I could've stumped him if Wyn hadn't poked his nose in," Kara reported sourly, peering around her mother to stick her tongue out at the lanky boy sprawled across the carpet. He ignored her, focused on his snack.

"I would've found it eventually," her father grinned, raising an eyebrow as he waited for her to make a move. "Check."

"There's no way," she snapped, leaning forward to stare hard at her chess pieces, bony hands gripping the edge of her cushioned seat and skinny legs bouncing in anticipation.

Her mother laughed, shaking her head, and headed back to the kitchen to look around at her pristine realm of peace proudly. "Kain, what should I make for dinner?"

"Why are you asking me?" he replied calmly, though he looked far too excited by Kara's frustrated expression.

"Because," she scoffed, turning to face him, "this is the first time we're all here in a long time. You usually don't get a say, so I'm giving it to you."

"Decisions are hard, aren't they?" he murmured, his smile broadening when Kara shot him an irritated look. "Why don't you decide, Darling?"

"I always decide," his wife huffed, digging through our cabinets. " _Always._ "

"Yes, well—"

"Checkmate!" Kara cried, leaping to her feet. Her mouth gaped in shock that she'd found a way to defeat him. " _Checkmate_!"

"Shut it!" Wyn shouted from the floor across the house. She made a face at him, laughing at her father's frown.

"How…?"

"Ha! Beat you!"

"Kara, please," her mother chided, though there's a slight smile gracing her lips. "Why don't you come to help me decide what to make since your _father's_ being no help?"

"I wanted a rematch," the girl protested, turning to her father for help.

Slowly, he got to his feet, starting to speak when a firm knock rattled their door. The house stilled. Her mother chewed on the inside of her cheek, Wyn propped himself up onto his elbows, and she looked between the door and her father, uncertain. When he finally straightened, she hurried to the door, pulling it wide open to see a group of soldiers standing outside. They paid her no mind, stepping inside to find her father.

"Captain!" The man at the front pressed his fist to his chest, bowing quickly. "You're required at Fenestala Manor right away."

"What's happened?" her father demanded, hurrying to the door to grab his vest off the hook. The soldier scanned our faces quickly before speaking once more.

"There's been an attack. Imperials. They caught wind of Prince Noctis's location and came running, it seems."

"Why the hell aren't we moving faster, then?!"

"We came as fast as we could."

"Gods, at least sound _concerned_." Quickly, her father rushed to the kitchen to kiss her mother and squeeze his children to his side. "None of you leave this house, understood? No matter what happens, you're regular civilians."

"Regular?" Wyn repeated, frowning as he climbed to his feet, his pale hair swinging into his face.

"Let's go!"

The group of men rushed out the door before anyone could ask anything more. Alarmed, Kara run to the doorway, watching them hurry down the path and up to the enormous manor the Nox Fleuret family inhabited. Through the lush green wood surrounding the entirety of Tenebrae, a column of black smoke rose into the clear sky. Her heart caught in her throat. She felt the warmth of her brother's body as he watched over her head. She knew him well enough to know his silence was one of dread that filled the pits in their stomachs.

"Close the door," their mother choked out. She hadn't moved from the place their father left her.

"What are they going to do?" Kara demanded, stepping out of the doorway to let her brother close the house up. "The Imperials. What are they after?"

"I'm not sure." Their mother swallowed hard, closing her eyes. Wyn brushes past her to wrap his arms around her thin shoulders, brow furrowed as he thought. Fear created a tremble in Kara's cold fingers, sparking the hot rush of anger in her veins.

"The prince? Is that what they want?"

"I don't know!" their mother shouted, pushing away from Wyn. Tears welled in her eyes and she shook her head, pulling him close again. They rocked back and forth as they embraced. Kara's mouth felt cottony and dry. Something inside her snapped; she turned on her heels and grabbed her boots, jerking them onto her feet. "Kara, where are you going?" The girl hardly heard her voice, only able to focus on the image of the soldier that burst into their home mere minutes ago. "Kara?!"

Without a word, she threw the door open and ran outside, sprinting down the path she saw her father take with his men. Her boots bit the stone and tore it within their jaws, propelling her forward. She felt sick. _What if I'm too late?_ It never crosses her mind that she wouldn't be useful. She summoned her slender, perhaps _weak_ spear to her hand, her arms pumping so hard that her shoulders began to burn. The smoke drew nearer and nearer as she approached the Manor, breathless.

" _Kara!"_

She ran faster, sandwiched between two dangers. Turning the next corner as quickly as she could, she sprinted across the smooth marble of the decorative ledge, careful not to get her weapon stuck as she went. Her lungs burned and her muscles screamed, but she couldn't slow down.

The scent of fire scorched her nostrils, signaling her arrival as she turned the next corner. She hardly had time to skid to a stop, nearly toppling over the edge of the balcony to the fifty-foot drop below. A line of Tenebrae's soldiers stood along the edge, watching a scene she couldn't see around them.

"Kara!" She jumped when a hand gripped her shoulder, forcing her to turn and face Wyn. "What the _hell_ are you doing?!"

"I'm helping him!" she shouted over the sound of clashing weapons and screams. She tried to wriggle out of his grasp, but it was no use. He clung tightly, looking up as though he suddenly realized where they were.

"You can't," he insisted, shaking his head. "You'll get yourself killed. Kain can fend for himself."

"I'd rather die trying than hiding," she snapped, finally jerking free.

Before he could stop her, she leaped over the edge onto a thick, mossy tree branch, staring down at the carnage below. The soldiers that tried to withhold her with outstretched hands now held her brother as he wailed her name, struggling. _Why aren't they fighting?_ She stared down at the battle, though she could hardly see what was happening through the thick smoke.

Mechanical soldiers forged by the Empire slung their blades left and right, firing bullets through the suffocating haze. The troops of Tenebrae fought back, gritting their teeth and bearing the pain as they defend their homes. Roughly twenty feet away, she could see her father cutting down soldiers, his long, fair hair swinging sharply with each blow. Blood pooled on the ground beneath the bodies that littered the earth. Her heart sank as realization set in. _They've given up._

Overcome with horror as she realized this was her father's death sentence, she scrambled down the burly branches of the tree and rolled to her feet once she hit the ground. From there the smoke was so thick that she could hardly see where she was, tears welling in her pale eyes as they stung. Trusting her sense of direction, she kept her head low and rushed toward her father, spear at the ready. Guns fired all around her, distorting all other sounds. She screamed, startled when a hand gripped her boot. A man that was in her house hardly ten minutes before grunted, choking on the blood that gushed from a gaping wound in his throat.

" _Help,_ " he rasped.

Dizzy and nauseous, she turned away and wrenched her leg free. "Father!" she shouted over the sounds of battle, catching sight of the end of his ponytail. He pulled his spear out of a soldier's chest, whirling around with wide eyes.

"Kara?! What are you doing here?"

"I came to help!" She cried, lifting her spear. "We can't let them take—"

"Go home!" he cut her off, angry.

"Please, I'm ready! All that training—"

" _Kara_!" he thundered, jaw clenched and eyes burning. Her mouth snapped shut, and she finally saw the expression on his face for what it is: rage. _Did I really think he'd be excited to see a_ ** _child_** _out here? I'll only get in the way._

"I'm sorry," she whispered, stepping back.

She'd never seen him so angry, especially not with her. His glare never faltered, cold, as he looked past her to his surroundings. For once, she understood why he never let her watch even the smallest of battles. Out here, her father was not the gentle, kind man he was at the chessboard. He was a killer, a bloodhound on the hunt for all who would dare oppose he or the crown. And then she came, mucked up the tracks, and demanded a role in his lonesome venture. She threw him off the scent.

" _Father!"_

Without a single hesitation, Kara rushed forward, spear ready to be thrust through the oncoming soldier's body. Her eyes squeezed shut by instinct. She prepared to feel the end of his blade slicing through her chest. Instead, she felt something clamp down on her shoulder and force her to her knees. She collapsed weakly onto the ground. Feeling an alien warmth swell up around her legs, she peeled her eyes open just long enough to see the man in a foreign uniform grab her father's arm as though he weighed nothing and sling him around until he was kneeling before her, eyes wide and mouth agape in shock.

Before either of them could react, there was a slicing sound she hardly caught over the blast of gunfire bursting through the smoky air. Her father's eyes widened and he choked, blood spraying from his parted lips and sprinkling across her cheeks. Trembling, he drew a shaky breath to speak only to be jerked back and forth as the soldier pulled his blade free only to drive it clean through his chest with a sickening crunch.

More blood splattered across her skin as she sat in pure, numbed shock, watching her father's lifeless eyes roll back into his skull as he was kicked off the end of the blade and left crumpled on the dirt. The clinking of armor echoed in her ears as the assailant walked away. Sparked by the very same anger she saw in her father's eyes, she leaped to her feet, spear in hand, and blindly rushed into the smoke where she saw the man disappear, skidding to a stop once she realized she couldn't see him. He was gone.

Choking on the lump in her throat, she fell to the ground and crawled back to the body of her father, fighting tears that had already won the battle. They broke free, flowing down her cheeks and tearing holes in the bloody stains on her skin. She clutched his shirt, collapsing over his back as she was suffocated by body-crushing sobs, and babbling nonsensical prayers for his revival. She was granted no such wish.


	2. The Pact

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If We Have Each Other by Alec Benjamin

It felt as though a century passed before Kara calmed enough to hear the uniform clinking of soldiers' boots, lifting her head to see lines of Imperials marching through the smoke in unison. Through the gaps in their bodies, she saw a pair of familiar faces and scrambled to her feet, scrubbing away the tears on her face. _The Nox Fleurets._

Lunafreya looked numb, staring at the soldiers' back with empty eyes and stiff movements. Ravus's face was streaked with blood, dirt, and tears, his jaw tight and his head held high with the same pride he always carried in his back pocket. Kara swallowed her fear and forced herself to leave her father's side, hurrying to the top edge of the wall where the Tenebraean soldiers tried to stop her from leaving. The Imperials paid her no mind as she ran past.

Wyn caught her eye and opened his mouth to speak when he was forced down by the soldiers beside him. He went kicking and screaming his sister's name. A man of imposing build and in an enormous, bulky set of armor strode up to the ledge, staring down at her brother with disgust.

"The fight's over, boy."

"What did you do to him?!" Wyn wailed, trying to fight his way back up. "Why—"

"Silence him," the man commanded, nodding to a solder nearby. The soldier lifted his gun, walking forward to get a clear shot. Kara's voice caught in her throat and she shook her head, choking. Another voice saved him.

"Wait!" Everyone froze where they were and Lunafreya broke through the soldiers, arms outstretched. "I'm hardly in a position to made demands, but spare him and he will make it worth your while!"

"How?" the commander called back, his lips tugging into a menacing smile. "He's obviously not loyal to our cause."

"How could he be when at this moment he can see nothing but the worst of it?" Lunafreya straightened, folding her hands together over her heart. "His father was an esteemed general in command of hundreds of men."

"Men that were far too easy to defeat," he chuckled, spreading his arms to gesture toward the burning, bloodied mess he'd made of their home. The Imperials laughed along as if they were ordered to.

Luna's face soured. "Hardly." The soldiers quieted, uncomfortably watching their commander for their next cue. Kara held her breath, pressing her back to a nearby tree. "If you let him live, perhaps someday he will be the same as his father, but under your command. I swear this to you on his behalf."

"Hm." The commander turned to scowl down at Wyn and kicked the boy's side with the heavy tip of his boot. "What say you, boy?"

"I—" Wyn gritted his teeth and sat up enough to meet Kara's eyes. She pursed her lips together, defeated. _What choice do we have?_ "Y-yes, I accept."

"He accepts," a soldier mocked, creating a ripple of taunting laughs across the crowd.

"You!" the commander bellowed, turning abruptly. Kara nearly jumped out of her skin when she realized he was talking to her. "Who are you to him?"

"Me?" she repeated, glancing toward Luna nervously. She offered the weakest smile she'd ever given and stepped back into the circle of guards. Ravus didn't bat an eye. "I-I'm his sister."

"Younger or older?"

"The former, sir."

"Ha!" The large man's beady eyes rolled back into his head when he laughed. Kara shuddered. "Want me to believe you're going to fight when you're little sis's the only one on the field?" Wyn didn't reply, hanging his head. The commander snarled and kicked him again. "Get the girl, too. Take them where we're keeping the royalty."

"Sir!"

Kara didn't have time to process his words before a pair of soldiers gripped her arms and dragged her toward the steps. The barrel of a gun pressed down between her shoulder bladers, reminding her not to fight back. She wouldn't even if she could. At the last moment, Ravus caught her eye and refused to let go until she couldn't turn to see him anymore. Wyn was dragged to his feet and pulled behind her. Turning her eyes away from their conquered land, Kara took her last deep breath of fresh air for a long time to come. _I should have cherished it while it was still clear of the Imperials' filth._

With quick steps and sharply barked commands, she and Wyn were brought inside the glorious manor of the Nox Fleurets. The soldiers marched them up a long, spiraling staircase and separated them at the top. Kara watched the paints and carpets pass with dry eyes, too tired to cry any longer.

Kara desperately wished to feel devoid of emotion when the soldiers pushed her through an open bedroom door and locked it behind her. The shadow of a man waiting outside blocked some of the light into the room and she stared up at the walls from her spot on the floor. She wished that she could sit in contemplative silence and plot out an escape, or peacefully lie down in bed and sleep through the rest of that dreadful day. She wanted to be strong when she walked to the window to see the destruction that turned her world upside down in a matter of hours.

But she couldn't stomach any of it. With a choked sob, she fell into the window seat and buried her face in a throw pillow before screaming over and over and over again until her throat was raw and she couldn't breathe. She sat up abruptly and threw the pillow at the wall, knocking a delicately placed mirror to the floor and watching the shattered glass skitter across the pale wood. The shadow outside didn't move. Angry, she screamed again, her voice hoarse and broken. No answer. The paint chipped when the mirror's frame slammed against the door, but there was still no response. Nothing. She was utterly alone.

Exhausted, she threw herself into bed and buried herself under the heavy covers. Slowly but surely, she cried herself to sleep.

When she woke in the morning, there was a tray of food on the bedside table and a pitcher of water beside it. For a moment, she was surprised that someone had been able to sneak in and leave her undisturbed. But then the rage took over once again and she flung them both to the floor, watching the rug soak up the water like a sponge.

With a huff, she stood and tried to pry open the window. It wouldn't budge. She sighed and fell into the window seat. The pillow was back where it was the day before and the glass was gone, as was the mirror's frame. She frowned, turning her gaze to the charred woods. _I should have saved a piece._ But she knew there was no point. She wasn't stupid; if she died, they took Wyn, too. It was all a ploy to force them into keeping their word to the Imperials.

Uneasy, she stood and paced in circles. _I wonder how Mother's doing._ Her stomach churned and she closed her eyes, stilling her feet to take a deep breath. The worry was suffocating her and grief for her father stabbed at her heart. When she finally sat back down, the commander threw her door open, followed by a pair of soldiers. His eyes immediately went to the spilled food and drink.

"Not hungry, Miss…?"

"Highwind," she replied sharply, her bitter hatred clear in her glaring eyes. "And no, I'm not."

"Highwind's hardly a name, now is it?" he asked, though his questions sounded more like a demand.

Fearful, Kara swallowed the lump in her throat along with her pride, and her gaze returned to the floor. " _Kara_ Highwind."

" _Kara_ Highwind, do you think my soldiers came to your land bearing fresh fruit and vegetables in their rations?" He jerked his head toward the silver tray on the floor. "Your meal comes from the gracious family that once owned this estate."

"They _still_ own it," she gritted out meekly.

The commander didn't react to her refusal to cooperate, nodding for his soldiers to stand back as he drew nearer. He knelt before her, cocking his head to the side and forcing her to look him in the eye. "I understand how you must be suffering in wondering whether or not you'll be harmed here. I assure you, Kara, that you and your brother are safe under our care."

Anger built pressure in her chest and Kara ripped her hands away from his when he reached out. "You're mistaken. I don't _care_ if I live or not. I care for my family's lives and I fear what will become of them because you and your most _honorable_ men murdered my father!"

"Of course." The man returned to his towering height having given up on compassion. "And your brother will live if he keeps his allegiance to us, as will you. In fact, I came to you for this very reason." She frowned when he clasped his callous hands behind his back and arches an eyebrow on his scar-gnarled face. "I want you to pledge your life to us as well. I've done my research. Your entire family emanated power and leadership from the very start—pure, untapped strength. We have a young relative of yours in our sights already, aside from your brother. A woman by the name of Aranea."

"My cousin," Kara murmured, unable to recall the last time she'd had a pleasant experience with the girl. She was a few years older than Wyn, and yet, she'd already started to prover herself across the Western nations of the world. It's no wonder she agreed to training from the Imperials. She'd make her name even bigger that way. "What's she have to do with me?"

"You're not close?"

"No." Kara's startled stare reverted back into a glower and she mustered enough bravery to scowl at him.

"Here's the thing, Kara Highwind. I can't simply have an incomplete collection."

"Oh, you're a collector, are you?" she snapped. He ignored her.

"What will it take to convince you? I refuse to resort to petty threats on your brother's life if that's what you're afraid of."

Kara glanced back toward the floor, remembering the earlier, simpler years of her childhood, to the days of playdates with the royal children where her father worked his hardest to climb the ranks just as his father and his father's father. Back to the days of peace and worry-free living. When Wyn didn't have to prepare to care for our mother as a boy before Kain came along. One face, devoid of all emotion yet flickering with the flames of rage came to mind.

Kara's eyes shot up to meet the commander's. "Bring me Ravus Nox Fleuret. Allow us to speak _alone_ and then I will talk about service."

"The prince? Why him?" The commander laughed loudly, shaking his head. "The boy hasn't spoken a kind word to a soul since we arrived."

"Don't pretend you don't know why," she retorted. "That's my offer."

The commander sighed and jerked his head toward the door. Kara's heart sank as he turned his back, leaving. Before he closed the door, though, he spoke.

"I'll come back when you're in a better mood. Smith, gather her food. I'm sure someone will appreciate it."

"And the water, sir?"

"Do you plan on wringing out the rug?"

"No sir."

"Then leave it."

With that, they left her alone. Kara fell onto her back, closing her eyes as the mattress bounced beneath her. Her mother's face haunted her behind her eyelids, pleading her not to go, to stay home as her father told them to.

She sighed. _I should have listened._ Now she was locked in the manor with a scary man that apparently thought she and her brother to be lower-class royalty worth holding hostage. _If he wants us that badly, he'll give in._

Days passed by just as the first had. She refused to eat, poured out her drinks, stared out the window, and slept. The commander stopped by every other day, waiting for her answer. She always told him the same thing: if she couldn't speak to Ravus, she wouldn't join his army. He made it painfully clear that he underestimated her dedication to the boy. If there was anything her mother had passed down to her, it was her infallible stubbornness.

She kept track of the days by using her fingernail to scrape a mark into the soft wood of the bed frame. On day twelve, the commander returned.

The door hit the wall behind it from the force with which it was thrown open. The man looked angry, but Kara hardly had it in her to be afraid any longer. She didn't have to worry any longer, though, as the soldiers behind the commander parted and a boy stumbled into the room, shoved. He fell to his hands and knees and remained there, humiliated and beaten down.

"You have five minutes," the commander barked, slamming the door behind him.

Kara hardly heard him, throwing herself to the floor and enveloping the prince in a crushing hug. It took him a moment to reciprocate, his pale hands trembling and his breaths unsteady when he finally gave in.

"Ravus!" she cried out in a hushed whisper, pulling away to look him over.

His usually pristine clothes were wrinkled and his eyes were red, whether from lack of sleep or tears she couldn't tell. His brow was knit tightly and his face looked thin; she didn't imagine she looked much better. The considerate, gentle nature he'd always carried with him had melted away. She saw only anger.

"Why did you bring me here?" he asked, glancing around the room quickly. She sat back, crossing her legs. Her heart stung with the chill of bitterness for the commander's pestering despite her grieving and the crime he'd committed against their nation.

"That man, the one who brought you… He's trying to convince me to join Wyn in their army."

"You can't join," the boy insisted with a frown, his eyes shadowed by strands of fair hair. His shoulders were tense, holding him down in a hunched position. "You're too young, aren't you?"

"Yes, but it's for the future." She scoffed, shaking her head as she picked at the threads in the rug. She'd forgotten who it belonged to, but Ravus didn't seem to care. He was staring at her face, not her hands. "A promise that when Wyn's enlisted, I am too." She shrugged, feigning apathy. "I don't know what to do."

"And you're asking me?" Ravus didn't sound angry, just confused. "What do I have to do with this?"

"Ravus, they killed my father in front of me," she blurted, forcing herself to look him in the eye. "They stabbed him and threw him at my feet. His _blood-stained_ my face." She choked on her words for a moment, unable to keep looking. She turned to the floor. "They did the same to hundreds of others. How can I be asked to fight for them?"

Ravus turned to the floor, too. "My mother…"

Kara's heart skipped a beat, pained with pity. She reached out and rested a hand on his knee. "They can't be allowed to get away with this."

"They aren't the ones at fault."

"What?" Kara frowned. Had he really switched sides so easily?

"They attacked because of Prince Noctis. The _Chosen King_ was here." He spat the words like venom, his jaw tight, and his eyes bearing the intensity of his hatred. "And his father, the man with all the might of the Lucian kings of old?" He glanced up at her and Kara shivered. "He ran. He took Lunafreya by the hand, carried his son, and left us all to die."

"King Regis?" Kara repeated, awed. "But why would he—"

"Out of selfishness. He didn't want to lose his son or the _Oracle,_ and so he stole them and ran."

"But Luna—"

"She let the Imperials take her." Ravus trembled, unable to control his rage as he leaped to his feet, hands balled up at his sides so tightly that his knuckles turned white. "He left us to die!" Kara watched as he paced like a caged animal, unable to catch his breath. "He left me to stand there as my mother became another victim to their blades in order to save _my_ life!" He swallowed the lump in his throat and roughly scrubbed the tears off his reddened cheeks. "If _anyone_ deserves to suffer, it's the king who left a kingdom to burn."

Kara nodded, suddenly overcome with relief. Finally, someone understood. Finally, she had direction. This anger was welcoming, devoid of sadness. It empowered her to make a choice the Imperials would never see coming, and when the time came, she could hit them while they were down.

Everyone deserved to suffer for their sins, to pay back what they'd so carelessly stolen from them. A soft laugh passed through her lips and she stood, reaching forward to take his cold hands with a reassuring smile. He looked confused, perhaps even afraid that she'd call him a fool.

"We all join, then, all three of us. We climb high into the ranks and kill them from the inside out. Think of all the ways we could do it with all that fancy machinery!" She laughed, giddy. "I swear, Ravus, I'll devote my life to helping you get your revenge if you help me get mine. We form an alliance and never look back."

Ravus, a young man at fifteen years of age, looked as innocent as a small boy with his wide, questioning eyes. "Never?"

"Not once," she promised, squeezing his hands tighter. "We'll make sure no one harms Tenebrae ever again."

"Does Wyn know?"

"No, I haven't seen him." Kara nodded, checking off boxes in her head. "I'll make a final demand to let us have the freedom to live without the guards breathing down our necks so we can speak with each other freely. After all, we're not prisoners anymore if we agree to be one of them."

"One of them…"

"Where are they keeping Luna?"

"Her own room. They're protecting the Oracle," he answered sharply, though she knew his frustration had little to do with her.

"Do they no care that you share her blood?"

"I doubt it."

They sat in silence for the remainder of their allotted time together, though it wasn't empty. Hope filled the gaps, intertwining with the rage to form a gruesome rope that promised to lead them to their freedom—to their redemption.

Finally, the door swung open and Ravus got back to his feet, led out of the room by the Imperial soldiers that seemed to tail their leader endlessly. Kara stood, crossing her arms when the commander raised an eyebrow.

"Satisfied?"

"I have one more request, and it's a simple one."

"I knew you'd get greedy," the man grumbled, resting his hands on his armored hips. "Go ahead."

"We—that is, Ravus and I—decided that we would like to have a bit more freedom until me and my brother are allowed to go home. As in unlocked doors and minimal guards."

"And how do I know this isn't some mischief you two plotted?"

"How do you expect a few children to overtake your entire guard?" she countered stubbornly. "Do you have so little faith in your own soldiers?"

"I trust them wholeheartedly," he replied defensively. "I _don't_ trust that you don't know every nook and cranny of this building."

"I only ask that we have access to each other's rooms, then. That way we can all at least see each other."

"Why is this so important to you?"

"Wyn and I are close with the royal family, and it would be a boost in everyone's morale to see more than the faces of the men we can't help but associate with the enemy for now."

The soldier at the door chuckled. "She certainly has a way with words for a girl that's only twelve."

"Quiet," the commander snapped. "Fine. _Guarded_ access to each other's rooms starting tomorrow morning. Are you satisfied, or shall I buy you a pure-bred chocobo as well?"

"No, that's all. Thank you." Kara flashed a genuine smile. "You have my gratitude and the guarantee of my service. When should I expect to begin my training?"

"Immediately after your next birthday," he answered stiffly, heading out of the room. "Welcome to Niflheim, Kara Highwind."

Kara held her smile until the door closed. The instant it did, she stood and headed for her bed, falling onto the mattress tiredly. _Welcome to Niflheim._ She scoffed, shaking her head and closing her eyes. _What an asshole._


	3. High Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mind Over Matter by Young the Giant

_Clink, clink, clink. The jingling of silver buckles and studded belts never left her ears. The unified sounds of marching, the groaning of steel joints, the sharpening of blades. Soldiers chattered and eyed the magitek army that crawled the countryside with them._

_She turned to the glowing horizon. There was excitement in the wind and in the voices, but there was something else, too. Something for more sinister. Her brow creased with her frown and she took a breath to get a better taste._

_It was death._

* * *

"Stand up straight!"

The line of young soldiers obeyed, staring dead ahead at the line across from them. They couldn't see those cadets as people; everyone around them was a _thing;_ whether they be useful, useless, or the enemy was for them to decide. The girl across from Kara saw an object; Kara saw _her_ as an object. They were pawns in the game of war, and while they fought at the command of their officers, they also fought to keep the pawns in. Numbers were a factor in the strategy. They could not become distracted. Apart, they were people, diverse. Together, they were one, the same.

Everything of that sort had been drilled into Kara's head from day one, and yet, she still couldn't make peace with it. She really didn't see an _object_ when she looked across from her. She was the girl that helped her lug her limping brother back to their mother's house after he fell from a tree. _The girl_ saw an object. Kara saw a human. They were not one and the same. There was a weak spot in the links, and if Kara couldn't pull herself together, then it was her. That was nothing new, she supposed.

"Good. Getting better." The commander at the front of the line strolled past in light padded armor, her hair tied up in a tight knot and her face as stiff as tree bark. It had enough wrinkles to be bark, too, with all the frowning she did. She was a tough woman, strict and stubborn in her ways. "Your improvements have been in ways of obeying orders swiftly and sticking together, which are very important skills to have." She stopped sharply before a young man, boring holes into his brown eyes. He stared back, clearly fighting the urge to fidget. "But your skill in battle is something to be laughed at."

"Shit," the girl next to Kara gritted through her teeth. Fortunately, the woman didn't hear.

"You're clumsy, individualistic, and weak. What army do you fight for?" Dead silence. "Answer me!"

"Niflheim," everyone replied in unison, tasting the bitter flavor of the name on their tongues.

"Do Niflheim soldiers fight like frightened children?"

"No, ma'am."

"Then work on that. Immediately. There are some of you who are in _incredible_ danger of being cut this next time around." She made eye contact with a smaller girl in the opposite row, unafraid to call out the weaklings. It gave them the motivation to train harder. "You're dismissed."

The cadets waited for her to clear the lines before relaxing, taking deep breaths, and rubbing their sore muscles. The boy she originally stared down headed closer to Kara, hands clasped behind his head. The girl beside her turned, crossing her arms.

"I can't stand that wench."

"She's certainly something else," Kara muttered, looking over her solider at the commander.

"Graves can suck my ass," the boy huffed, rolling his eyes.

"Aloc, quiet, she'll hear you," Kara hissed. Mairi slapped his chest with the palm of her hand. She jumped when a hand rested on her shoulder, rolling her dark eyes when she saw that it was only Leo coming to join them.

"You have to run suicides again?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

He shrugged and crossed his arms. "Maybe. Beat my time, though."

"Leo's about to be the fastest guy on the team," Aloc snickered, yelping when Leo grabbed hold of him and ground his knuckles into his brunette hair. "Ow!"

"Make that the strongest, too!" Leo laughed, enjoying his little bout of bullying. Kara rolled her eyes, shooting Mairi a look, and headed toward the exit to the ledge of the Manor they occasionally trained on. It was a long, smooth surface with just enough grip for their boots and just enough space for their troops. At least, that's what Wyn said. He was in another group with Ravus, though, because he was older than she and her friends.

"Where are you going?!" Aloc protested, wrestling free from Leo's grasp and running after the girls.

"Home," Mairi snorted. "Where else?"

"Don't you want to hang out a little longer?" he insisted.

Leo mocked him in a high-pitched voice, earning a shove from the smaller boy. He was only teasing, though. They all knew Aloc didn't have anyone else to go home to. He'd been alone since the Imperials attacked three years ago. Both his parents died in the fight and he didn't have any siblings. They shot his dog for good measure.

"Sure, but—" Kara started, cut off by Mairi.

"What's there to do out here, anyway?" she demanded, shaking her ponytail to keep the flies off her neck. "Roam the woods."

"Uh, _yeah._ "

"I'm down," Kara shrugged, offering a smile.

Aloc threw a fist in the air, turning his head to speak to an older cadet that passed by. "I'm hanging out with girls, Reggie!"

"Yeah? Are they going out of pity?"

"Shut _up!"_

Mairi snickered, stretching her arms over her head. Her eyes flitted across the groups of training soldiers that line the Manor's property. Kara couldn't imagine why they needed so many cadets right now; then again, it was better to be ready sooner rather than later. Mairi elbowed her and stood on her toes to get her lips close to her friend's ears.

"I see a hottie over there."

"Where?" Kara frowned, turning in the direction she nodded in. "Which one?"

"That guy, right there. The tall one with the short blonde hair. Hear he's a real hit with the ladies." Kara frowned, scanning the crowd. _Who…?_ "Well, one lady."

"Mairi, that's my _brother!"_ Kara huffed, shoving Mairi off as she laughed with the others.

"And you're the lucky lady!"

"What's the supposed to mean?" Kara demanded, her face flushing red. She looked like a downright idiot looking for the "hottie" Mairi was showing her. "What're you talking about?"

"You're the apple of his eye, Kara," Aloc crooned, tugging at the ends of Kara's hair. She swatted his hands away irritably.

"Yeah, Wyn wouldn't even help train the younger cadets because he doesn't want to see you cry," Leo taunted. Aloc blubbered like a baby beside him. Kara rolled my eyes, watching her brother speak to Ravus with a gentle smile on his face.

"That's… That's not why!" Kara insisted, stammering.

" _Sure_ it's not," Aloc drawled out, flashing a smug grin. "Then why won't he?"

"I'm sure it's because he just doesn't have time," Kara replied with a frown. _None for me, anyway._

"And I'm sure I'm right," Leo butted in.

Mairi rolled her eyes, jamming her elbow into Aloc's ribs. "Shut up, you damn idiots. You're drawing attention."

The boys didn't stop their howling laughter and their shoving, but at least they quit picking on Kara. They left the main streets of the city and headed toward the massive expanse of forest that swallowed the edges of Tenebrae.

Mairi ripped shreds of grass from the ground, peeling them piece by piece until they were too thin to peel any longer. Aloc and Leo ran around like madmen, shouting and shoving and wrestling with each other. Kara turned her eyes upward to the bright light of the sun that cast beams of light down through the canopy over their heads, warming the forest and freckling her skin.

"Whoa, what's that?" Aloc cried suddenly, pointing toward something he spotted further into the lush woods. Mairi crossed her arms, holding a handful of grass blades.

"If it's titties, I don't want to see. That's the only thing you're interested in, anyway."

"Why the hell would there be _titties_ out here?" Aloc retorted.

Leo snickered, jerking his head toward Kara and Mairi. "There're a couple of pairs right there."

"Leo don't be a creep!" Mairi shrieked, throwing the grass at his back. His broad shoulders shook as he laughed, shaking his head and scratching at the messy pile of hair on his head.

"What is it, Aloc?" Kara asked.

He nodded forward. Through the trees and the vines that crawled up their cracked bark, she could see the edge of a cliff and perhaps even water spraying into the air. Her heart sparked with excitement and she turned to face him with wide eyes and an even wider smile.

"Let's go!"

"Where are we going?" Mairi demanded, ignored by the rest of the group as they hurried through the tall weeds to reach whatever they'd seen. Groaning, she ran after them, irritated by their energy as per usual.

A variety of grasses and roots and flowers caught on Kara's pant legs as she followed Aloc, running as fast as she could through the greenery. Leo tripped over a root and nearly toppled over to her left. Mairi panted behind her, easily catching up. She was so busy looking around that she almost didn't see when Aloc skidded to a stop. He was breathless from the run, but she found her breath was taken away for a different reason: the view.

Fifteen feet below them was a round pool of water that looked deep enough to dive into, lined by a narrow shore of smooth pebbles. Steep, slippery slabs of stone led the way down to a waterfall that poured into the pool, starting atop a mossy ledge opposite the one they stood on. Fine mist sprayed into the air, caught by the sunlight and reflecting a rainbow of glittering colors.

"Whoa," Kara murmured, taking in the sights with wonder.

She could feel Leo behind her, looking out over her head. To her right, Mairi stared with wide eyes. Aloc was the first to stir into action, quickly fumbling with the belts and buttons on his cadet uniform. Leo's face lit up and he joined in.

"Seriously, guys? Keep your clothes on," Mairi huffed, though Kara didn't miss her eyeing their skinny teenage-boy muscles.

"We don't know how deep it is," Kara added with genuine concern, hurrying toward the stones that lead downward. "I'll go check! Wait for my go-ahead."

"Kara's always killing the fun," Aloc sighed, though he grinned from ear to ear.

Leo waited impatiently as Kara stripped off her outer garments and waded into the water in her shorts, feeling the steep downward slope with her toes. The bottom was covered in mud, rocks, and an assortment of slimy plants she couldn't see through the muck. The water got so deep that she could no longer walk, and so she swam further toward the center, plugged her nose, and dove down with her free hand extended to see how far she could go. Satisfied when her fingers brushed a smooth clump of algae, she swam back up and threw both thumbs in the air.

"It's—"

" _Whoopee!"_

She hardly had time to think before the waves from Aloc's jump washed over her head. She choked on the water she inhaled, giving him a good splash when he came to the surface, laughing. He pushed his soggy hair out of his eyes, looking up and, with a panicked look, swimming to his left. Kara followed suit, clearing just enough space for Leo to land without drowning them both. Mairi reached the shore, still fully dressed. Knowing full well how much she hated swimming, Aloc splashed at her, spraying just enough water to make her angry.

"Don't be an ass!" she shrieked, stomping her foot in the gravel. Kara laughed, swimming up to the shore and dragging herself out. She squeezed the water out of her clothes and grinned at Mairi, giddy.

"I had no idea this was out here."

"None of us did," Leo pointed out, floating on his back with his hands folded behind his head.

"Otherwise we'd be out here every day."

"You got that right," Kara laughed, watching Aloc jump onto Leo's stomach with a wince. She turned back to Mairi. "You having fun?"

"Yeah," she shrugged, twisting her long black hair around one finger. "Hey, look."

Kara turned to where she pointed and couldn't believe her eyes. There was a small cave carved out behind the waterfall. She couldn't tell how far back it went, but its mere existence made her excited all over again.

They hurried along the rocky shore to the small alcove, ignoring the protests of the boys. Inside, there was nothing but small puddles and some slimy grime on the walls, and it didn't go far back, but she was overjoyed. There were limited things for them to enjoy in those days; they would take all they could get.

Kara plopped down on a smooth rock and rested her chin in her palm, watching the waterfall into the pool below with fascination. Mairi huffed, not wanting to touch anything for fear of getting her clothes uncomfortably damp. It was too late, though as the spray from passing the waterfall had clung to her uniform. Aloc and Leo swam over, dragging themselves up into the cavern.

"What do have we here," Aloc mused, slipping and falling on his ass when he stuck his foot right into a streak of algae.

Leo laughed, hoisting him to his feet. "This looks like some cheesy romance movie cave," he commented, turning to face the girls with a devilish grin. "Who wants a kiss?"

"From you? Literally no one," Mairi scoffed.

Kara wrestled a smile and shook her head. "No thanks. I don't need whatever diseases you're carrying."

"Gee, _thanks,_ " Leo huffed, punching Aloc's shoulder when the skinnier boy elbowed his ribs. They got caught up in a hitting match before Aloc finally howled in pain and scampered off to Kara and Mairi, rubbing a welt on his arm.

"Good thing he's gettin' out before the rest of us."

"If he can make it," Mairi snorted.

Aloc frowned. "I thought it went by age, though."

"It does, but if you're not good enough for the next rank up then you're cut."

"Harsh," Kara mumbled, looking up at Leo.

He shrugged. "You guys gotta make it the year after me. Worry about yourselves."

"What _ever,"_ Mairi retorted, sticking out her tongue.

Kara sighed, leaning back against the grimy wall. "What will you do if you don't make it?"

Leo frowned. "I will."

"But just… what if?"

"… I dunno." He shrugged, scratching his wet blonde hair. "I guess just find some other job. I think working on those big Imperial machines would be pretty cool."

"Yeah," Kara nodded, glancing up at Mairi. Her expression soured.

"There's no 'what if.'"

"It's just a game, Ri-Ri," Aloc teased, tugging on her ponytail like a rope.

She whipped around and smacked him across the face. The sound was deafening inside the alcove, stunning them into silence as Aloc touched his bloody lip. Mairi's hands curled into fists.

"There's no what _if_!" she repeated, turning her wild eyes to me. "Because if I don't make it, my mother will beat the _life_ out of me until I might as well be dead anyway. There's nothing for me if I can't _fight!_ It would help if you guys took this more _seriously_." She turned on her heels and headed toward the door.

"Mairi, we didn't—" Kara started, standing.

She turned back, fuming. "Not all of us have _heroes_ in the family, Kara. Shut up about your _daddy_ for once and live your own damn life."

Kara's mouth snapped shut, her chest aching, and the group watched her go. Aloc wiped his face with the back of his hand, smearing blood across his pale skin.

Chewing on the inside of his cheek, Leo glanced at Kara and sighed, shaking his head. "It's high time we went home anyway."

"High time. What are you, my grandmother?" Alco snorted, standing and stomping out of the cave.

Kara sighed and slumped back against the rocks to watch the water tumble down. _Why did they have to ruin everything?_ She could've been out here with Wyn, playing tag or war or swimming. But war wasn't imaginary, tag was played with bullets, and swimming was nearly always done in blood.

Nothing was the same anymore. Everything changed around them, and sometimes, she wished she could change, too. But she couldn't. She had to stay true to who she was: the daughter of Kain Highwind. A daughter of Tenebrae. She made a promise to Ravus, and she had to hold up her end. That promise…

She would never, _ever_ let that promise break. _I swear it on my life._


	4. Different

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nightlight by We Three

Kara kissed her mother's wrinkled cheek on her way out the door, tightening the straps across her chest and adjusting her uniform in the tight spots. It was the same every morning: Wyn left far before either of them were awake, Mother made her breakfast, and she rushed out the door with nothing but her gratitude on her lips and hope in her heart. That day was no different. It was the same.

Aloc waited for her on the path to the Manor, eyes half-open in the early morning light and hands clasped behind his head. They headed up the walkway in silence; usually, she brought him something to eat from her pantry. That day was no different. She lifted an apple and handed it over. He wiped it on his shirt wordlessly and took a big bite, letting the juice dribble down his chin for a moment before scrubbing off with the back of his sleeve.

Mairi hurried out of her house on the street corner, running toward them. When she got close, there was no sound but her heavy breathing as she looped her arm through Kara's and took a deep breath to calm herself. Sometimes they walked like this in the morning, arms looped together and breath puffing out like steam to join the fog curling around them. That day was no different. It was the same.

At least, that's what she kept telling herself.

But that _was_ different. They were to be tested yet again, this time on their combat. The weaklings would be cut. Their troops were for the elite. Their army was for the elite. The Imperials were the elite. If they weren't deemed worthy, they were sent home with no choice but to do with a commoner's life, a simple man's tale. They removed the trash to make room for more treasures. No one wanted to be a part of the junk pile. Imperials walked all over them even worse than they did when cadets were around them all the time. Kara and her friends were training to be like that, to see themselves so highly that they felt the need to crush those around them.

She wasn't so sure she was ready to feel that way.

Finally, they reached the smooth white steps that led to their training grounds. There, they saw Leo already lined up, his hands clasped behind his back and his feet squared. As they passed to get into position, he winked one of his bright, hazel eyes at them, unable to smile for fear of being seen. Graves, their commander, stood at the front of the two lines as she usually did, chin high and shoulders back. She looked just as stern as always.

That day was no different.

Kara stood beside Mairi, watching Aloc fill the gap in the line a few people ahead. Several more cadets came and joined them, eyes dead ahead, locked on the person before them. Kara found staring at the space between cadets' eyes helped tremendously. Maybe that was why she wasn't cut out for this path. At least, not in the eyes of the Empire. But she'd prove herself one way or another. She was keeping her promise to Ravus—she was determined to.

She'd heard that the trials for the people of her age were fairly easy, based purely on physical skills they'd honed over the past year. She heard the trial Wyn's group would do that day was the hardest. She half-hoped that her sources were correct, half-hoped that Wyn was okay. No matter what happened, she knew he would be okay.

All the others talked about how good he and Ravus were, how they were always competing for the top. All the girls talked about him like he was a piece of meat; all the boys were jealous of his talent. They blamed their father. Kara didn't think they knew Wyn wasn't his son, the ignorant pigs. Wyn never wanted to be associated with Kain and she never wanted to be associated with Ventus, and they respected that for each other. And there they were, their roles reversed. She might as well be the daughter of a traitor and he was more likely the son of a hero.

Lucky them.

"Listen up!"

The cadets stiffened, hardly able to breathe for fear of twitching as Graves moved down the center of the line, staring ahead at nothing. Kara swallowed hard, praying Graves didn't see. The girl across from her looked as though she'd throttle her and beat her to a pulp if that's what she was commanded to do to continue training. _I don't think I could do the same to her_.

"You'll be split into three groups. There are three stations to go with those groups. Am I understood?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Good. Today you'll be doing tests, as I'm sure you already knew. Those tests will be at each of those stations. Strength, endurance, and combat." Kara felt her heart hammering in her chest as the commander drew nearer. Kara prayed she couldn't see the pounding through her shirt. Graves strode past her without batting an eye and she relaxed just the slightest bit. "If there are any questions or concerns, speak now." Grave stopped at the end, turning sharply to see if anyone dared to raise their hand. No one stirred. "Good. You'll find your names on the lists at each station. From there, once everyone has gone, we will rotate. If you take too long, you're out for good. Understand?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Then get moving."

The cadets scattered, rushing to find their names. Kara found hers easily enough, quickly realizing that they were divided into alphabetical order. Heart sinking, she realized that none of her friends will be in her group and took a deep breath. _All the better. I swear I'm cheering you all on from here._ She looked down at the ground, noticing the massive amounts of weights and large objects scattered about. _Strength, huh? Wear me out before everything else?_ She sighed. _Though I suppose I shouldn't be too worn out if I'm making the cut, now should I?_

"Listen up!" Kara stiffened at the sound of the demanding voice, but once she realized was only a soldier that was hardly any older than them, she relaxed. Her eyes scanned over their faces, much softer than Graves'. She was by no means gentle, though, as she clearly took her position seriously. "This isn't about who can lift the most; I don't want to see anyone out here throwing things around. You got that?" The cadets nodded unison. Kara noticed other soldiers around the older girl's age gathering by her. "We're here to time you and ensure that you're all going with proper form."

"So, what're we doing?" a boy asked, crossing his arms.

She eyed him in tense silence before turning back to the rest of them. "I'll tell you when you get there."

"Get where?"

"On the ground," she snapped. "Everyone. _Now_."

Before long, Kara was gritting her teeth and dragging herself to her feet with shaky legs, sore arms, and a throbbing stomach. All her muscles burned from what felt like hundreds of simple but exhausting exercises. _What was the point of all those?_ She huffed, staring at all the weights littering the ground. A sharp whistle pierced the air and her unit dragged themselves over to what she could only guess was the real combat test.

Someone shoved her shoulder playfully and held their hand up. She frowned, looking up to see a rather familiar face grinning at her—the son of her father's closest friend. Rolling her eyes and giving him a high five, she scanned the rest of her group for people she recognized. No one else she particularly cared about, really.

"Holding up alright?" Gray asked, watching a few people with slumped shoulders or angry glowers leave the terrace. _So many already?_ Her stomach churned.

"I think so. You?"

"Yeah." He rubbed his arm, digging into his muscles with his fingertips. His brunette curls bounced with every step he took. "A lot sorer than I thought I'd be."

"Me too," she sighed, trying to shake off her nerves. They came to a stop by a large section of ground that had been squared off. He could tell she was on edge.

"Hey, you did great back there. Your times were amazing."

"Were they? I felt pretty average," she huffed, trying to hide the anxiety in her voice. "At least that's not failing."

"Above average, I'd say. Hardly broke a sweat." He bumped his shoulder against hers, nodding toward Graves as she strode toward the group, head held high and shoulders squared. "Does she ever unwind?"

"I doubt it," Kara scoffed, wrestling a smile. "I think she sleeps like that."

"That's what I aspire to be."

"You'd better _not_ become that."

Gray stifled a laugh, giving Graves his full attention. Kara followed, trying to ignore the fluttering of her heart that picked up every time she felt the brush of his arm against hers. Their leader walked into the center of the square, her sharp eyes meeting each of theirs before she spoke.

"You're not stupid, so I'll let you all decide what you're doing right now."

" _Come on Leo, kiss the ground!"_

_"You don't shut up, you'll kiss my ass!"_

Kara pressed her lips together and tried her hardest to stay focused, amused by Aloc's cheerful encouragement. At least he'd keep everyone going if she couldn't. Graves clearly heard them, staring hard at their group before returning to her speech.

"Choose your weapon carefully; I will judge your skills based on that, as well as your efficiency. I understand that speed and power are styles—there's no need to be concerned about that. One at a time, I'll call you forth for the test against myself. Only practice weapons or you're automatically out. Am I clear?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Good." She looked around the circle twice in dead silence, killing their precious time. Some cadets shifted anxiously; others stared back just as hard, determined to stay strong. "Gray Harvey."

"Sweet," Gray muttered. Kara realized he was genuinely enjoying himself. _He really isn't worried, then._ ]

An enormous blade shimmered into his hands from thin air and he heaved it onto his shoulder, muscles rippling. Kara averted her eyes when her face heated up, flexing her sweaty hands before flattening them at her sides. Graves summoned her own sword and a basic shield, and the cadets watched as she moved to strike him without a moment's notice. He blocked her strike quickly with the flat of his blade, pushing forward to knock her back. Emotionless, she straightened and stepped back, unreadable. Gray met her gaze fearlessly, waiting for her next move.

"Attack me," she ordered.

And he obeyed. One side of the group stepped back to avoid getting bludgeoned as he swept his sword out to the side, rushing at her. She dove out of the way, moving to strike his back in a demonstrational moment of weakness.

But Gray knew the rhythm of battle too well and he summoned his own shield, flinging his arm up to block the blow before swinging his sword back around and bringing it down over her head. She blocked, her knees wavering just the slightest bit, and stepped back, pleased. She jerked her head toward the crowd, dismissing him. _That's it?_

Gray grinned, wiping the sweat off his forehead with the back of his arm, and headed back to Kara's side. She gave him another high five and grimaced when the sweat on his hand-mixed with hers.

"That wasn't so hard," she whispered. She was starting to feel a little better.

He shook his head. "I mean, we _are_ practically the babies of the army," he pointed out. "There are only, like, two dozen people from each original group who get a real shot at making it to the next round."

"Because of the magitek soldiers they're producing?" she asked, watching a small girl step into the square, sleek, curved daggers clutched in hand. She was quick, ruthless. _Sloppy_. Graves knocked her to the ground on only the first move and everyone cringed for her. The girl gritted her teeth and got back up, ready to prove herself.

"Probably, yeah." Gray's pale green eyes followed the battle as he spoke, absorbing the techniques and subtle adjustments of both fighters with great interest. "I heard there's a crazy scientist out there who's been making clones into those soldiers for years."

"What?" Kara frowned, entirely confused by his words. Clones? Of what, himself? From what she'd heard, he was just a crazy old coot. Why would he want to make copies of himself and turn them into killer _robots_? "That doesn't make any sense."

"Perhaps I'm missing a few details, then," he admitted, shaking his head. "All I know is that something about those _things_ used to be human."

"That's terrifying."

"Isn't it?" He looked down at her, shaking his head. "I can't imagine what that transformation is like."

"Will that... happen to us?"

"I'm not sure that's how it works," he reassured her with a grin. She smiled back half-heartedly, nodding. _Right. How silly of me._

"Kara Highwind."

Her heart stopped and her smile immediately melted off her face. Taking a deep breath and ignoring the stares of her peers, she called a wooden spear to her hand, stepping into the designated fighting space. The girl with the daggers passed by her, wiping her bloody nose on the back of her hand and accepting a wrist bump from her friend.

Graves scoffed at the sight of the weapon and Kara felt her determination return tenfold. Just as with Gray, she ran forward without warning and Kara batted her off with the long shaft of the polearm, turning its well-known weight over in her hands to block the commander's second attack that came swiftly after. Graves stepped back, giving her a quick once-over.

"Attack me."

Kara took a deep breath and rushed at her commander, swinging the head of her spear in an upright position so that she had to block the shaft and planting her feet to push back as hard as she could with gritted teeth. It knocked Graves back a few steps. She recovered from her stumble quickly enough to block the next swing from the other direction and used her shield to block the girl's finishing jab. Light on her feet, Kara bounced back a few paces, waiting. Graves arched an eyebrow.

"Did I tell you to stop?" Kara's heart sank with dread, aching. Graves eyed her spear once more. "Following your father, I see. Can you jump yet?"

"What?" Kara frowned, thrown off by her sharp tone.

" _Jump_ , Kara. Can you jump yet?"

"No, not yet. I plan to practice more after—"

"Planning to practice doesn't get you anywhere. Sharing your father's blood doesn't mean you share his talent." She clasped her spear nervously, pressing the pole to her body as a sort of shield from Graves's humiliating wrath. Her eyes turned from Kara's to the crowd. "Lis Borne."

"Hey, don't take it too hard," Gray assured her as she rejoined his side, head hanging to hide her reddened face. "She just wants you to succeed."

"She hates me, Gray," she scoffed, crossing her arms. _What if that was the final straw? What if I'm cut now?_ "I don't know what I did."

"She doesn't hate you," he huffed, patting her lower back gently with his hand. her heart fluttered despite the circumstances. "I think she just wants you to realize whose legacy you're trying to go up against."

"I'm not going up against anything," she replied sourly. "And I know full well who my father was."

"I know you do. I have faith in you." He nodded, smiling gently. "If anyone can do it, it's you. Heck, I didn't even _try_ using my father's spear. It's a tough weapon to master, but once you get the hang of it, there's no beating you."

"And you think I can do it?"

He beamed; she choked on air. "I _know_ you can. Just give it time; you'll get there!"

 _Why's he **so**... _Kara shook her head with a sigh, watching a girl with pale brunette hair positively fail to compete with the skill level of the others they'd seen fight. _Perfect? Is that the right word?_ She gnawed on the inside of her cheek. _Maybe._ Lis burst into tears, scrambling to her feet after Graves knocked her down again. Someone in the crowd cheers her on; the commander shut them up immediately.

"If she can't handle it, she shouldn't be here. She needs to accept the consequences for her laziness."

"She trained harder than anyone here," Gray muttered, frowning with genuine concern for the girl as she pushed past the others to hurry home, doomed to a life of normalcy. _That doesn't sound half bad right now._

They watched cadet after cadet follow simple commands to show off their base skills in battle. Some ran off like Lis and others stepped aside, proud of their accomplishments, as Gray did. Finally, the same whistle pierced the air and they moved aside, a much smaller unit than they once were. Gray stayed close to her side and they watched the sweaty faces of the cadets at the endurance station rotate uneasily. _This is the hard part, I guess._

It wasn't all that bad, other than the constant burn in her muscles and the ache in her bones. Gray's reassurances that she was nearly there helped an incredible amount. She set her eyes on _that_ prize, the one before her that shined with bright green eyes and a brilliant smile. _We can do it._

The final test passed quickly, and Gray pulled her to her feet after she laid on the ground to catch her breath for a moment. She uneasily followed the rest of the cadets toward the place where they usually lined up. Graves whistled, waving them over. In a confused mess, the cadets gathered before her like frightened children. Mairi clung to Kara's elbow with sweaty hands and Aloc swayed anxiously, fists jammed into his pockets. Kara closed her eyes for a moment. _Please let us through._

Graves stared into each pair of eyes in dead silence as if she was making sure she had everyone she wanted present. Kara glanced to her left to see that Leo and Gray didn't look anxious at all, always so confident in their own abilities. Startled at the sound of Graves clearing her throat, she brought her full attention back to the commander.

"I feel as though this is obvious, but if I saw you're name, you're in. Congratulations. If I don't, I want no trouble. Leave and you won't have to deal with the army." _She's serious._ "Gray Harvey." _Of course he's the first one she announces._ Kara forced a thin-lipped smile and accepted his shoulder-nudge as a replacement for a hug. _Wouldn't want to cause a scene_.

"Leonard Fortis."

She knew the pressure was on when Aloc couldn't even mock Leo's name.

Graves listed names one by one, and with each cheer or excited grin, Kara got sweatier, redder, and shakier. _She's not going to call my name, is she?_ Aloc looked about to faint when he heard his name, throwing an arm around Leo's shoulders and shaking him. Mairi cried out, clasping her hands over her mouth when people turned to stare.

Kara stood waiting with her fists balled at her sides and her eyes dead set on Graves's stern face. She hadn't looked at her once. Their eyes finally met and her heart did backflips of hope. She looked away so quickly that the meeting appeared to have been a mistake and spoke another name. Her stomach churned and she began to feel feverish. _You're kidding me..._

"And, because Lis gave up on her own, I've moved down the list of possibilities." Her heart sank and she felt the lump in my throat grow harder. Graves's eyes bore into hers and her chest tightened.

"You'd better not disappoint me, Kara."

"Yes!"

Kara wheezed, burying her face in her hands and falling onto her knees, laughing with relief crushing her lungs. Gray chuckled, kneeling to make sure she was okay after her legs slammed into the hard ground. Mairi squealed, hopped up on nervous energy, and threw her arms around her, squeezing tight. The crowd dissipated the perfect mixture of disappointment and excitement.

"She hates my guts," Kara cried, still laughing uncontrollably.

"Yeah, she does," Leo scoffed, crossing his arms. "What was that all about?

"I don't know."

"Next time just hit her back twice as hard," Mairi retorted, rolling her dark eyes. "Lop her head off!"

"Maybe not _that_ ," Kara snorted, dragging herself to her feet. Spinning around, she saw that Wyn and his troop were nowhere to be found. "He must've gone home already!"

"Who, your brother?" Aloc asked, elbowing Mairi. "The _hottie?"_ They snickered together, heads lowered.

"Whatever." Kara rolled her eyes, hurrying down the stairs back to the city. "I'm off to find him! See you all tomorrow?"

Leo eyed Gray with disdain, ever the skeptic. "Yeah... Maybe."

Unfazed, Kara picked up the pace and ran home, heart singing. She couldn't wipe the stupid grin off her face, overjoyed at her second chance. Not only was she able to carry her father's legacy on her back for just a while longer, but she was also able to keep up her end of the bargain with Ravus. Even if she hadn't made it, she was certain she would have found a way. There was no way she would let him down, ever, if she could help it. The Imperials needed to pay for what they'd done.

She slowed to a walk outside her house, feeling her heart sink. A frown overtook her face and she stared at the crowd of cadets uneasily. Six of them stood outside, stone-faced, looking inward. The front door was open and Wyn was nowhere to be seen. Forgetting her joy, Kara hurried toward the door. None of the soldiers tried to stop her, simply standing in silence as she wove around them. Inside, however, someone gripped her shoulder, startling her.

"Kara, get out."

"Why?" she demanded, turning to see Ravus staring down at her with his sharp eyes. She planted her hands on her hips, trying to listen for noise inside. "Where's Wyn? What's he doing?"

"Nothing you need to be concerned with," he replied, glancing over her head momentarily.

She heard a muffled cry and turned to look, curious and concerned. He held her in place, trying to wrestle her out of her own home. Gritting her teeth, she struggled free, rushing inside and ignoring his shouts of protest. She hurried through the kitchen to the living room, stopping dead in her tracks when she saw a crowd inside, too.

Suddenly, she couldn't breathe, feeling trapped. Wyn's eyes met hers, startled, and his sergeant's smug look curled into a sneer. Kneeling on the floor was their mother, pale eyes wide and lips trembling. Her hands shook as she raised them to fruitlessly shield her face from the gun that was pressed to her head.

Wyn's eyes flashed from horrified to angry in a split second. "Whatare you _doing_ here?!" Kara's mouth was too dry to reply. "Get out!"

"No, it's alright," Wyn's sergeant sneered, cocking his gnarled, bald head to the right. "Let her watch. If she truly wants to follow you up the ranks, she must know what she's in for."

"What are you doing?" she dared to ask in a trembling voice, unable to fully process the scene before her. "Wyn?"

"What he must," the sergeant replied, crossing his arms. He turned his single beady eye to her brother. "Are you going to obey your orders or not, Iterum?"

"Kara," Wyn said sternly, his eyes begging her to leave. "You shouldn't have to see this."

"Why are you doing it, then?!" she demanded, panicked. "Surely there's another way!"

"Obey, Iterum."

"I..." Wyn's eyes fell to the floor, unable to look at his mother as she sobbed on the carpet, never imagining that her own beloved son would be her demise. _Just this morning we were all okay, now..._

"Wyn, don't," Kara snapped, her resolve crumbling as her eyes filled with tears. His were watery when he raised the gun again, dead-set on the center of their mother's forehead. They both knew he had no choice " _Wyn!"_

"I have to!" he shouted back, gritting his teeth. "Mother, I—"

"Just do it," she snapped, staring up at him with cold eyes. "And don't you _dare_ hurt her again."

"Mother—"

" _Obey."_

"Wyn..." Kara pleaded a final time, choking on her tightened throat. Wyn bit down hard on his trembling lip and his brow furrowed. He'd made up his mind. "Wyn, don't—"

She was cut off by the deafening crack of his gun—just one shot. She didn't realize she'd hit the ground until her face was pressed to the floor and the rough carpet rubbed away at the skin on her cheeks. Her fingers dug into the threads as she choked, tugging hard enough to burn her knuckles, but it was nothing in comparison to the pain of watching her mother's head jerk back, to seeing the blood and the brains splatter over the couch and the life leave her shining eyes.

"Iterum, Cleary, clean up this mess."

"Yes, sir."

"No! Don't take her!" she screamed, scrambling across the floor on her hands and knees.

"Restrain the girl."

Two hands gripped her wrists, restraining her arms. Ravus dragged her to her feet, forcing her back into the rough surface of his uniform. She kicked, screaming, and somehow, he stilled her legs as well. Finally, when she had no strength left, she watched her brother and his fellow soldier lift her mother's body into a black bag as if she simply died in her sleep, leaning her head back against Ravus's shoulder. She wanted to escape, but behind her eyelids, she saw the scene replay on loop.

Cleary grabbed the knitted blanket off the chair across the room and threw it across the gore on the couch. Their sergeant motioned with his hand and Ravus released her, letting her plop unceremoniously onto the floor. She turned her head to see if Wyn was still there; she caught a glimpse of his back as he fled.

When the door closed, she dissolved again, throwing herself against the ground and sobbing until was nothing left of her. Their home used to be so warm, a place where Mother knitted and bandaged their wounds and made playful jabs at her father. Where Wyn taught her how to climb trees and she showed him all the little hideouts she found while exploring the forest alone. Where she came after training and knew that no matter what, someone was willing to listen to her complaints about the pain they suffered for this. There was nothing left but the skeleton of the family they once were and the world they once inhabited.

Kara got to her feet only to curl up in her mother's bed, half-wishing that Wyn's leader would tell him to shoot her in the head, too. _It would make everything so much easier._ But there was another part of her that was already ignited the fire in her heart—the will to fight for another day. She couldn't—she wouldn't—rest until the Imperials had been punished for what they'd done and paid for every soul they'd stolen. She didn't care if Wyn was her or against her. They would suffer. And if her brother stood in her way, so be it.

She would knock him down.


	5. Coming to Terms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Always Tired by Weathers  
> ^^ 100% a song Prompto has on a playlist somewhere

_The walls were hot and slippery with condensation. Her fingers ran over the droplets, watching them roll down the tiles like the tears rolling down her cheeks. They connected into a strange pattern—they always did. She tried to read the designs between pools of tears, to find promises of a better future. Between quivering sobs, she prayed for love and hope and freedom. Delusion was her purgatory; loneliness was her hell._

* * *

"Hey, are you feeling alright?" Mairi asked, running up to Kara's side. Kara took a deep breath, keeping her eyes on the ground. Her new uniform was tight on her shoulders and hips, loose on her waist and her legs. The material was rough, rubbing her skin raw. _I'll have to wear longer sleeves beneath it tomorrow_. "Hey, I'm talking to you!"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Kara snapped, scowling at her friend.

Rolling her eyes, Mairi crossed her arms. Irritability wasn't in Kara's nature, and she wasn't about to let her get away with lies. "I'm _sure._ What are you hiding?"

"It's nothing," Kara sighed.

She felt sick, remembering the pale skin, the dead eyes, the quivering lips of her mother. A cold sweat broke out across her skin, and for a moment, she thought she might faint. None of Wyn's unit was there on the training grounds. She wondered where he was, and her body heated with hatred.

"It doesn't look like nothing. You look half dead."

"Gee, thanks." She kicked at a stone on the path and headed toward the woods. "Wanna go back to that waterfall?"

"Sure," Mairi shrugged, brushing her blunt bangs out of her eyes. "Can the guys come?"

"I expected them to."

Mairi jerked her head toward Leo and Aloc as she and Kara headed their way. As per usual, Aloc laughed with his head thrown back and Leo looked irritated by his mere existence. Kara's heart skipped when she saw Gray following them, his head lowered and his hands jammed into the pockets of the sweatshirt he threw over his uniform. For a moment, she forgot.

But only for a moment.

"Where're you ladies headed?" Aloc greeted, throwing an arm around Mairi's shoulders. She shrugged him off, raising an eyebrow.

"The waterfall."

" _Oh!_ Is that our new hideout?" he teased, elbowing Leo. His friend rolled his eyes, obviously unhappy about Gray's presence. "Is the new guy coming?"

"If I'm invited," Gray replied with a smile. "Unless it's _too_ confidential."

"It's not a _secret_ hideout," Kara pointed out. Mairi gritted her teeth.

"Yeah, not if every person on the planet knows where it is because of your big mouth."

Her words struck a chord and Kara frowned, letting her gaze fall once more. An uncomfortable stillness overtook the group until Aloc cleared his throat, always afraid of silence. She couldn't imagine; he went home to it every day. Her heart squeezed the air from her lungs. _I will now, too._

"Shall we?" he asked, starting toward the woods.

Avoiding Mairi's eyes, Kara followed, hugging her arms to her tired body. Gray walked silently at her side, hands buried in his pockets. The crunch of grass beneath their boots was loud enough for her to tell where everyone was. Mairi's steps were quick and heavy, fueled by impatience. Leo's were careless and loud, the steps of someone who's mind was on other things. Kara's were quick and short, in a hurry to run from reality. They all had their purposes and paths, and yet somehow, they all wound up there on that path into the woods.

Finally, they passed through the thick greenery and reached their oasis—the waterfall, the lake, the stones.

"Whoa. How'd you guys find this?" Gray asked, eyes flitting over their surroundings, absorbing.

"We just came across it," Aloc shrugged, quickly shedding his uniform. Gray raised an eyebrow, watching the others get undressed uneasily.

"It's not a nudity club, idiot," Mairi snapped playfully, folding her uniform up and setting it aside. "We're wearing clothes underneath. Aren't you?"

"Of course I am," he huffed, running a hand through the tight curls in his hair.

Kara crossed her arms, watching him shift his weight uncomfortably. "If you don't want to swim... let me show you something."

"Sure."

She turned and led the way down the steep rocky path, bracing herself against the stone as she climbed down the slick walkway. The pebbles crunched beneath her feet, shifting. Overhead, Aloc screamed as Leo shoved him over the cliff. Mairi laughed, high-fiving him. Aloc surfaced with a whoop, pushing his soaked hair out of his face. Fighting a small smile, Kara ducked her head and stepped behind the crashing waterfall. Gray followed without question, looking around in awe.

"This is _cool._ "

"Isn't it?" She sat down on the wet rocks, not caring that the water soaked through her clothes. He looked over his shoulder to watch the water pour into the pond for a moment. "I love it here."

"I'm happy you showed me."

"..." She pressed her lips together, toying with her hair absently. "Listen... I'm really sorry that they're so rude. I don't know why they're being like that. You're not a bad guy."

"Nah, it's okay." He sat beside her, grinning. "You don't have to apologize for them. They're not so bad themselves."

"No? Leo hates your guts."

"Yeah, well, he's entitled to his opinion."

"Right," she scoffed. She wanted to laugh, to blush, to push his shoulder playfully. But she couldn't.

Instead of lightening, her heart sank heavily, as though it had been tied to cannonballs and tossed into the depths of the sea. A lump gathered in her throat when she realizes she wouldn't be going home to the smell of dinner and a request to hear about her day. The comfort of Mother's hug. The warmth of her smile. Gray frowned when he saw tears pooling in her eyes.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"I can't say," she choked out, hugging her knees to her chest. "I just... can't talk about it."

"Too hard?"

"... Yeah."

"I'm sorry." Gray sighed, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. "I wish I could help."

"Me too." Kara scrubbed at her eyes, sniffling. " _I'm_ sorry. I'm a big baby."

"Obviously something bad happened if you're this upset," he pointed out. "You're no _baby_ , Kara."

"It's just..." She shook her head. "Do you ever just feel... _alone?_ Even with everyone that's around you?"

"All the time." His voice was filled with such honesty that she was rendered speechless for a moment.

"Really?" she finally asked.

"Yeah. I get it. There are just some things that no one will ever understand, and that can be tough." He shrugged his shoulders half-heartedly, twisting his head to look at her. "It's hard not to feel isolated. But that's the thing, I guess. Everyone has that stuff. No one's alone."

"Except some people." She didn't have to explain for him to understand.

"Except some people."

"What's goin' on back here, lovebirds?" Aloc dragged himself into the cave, wringing his hair out. He nearly slipped on the rocks, laughing as he righted his balance and padded toward them.

"Just talking," Gray answered.

"What about?" He wiggled his eyebrows and shot Kara a wink. "Titties?"

"Aloc," she huffed, rolling her eyes.

Gray laughed nervously. "Uh, no."

"Bet you wanna, though, lover boy," Aloc taunted, coming closer and rubbing his chest with his hands. "Bet you wanna get a handful of K—"

"Kara, you have a visitor," Mairi cut in, poking her head into the cave. She looked anxious, playing with her fingers. Her long black hair dripped water onto the ground, forming a shallow puddle that reflected the falls.

"What?" Kara stood, confused.

Mairi pressed her lips together, glancing over her shoulder and stepping into the cave. A towering figure followed her, eyes sharp and cold. Kara swallowed hard, glancing at Gray. His eyebrows were raised, surprised.

"I wish to speak with you," the young man said, eying her friends with sharp eyes. "Alone."

"Go on," Kara said dryly, unable to tear her eyes away from him. Remembering the last time she saw him made her stomach clench and her heart ache. "I'll just be a moment."

"You sure?" Aloc asked, sizing the man up. "I don't want to leave you alone with this _dick._ He probably stinks from kissing royal ass all day long."

"Have some respect," Gray snapped, startling the others. His gentle nature was no longer at the forefront; he was playing his strong cards in front of their prince. "Let's go."

"Who made you in charge?" Aloc countered, defiant.

Kara turned to shoot him an admonishing look. "Aloc, you're practically naked. You're not staying. Get out."

"Oh, you think _His Majesty_ gives a shit about nudity?" Aloc scoffed, but he listened, refusing to look away from the man until he was too far out of the cave to see. Finally, they were alone.

"Why do you associate with that kind?" Ravus asked, his voice as pompous as his words.

" _That_ _kind_?" Kara repeated sharply. "You're joking, aren't you?" Her hands balled into fists at her sides. "You have the _nerve_ to let Wyn k—do what he did to my mother..." She swallowed hard, unable to stop the tears that overflowed and ran down her cheeks, dripping off her chin. She choked on the lump in her throat, trying to find her words. "And then you _follow_ me and insult the _only_ people who are willing to speak to care?"

"I only meant that you don't need them," he replied coolly.

"Why are you here?" she demanded, trembling with anger.

Ravus raised a pale eyebrow, scowling. "I just needed to make sure you haven't decided the deal is off."

" _Seriously?!"_ Her hands flew to her hair, tugging at the roots. "Ravus, _yes_ the deal is on! That's _all_ you care about?!" She threw an accusing finger out toward the water. "My parents are _dead!_ My own _brother's_ turned on me! I'm _alone,_ Ravus!"

"And how do you think I've lived all these years?" he demanded, stepping toward her. He hardly looked fazed by her anger, convinced his suffering was greater than anyone else's.

"Your family didn't betray you, Ravus," Kara argued. "It was the _enemy._ That's what the enemy does. That's not what people you _love_ are supposed to do." She shuddered, brows pinched together tightly. "Why didn't you stop him, Ravus?" Her voice was weak, pleading like a child's. Her shoulders shook with her choking sobs. _I hate myself._ "Why didn't you...?"

Ravus's jaw worked tightly, his eyes falling to the slippery cave floor. "I couldn't. These are the steps we had to take to get further."

"But you didn't—"

"He made up his own mind," Ravus interrupted. "I did nothing to affect his decision. He chose just as you did."

"And who will _I_ kill?" she shouted through her tears, getting worked up. Her anger transformed into biting anxiety that dug its claws into her back and refused to let go no matter how hard she shook. " _Wyn?"_ Ravus sighed. "I can't do this! He may have betrayed me, but I can't—"

"They questioned his loyalty because of his attitude. That is why his trial was extreme." His eyes were reassuring for once. "If you remain with these cadets and maintain your hard work, yours will be far easier."

"Ravus..." Another shudder rattled her bones. "Is this all even worth it? In the end, they always win." More tears spilled. "They always..."

She gave up, collapsing to the floor and caught in the tides of a future she never wanted. She heard him sit beside her, felt the warmth of his hand on her back, saw the shadow his broad shoulders cast across the floor. Her body trembled terribly with every breath, aching from the lack of air and the weight of the world. Ravus took a deep breath, thinking carefully before speaking.

"They only win if you let them. These are all our own moves against them that they read as their successes. As long as they think they're in the lead, we're ahead." He paused. "Understand?"

"That's how my father used to play chess," she replied quietly, running a finger through the water on the stone. "Lure me into a false sense of security and then trap me."

"Precisely." He was quiet for a moment. "But this is far longer. This is a _war_ we're fighting, after all. Perhaps through this, we'll tackle the issue of Regis as well."

"I hope so," she sniffed, wiping her face off with her sleeve. Ashamed, she felt her face go red. "Ravus... Is Wyn alright?"

"I thought you hated him."

"I do," she insisted. "But... he's all I have left."

"That's not true." She twisted her head around to look up at him. He was frowning. "You have these people for the present, and you have me for the future. What you choose to do with your _personal_ baggage is your choice, but you can't let it get in the way."

"That's all she is, now? Baggage?" She tucked her hair behind her ear, redirecting her attention. Crying would her no good. "Is that how you do it?"

"Yes, that's... how most do it."

"Okay. I'll try." She sat up and watched the water tumble from the falls overhead to the pond. "Wyn?"

"Wyn is..." Ravus closed his eyes, sighing. "Struggling."

"I can imagine," she muttered, propping her chin up with her palm. "Where is he?"

"Staying at the Manor. He rightfully decided not to return home."

"How long will he be gone?" Her voice trembled and she gritted her teeth. She hated him for what he'd done, for who he'd become, but she couldn't help but pity his pain. He chose to obey, but those were orders he was following. Even Kara knew he hardly had a choice if he wanted to fight—to live.

"... I don't know. Perhaps forever."

She nodded, picking at the mud on the bottom of her boot. "I miss seeing Luna."

"I do, too."

"You don't get to?" She frowned, looking up at him. Solemnly, he shook his head. "Why not?"

"The Empire wants us to focus on our separate paths," he explained, though he sounded bitter. "She lives as the Oracle and I train as a soldier. They hardly see a reason for us to cross paths."

"That's a load of bull," she huffed.

He raised an eyebrow. "That's a strong expression for you."

"Don't like it?"

"I don't mind."

"Ravus." She twisted around to face him fully, gnawing on her lip nervously. "I know this is a lot to ask of you, but... could you perhaps visit every once in a while?" He frowned and she hurried to explain. "It's just... being alone in that house is a _nightmare._ "

"It hadn't been that long."

"And I know it won't get better," she countered. "My father died and I haven't stopped reliving that death for three years. And now mother... I don't have Wyn anymore. I know they won't stop haunting me and I know you can't help that, but I..." Her voice trailed off, unable to find more words.

"I understand," he nodded. "However, I..." His brow furrowed and he glanced toward the entrance of the cave. "You can request a place to stay in the Manor, can't you?"

"They won't grant it, you know that. Half the cadets out there have horrible memories and nightmares—they expect us to be strong enough to handle it." Desperate, she leaned forward and rested her hand on his arm. "Please, Ravus. I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important. I'll stand by you no matter what, but if I'm to succeed—"

"Fine," he sighed, glancing down at her hand.

"I have something for us to work on so that we don't have to sit in silence," she continued, elated with his agreement. He raised an eyebrow, amused at the prospect of her sitting and _not_ speaking. "You can train me to fight."

"Absolutely not."

"Wait, seriously?" she huffed, turning sharply to sit in front of him. "Why not? You're the best fighter I know!"

"You've never seen me fight," he muttered, uncomfortable with her closeness.

"Okay, but I'm _sure_ you're great. Why won't you teach me?"

"Weapons differences, to start." Ravus's eyes flickered back toward the water. _He's either scared they're listening or he really wants to leave._ "Besides, I don't think we're authorized to—"

"Ravus, since when do you care about their rules?" she demanded, scowling. If she wasn't so _tired,_ she might've caused a scene to guilt him into helping her.

"I thought we were supposed to be earning their trust," he argued.

"Yeah, but no one ever _honestly_ got into a place of power," she scoffed. "Listen, I don't care if they get angry, we can just pretend we didn't know."

"I doubt that would work."

"Then we won't get caught."

Ravus heaved a sigh and shook his hair out of his eyes. The younger cadets had specific guidelines regarding hair length, but once they started to prove ourselves, the rules relaxed a touch. She eyed the shaggy, pale strands framing his face. His bones were sharper than she remembered, his shoulders broader and his height increasing by the day. He'd come a long way from the boy she shook hands with three years ago. _And he didn't say no._

"So... You'll do it?" He didn't answer, staring hard at the ground. His jaw worked as he thought. Kara leaned forward, trying to catch his eye. "Ravus?"

"... I will."

"Thank you!"

Without a second thought, she sprung up onto her knees and threw her arms around him, squeezing tightly. It felt like it had been a century since she'd felt genuine happiness. _I suppose I take joy for granted these days._

"But," he continued, pulling away as soon as he could. "If there's any chance of us being caught, I will stop, and you will not argue. Understood?"

"Understood."

She quickly got to her feet and dusted her clothes off, trying to bury the sinking feeling that she'd be alone again in the warmth in her chest. But the heart is a fickle thing, and she could already feel it cooling off. Sighing, she crossed her arms and glanced at the falls.

"I guess we should let the fools back in. Thank you for stopping by, Ravus."

"Of course." He took a deep breath, starting to walk. Struck by something, he stopped. "... Thank you for your time."

"Any time," she said—and she meant it.


	6. Priorities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wishful Thinking by BENEE

_In her head, there was music. Short, choppy notes followed by long, sweeping ones, each following her movements. The dance was a joy, one she'd repeated many, many times. No two dances were the same even if her partner never changed. He swung and she parried, gracefully stepping away and throwing out a shield to distract him from the blow on the other side. This wasn't his first dance, either. The force of his defense sent her twirling, hair flowing behind in golden waves as she sailed toward the ground._

_In a heart-stopping act of showmanship, her partner tossed his blade aside to catch her. She catapulted upright and they stood, nose to nose, hearts pounding, eyes locked. The music slowed, a symphony of strings that took their time. When they cried out their last shrill notes, she closed the gap, smiling, and her partner complied._

* * *

"Good. It would be better if you stopped hesitating."

"I can't move and think at the same time!"

"Then you'll have to learn."

" _Ravus_."

Kara stepped back, dripping with sweat and gasping for air. Ravus stood a short distance away, waiting smugly with his sword in his calloused hand. _He's being difficult._ These training sessions were definitely more of a pain than she originally thought they would be, but they'd also been worth it. Ravus had been showing up four days a week for just under a month, and yet, she could feel the little adjustments in her technique, the strength building in her body. Her legs were quickly adapting to the new motions. Still, it was frustrating to be so far behind him, to always be tripping and swinging helplessly when she knew she was doing the absolute best she could.

Spent, she fell to the ground, crossing her legs and slumping forward. Her chin rested on her knuckles and she picked at the carpet with trembling fingers, remembering the bloodstains that were once beneath her.

"Have you given up?"

"For today, yeah."

"Is that what you'll tell the enemy as well?" She watched Ravus's shoes draw nearer, eyeing the splotches from the mud along the paths outside. Her hands fell into her lap. "That you're off the clock?" She jumped when the tip of his sword forced her face upward, pressed to her throat. "That you're _tired?_ "

"I'd be dead by now anyway," she scoffed, pushing the blade away with the back of her hand. He frowned, but his sword dissolved in compliance. With her shoulders slumped forward, she stared at the floor. "Will I ever be good enough?"

"You're already far above the skills of your peers," Ravus replied, resting his hands on his hips.

"Yeah, but even that's not good enough for Graves," she muttered.

"She doesn't like you, but she's impressed."

"How would you know?" she demanded, frowning. He didn't reply, turning his eyes to scan over her empty, dusty home. She asked every time, and the answer was always the same, but she figured she'd ask again anyway. "How's Wyn?"

"He's focused on his training."

"How's that going?"

"Well. He grows stronger every day."

"And Luna?"

"As far as I know, she's well."

"When will they let you see her?"

"The next rank." He finally looked back down at her. "If you're finished, I must leave."

"Can't you stay a little longer?" She asked this every time, too. He shook his head and headed toward the door.

"I'm expected at the Manor." _Like hell you are._

It was almost as if he feared friendship—as if having everything ripped from him dissuaded him from ever caring again. She almost felt bad for him. She would feel worse if his fears didn't affect her. And yet, there she was, ready to spend another night locked in her room because she couldn't stand the sight of her home without anyone else around. When Ravus was there, it was as if he was only visiting while Mother and Wyn searched the edge of the city for apple trees or pretty blossoms. When he left, she remembered the crack of the gun, Mother's empty blue eyes, Wyn's shouting. The blood.

There is nothing quite like loneliness.

"Okay, well." She forced herself to her feet and dusted her hands off. "Off you go, then."

Without another word, Ravus left her house through the back entrance. A shadow, gone just as quickly as he'd arrived. And Kara, without hesitation, headed immediately to her room and laid down on her back, staring up at the blank ceiling. _Alone._ She used to get irritated when Wyn would come knocking because he was bored. Now she'd give anything just to hear his voice—she'd even let him tease her for the rest of eternity. _Anything_ to have some company. _But it can't work like that. He's a traitor._

"Right," she sighed, kicking her shoes off the end of her bed and crossing her arms behind her head. He killed their mother to climb the ranks of the Imperials' favor. He wasn't content to say no, or to simply stay below Ravus—he couldn't be. He was a proud coward, flaunting his medals and his muscles. No wonder he was doing so well; he fit right in.

Kara jolted awake upon hearing rustling outside her door. Startled, she rolled to her feet and reached for her spear. As the familiar weight formed in her hand, she headed toward her door, heart pounding in her chest. Whoever was on the other side bumped into the counter with a grunt. For a moment, she dared to think it was Wyn and that he'd finally come home, but the thought angered more than it comforted.

Gritting her teeth, she threw her door open and thrust the spear forward, pressing the tip into the man's throat. Then she froze.

"You're not my brother," she blurted. Gray raised an eyebrow, glancing down at the spear.

"Uh, no. Sorry to disappoint."

"What're you doing here?" she asked, completely and utterly confused.

"Well..." He lifted a hand to reveal a crumpled paper bag. "I brought some treats…?"

"What?" Her spear dissipated into a wash of sparks and she drew nearer with curiosity. "What is it?"

"Can't we turn some lights on?" he asked, glancing up at the dark ceiling and holding the bag away from her.

"No." She couldn't help but glance back at the faded bloodstains in the carpet. By now, everyone knew what happened in her home, but no one had said anything to her about it. The pitying looks in their eyes were enough. "But we can go to my room."

"… Okay."

Kara turned and led the way to the open door to her room, flicking the dim lights on. The curtains were already drawn tight to hide her from outside, so she didn't have to worry about anyone seeing her surprise visitor. Gray closed the door behind him out of habit and waited for her to tell him where to go. She sat on the bed cross-legged and patted the space on the mattress across from her. He sat obediently and she snatched the bag away, eager to see what he'd brought her. Warm steam rose from the opening when she unrolled the top and the scent of bread overwhelmed her. Her stomach gurgled.

"Mason's? How'd you _get_ this?"

"By going to Mason's," Gray retorted, laughing. "Figured you hadn't eaten."

"Why's that?" She reached into the bag and tossed one of the two small loaves at him. "Just out of curiosity."

"You told me," he reminded her, eyeing the bread in his hand. "You never eat dinner anymore. And _all_ of this is for you."

"Oh c'mon, I can't eat all of it and it's not nearly as good when it's cooled off. Have some."

"I thought you'd want to be alone," he admitted sheepishly.

Kara shook her head quickly, turning her warm meal over and over in her hands. "Of course not. Stay a little longer." She took a big bite out of the bread, slumping her shoulders as the delicious meal filled her senses. _Wonderful._ Gray watched with delight in his favor before taking a bit of his own bread, sighing.

"Really is the best shit in Tenebrae."

"You're telling _me_ ," she groaned and threw her head back. He laughed, lowering his face to hide the blush creeping into his cheeks.

"Okay, maybe not _that_ good."

"No?" She smiled as well as she could and gobbled down her meal, not realizing how hungry she was until she took her first bite. Gray took his a little slower, grinning when she choked on the last bite.

"You're gonna hurt yourself."

"I'm fine," she insisted, squeezing her eyes shut as they watered and made her vision blurry.

"What do you do here all by yourself every night?"

"Oh, uh…" She had to stop herself from unloading her secret training with Ravus, fearing for both of their positions. Instead, she brushed the crumbs off her lap and shrugged. "Nothing really. Just lay here until I fall asleep."

"Really?" His frown made her anxious.

"Well, yeah. Unless I'm out with you and everyone else, but we're only allowed out until dusk so…" She shrugged again. "There's not much else to do."

"Yeah, I guess not." He leaned forward, pressing his elbows into his knees. "I could always keep you company."

"Oh." Kara choked again, her face going red. _Not like_ ** _that._** Still, she couldn't help but wish he would stay. _But the blood…_ She shook her head. "No, really. I'm okay by myself. Kinda like it better if I'm honest."

"Better than…?"

"When Wyn was here." _Now_ ** _that_** _is a blatant lie._ And she knew he could see right through it, eyeing her with curiosity he usually left out of his expressions. "I mean… I don't know." She huffed, rubbing her face, flustered. _Why are you here_ _ **now?**_

"It's okay," he assured her. "Whatever floats your boat." _He doesn't believe me._

"What do you do?" she asked, turning the attention off her. He was happy to comply.

"Nothing really. I guess what you do. Never thought about it."

"Guess we're just a pair of lame-o's then, huh."

"Yeah." He smiled. "A pair of…" His voice trailed off and he shook his head. His eyes met hers, earnest and sincere. "Are you sure you don't want me to keep you company? I don't mind."

"I'm okay, really." She hesitated, glancing away for a moment. "Unless… you're lonely." _And you choose_ _ **me.**_

"Bored, more like." _Oh._ She tried to ignore the sinking of her heart.

"Yeah, me too." She traced the pattern on her covers, staring absently at her long, thick curtains. "I suppose I really am bored."

"Same." He puffed out a short, impatient breath and fell dramatically onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. Kara made a point of looking away, feeling her face go red when she caught him watching her. "What do you want to do?"

"I… don't know."

"Should we go out to the living room?"

"No," she blurted, quick to cover herself. "No, I mean… I don't know." With a sigh, she shook her head and rested it in her palm, wincing when her elbow dug too deep into her thigh. He frowned, sitting up.

"What's wrong?" he asked, sitting up slowly.

"Nothing, I just…" She took a deep breath. "I don't let anyone see it."

"Why…?"

"Just because." Gray frowned, leaning forward to catch her eye. _Don't look._ For a split second, she met his gaze before tearing it away to look intently at the wall. _Don't say it._ "It's covered in my mother's blood."

"What?"

"From when Wyn—" She couldn't get herself to say the words, so she shook her head instead. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Hey." Gray leaned close enough that she could smell whatever soap he'd used in his curly hair. "Look at me." She obeyed, starting to sweat. "I shouldn't have asked."

"You couldn't have known."

"I should've guessed." He cocked his head to the side, grinning. "Not everyone has to deal with that shit—you're strong as hell."

"You think?" Her voice could hardly break a whisper; she hoped he didn't notice.

"Sure." He laughed, shaking his head. His green eyes sparkled with a life she hadn't seen from anyone in a long time. "I bet that's why Graves is such a pain in the ass."

"I think she just hates me."

"Nah, she's jealous." She laughed at his persistence and couldn't help but look over at him again.

"Of what?" she dared to ask. He cracked a soft smile. The way his eyes flitted over her face gave her goosebumps. _Shit._

"Of _you_ , silly," he teased. She rolled her eyes, trying to ease the tension, but it didn't let up. "You're a hell of a lot braver than she is."

"I doubt it."

"You, as a twelve-year-old girl without any battle experience whatsoever, ran out to the battlefield insistent on saving well-worn warriors," he pointed out, laughing. She rolled her eyes, unable to help her smile.

"That was years ago."

"You're the still the same girl."

"And _you're_ the same boy that got his trousers caught on a fence, squealing like a rodent until my dad came and let you off," she accused. He rolled his eyes at that.

"I'm different now." Under his breath, he grumbled, "Lost my pants to that damn fence…"

"I doubt it."

"Wouldn't _you_ squeal if I hung you on a fence?"

"I'd find a way down," she insisted. He scoffed, turning to face her further. His hand moved to support him, touched hers, and flinched away.

"Sorry."

"Why? Scared of cooties?"

"Something like that," he muttered. "Anyway, back to my point. You're an incredible girl, Kara. Don't forget that." Kara sighed, picking at her blanket nervously. _He's so close… No, don't do it. Gods on high, do_ _ **not.**_

"You really think so?" _I'm going to._

"Would I lie to you?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. _Control yourself, dammit. Don't do it._

She did it anyway. Kara pressed her lips together, toying with the idea for half a second longer before deciding to defy her inner sense of reason. Taking risks is part of learning—she needed to know. _You're an incredible girl, Kara._ She could see it in his eyes; it was right. She killed the lingering tension and closed the gap, perhaps kissing him a bit _too_ hard at first. Still, he hesitated—he didn't think she'd take the challenge. _Didn't you just call me brave, Gray Harvey?_

But then he pushed back, the first to make real contact. Her heart _hurt_ from pounding so hard, squeezing with fear and hope at the same time. She was scared to pull away, but she did, afraid to puff bread flavored air in his face. Soon, she learned that wouldn't matter.

"Wow," he huffed, his lips parting into a smile. Kara's face went bright red and she shoved him playfully.

"What?" she demanded. Embarrassed, she started to pull away. _I shouldn't have._ He shook his head, holding her arm gently and pulling her back.

"I just didn't expect…" He wrestled with his teasing grin. "Not complaining."

"No?" Kara smiled, mustering a bit of her notorious courage and brushing his curly hair out of his eyes.

"Not at all."


	7. So Soon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> C'est La Vie by Weathers  
> ^ Accidentally stumbled upon this while editing this chapter, very pleased

"You have to stop seeing him."

Kara spent several seconds choking her drink of water before she was able to reply. "Excuse me?"

Ravus didn't look up from his sword, tracing a gloved finger along its dangerous edge slowly. "You'll get caught and punished."

"I don't know who you're talking about, Ravus," she insisted, though her face was going red. "Aloc? _Leo_?"

"You know damn well who I mean," he snapped, glaring up at her. Her mouth snapped shut, and she stared down at her lap. "Need I spell it out? Half of this city knows you're sleeping with that boy Gray Harvey."

Kara's face was hot even before he accused her. She slid off her seat on the counter's edge, picking at her fingers. "I'm not—" She tried to play dumb again, but his scowl got the better of her.

"Why else would a teenage boy be sneaking in and out of here every night?"

"Because he's my friend and he keeps me company!" she argued defensively. Ravus scoffed, shaking his head.

"I'm no fool, Kara."

"I didn't say you were."

"Then am I lying?"

"No! I—"

"Then quit," he interrupted. His temper was beginning to get the better of him and it was frightening. She almost wanted to see how far she could push him, but that wasn't the time. "Quit while you're ahead."

"Why?!" she demanded. "It's _my_ life, Ravus, so _please,_ enlighten to me as to why I should care about your input."

"Because I'm here, risking my neck so that you're not cut for your dissatisfactory skills," he snarled back, eyes cold. _Ouch._

"Well then, if everyone's so _observant,_ how do they know _you're_ not sleeping with me, too?"

"They don't. If he's caught, then I'm caught as well." _I thought he'd at least reel in disgust at the thought for a moment._

Kara shook her head. "Then I won't let him get caught."

"You don't understand." Ravus stood, letting his sword vanish. He crossed his arms, the belts on his uniform clinking with every motion. "I'm not training you anymore, not until he's out for good."

" _What_?"

"I'm not putting myself in danger for your petty entertainment."

"It's not _entertainment,_ Ravus, it's a relationship. Ever heard _that_ word before?"

"I stand by what I said." He started toward the door, standing tall and proud and…

" _Fine_!" Kara shouted, slamming her glass on the counter. "I don't need you anyway!" He didn't even appear to be listening. "I'll stick with the plan _and_ live my own damn life as I please! You'll see!" When he closed the door, she threw the glass at it with a frustrated scream, competing with its deafening shatter. _Why can't people just leave me_ _ **alone?**_

Angry, she left the glass shattered on the floor as a reminder and headed to the bathroom to shower off her sweat from training. _Stupid bastard… Wouldn't understand the concept of a friend if I shoved a dictionary in his face._ Still, she couldn't help but feel uneasy. Of course she was afraid that people would find out, but to learn that even _Ravus_ heard the gossip? It was only a matter of time before _Graves_ heard about it from a tattletale who wanted here kicked from the troop. _And then it's over._ She sighed, letting her forehead hit the wall with a dull thump. _At least he's not coming tonight. We can figure this out tomorrow._

The air was hot and humid. Hard to breathe in, heavy in their lungs. Kara couldn't tell if she was sticky with sweat or water; maybe it was a cocktail of both. Gritting her teeth under the pressure of Leo's sword, she slipped to the side, letting him stumble. She wasn't not stupid enough to rush in, though—Leo knew better than to let those tricks slide. He recovered quickly, clutching his sword in both hands and grinning. His eyes sparkled with light that proved he was enjoying himself far too much.

"C'mon, Kara. Show me Daddy's power!"

"Moron."

Rolling her eyes, Kara ran at him, rolling under the swing of his sword and raising the guard on her arm to block his next blow, watching the sparks illuminate his face in the shadows of the outdoor training center. Gritting her teeth, she pushed him back and wielded her spear like a monk's pole, striking his stomach. He doubled over, raising the flat side of his sword to block her with one hand, but she hit the back of his hand and made him release it. When he fumbled, she pressed a boot to his back and drove her polearm into his knee, forcing him forward. She used one foot to stand on his chest, lightly holding the tip of the spear to his neck. He laughed, breathless.

"Damn, don't think I ever saw him use that one."

"Y'know," she started, kicking him onto his back and reveling in his pained grunt. She crouched to his level, cocking her head to the side. "There _are_ some lines you don't cross."

"Yeah? Don't think I crossed any," he argued, but he grinned from ear to ear. Before she could torture him any further, Graves began to shout across the courtyard.

 _"I've seen my infant niece fight better than this!_ "

"Think she actually has a niece?" Leo asked, getting to his feet. Across the yard, Aloc fumbled with his sword, crying out as he ran from a girl named Lisa rather unsuccessfully. He was sprawled flat on his stomach in a matter of seconds, wheezing as she flipped him over like a hunted animal to press her knife to his throat.

"I really hope not." She crossed her arms, watching the crazed look in Lisa's eyes fade and a smug smile appear as she was praised. "And if she does, I hope she's not allowed within twenty feet of her. I have a feeling she's the type to shake crying infants."

"He's about to get his ass chewed out," Leo chuckled, resting a hand on his hip and using the other to shield his face from the glare of the sun bouncing off the weapons surrounding Aloc.

Normally, Graves might have screamed at him for letting a girl get the better of him, but this time, she dragged the boy to his feet, shot Leo and Kara a scowl, and headed to the top of the staircase leading to the training center for higher-level soldiers that lined the lower outskirts of Fenestala Manor. _Is she heading up to survey the others?_

Their commander stopped at the top, arms crossed and feet spread wide, her weather-worn face cast with shadows from the harsh lines on her skin as she faced the light of the sun. Its brightness faded as clouds swept past, washing the world in gray. Kara shuddered without its warmth; the woman even had the power to scare the sun away. _Maybe she's the Starscourge incarnate._

"Cadets!" she barked. Obedient little dogs that they were, they all gathered at the base of the stairs, murmuring amongst themselves. Leo and Kara exchanged looks before following, quick to find Mairi and Aloc.

"What's going on?" Aloc hissed, his face flushed red. "Guys, she was _nice_ to me."

"Something's up," Kara huffed, crossing her arms and trying to find Gray in the crowd. "She looks too damn _smug_ for today."

"Maybe she got dicked down," Mairi grumbled, standing on her toes to peer over the group. "Dammit, I can't _see._ "

"I need Steiner, Harvey, and Smithstone up here now!" Graves shouted, and this time, she sounded pissed. Kara's heart skipped a beat and she got on her toes, pushing on Leo's shoulder to lift herself higher.

"Gray?" Leo frowned, glancing at her. "Did he say anything about this?"

"No." She finally caught sight of him, watching as he joined the other two boys at the peak of the stairs.

"Any ideas what she's doing?"

"None."

"Not unless she wants to publicly humiliate them," Mairi scoffed, shaking her head. "But they're her little angels. She'd _never._ "

"Maybe she has something nice to say?" Aloc suggested. The tone of his voice told them that even _he_ didn't believe that one.

"These fine young gentlemen have proven to me that there's hope for the rest of you." Graves raised an eyebrow, smug. "Well, some of you." She jerked a thumb toward Gray, who scanned the crowd until he found Kara. He shook his head, just as confused as the rest of them. "The battle continues in conquering the rest of Eos. And so, we've chosen to send forth our best warriors."

"Wait—" Kara started, but her voice cut off. Her heart began to pound.

Mairi shook her head, stunned. "There's no way…"

"These are the three I've chosen to represent your class on the front lines." Graves rested her hands on her hips, smiling when the boys frowned at each other. Kara's breath caught in her throat when Graves's cold eyes met hers. _You did this… because of_ _ **me?**_

"Ravus."

"Ravus?" Leo repeated, frowning at her. "What's he have to do with this?"

"That bastard…" Kara gritted her teeth and shook her head.

"Well then… You three pack up and be ready to head out in the morning."

"The morning?" Steiner repeated, eyebrows raised to his hairline.

"Unless you'd rather be punished for insubordination."

"No ma'am," Smithstone stammered, shaking his head quickly. "You won't have any trouble from us."

"Good. You're dismissed. Train leaves at five."

" _Five_?" Mairi repeated, her dark eyes growing wider by the second.

Kara's hands curled up at her sides. _This isn't fair. Why do the bad guys always get the last laugh?_ Leo rested a hand on her arm and nodded to the other pair to follow him outside the crowd. She couldn't help but look back at Gray, watching him slowly descended the staircase, looking dazed as he stared at the ground. _Why is this happening?_

"What the hell does she think she's doing?" Mairi huffed once they far enough away. She crossed her arms and shook her head, but having one of her fits wouldn't help them. _Nothing can._

"Getting rid of distractions."

"Huh?" Aloc ducked his head to catch Kara's eye, brows raised. "Did Leo hit you in the head or somethin'? What are they distracting us from?"

Leo rolled his eyes and rubbed at the back of his neck. "She means Gray…" He paused when Kara scowled at him, but only for a moment. There was nothing she could say to stop him from telling the others behind her back. Might as well let him speak now. "I mean, haven't you guys seen the way they are around each other? Even if there's not something going on—which I'm not saying there is—someone had to see that and think it'd get them in better standing to tattle."

"Kara?" Mairi waved a hand in front of Kara's face. "Hey, what did you mean when you mentioned Ravus back there?"

"Ravus—" Kara cut herself off, shaking her head. There were eyes and ears everywhere. "Are we free to go or do we still have training to do?"

Leo shrugged, jerking his head toward the dispersing crowd of cadets. "Looks like everyone's heading home."

"Okay." She took a deep breath and crossed the cobblestone to get her jacket off the ground where she left it. "Let's go to the waterfall."

"Oh, that'll feel _so_ nice," Aloc moaned, shivering with excitement. "It's _hot._ "

"Don't be weird," Mairi snapped, elbowing him. The irritation in her eyes faded when she looked at Kara, gnawing on her lips as they searched for the right words. _I guess I wasn't as subtle as I thought._

Shaking her head, Kara ties the jacket around her waist and led the way down the stairs and toward the beaten dirt path into the woods. "Let's go."

Mosquitos and gnats were in the mood to bite. Even with the sticky humidity and the slick layer of slimy sweat on her skin, she pulled her jacket back on to avoid getting eaten alive. Aloc, always the unlucky one, spent half the walk smacking his arms and face. In the distance, the waterfall crashed into the watering hole they'd found. It had been forever since the first day they stepped foot on its pebbled shore. At least, it _felt_ like it had been forever. It was a wonder no one else had crashed their party yet with how many times they'd gone there after training.

"Home sweet home," Mairi muttered sarcastically, swatting a mosquito off of her neck and grimacing at the blood it streaked across her palm. "Gross, it already got me."

"Thank the _gods_!" Aloc cried, diving straight into the water without shedding any of his clothing.

Leo shook his head, glancing down at Mairi when she slicked her sweaty hair off her forehead. "Behind the falls?"

"Yeah, that's probably our best bet. At least then no one can hear." She led the way toward the tumbling water, carefully balancing herself on the slippery, algae-coated rocks. Aloc splashed around in the pond beside them, grinning from ear to ear.

"Aw, c'mon. no one's gonna get in?" N0 one answered and Kara didn't have the heart to cheer him up. "Leo? Ladies? The water's fine!"

"This is serious, Aloc!" Mairi snapped, rolling her eyes. She flinched when he splashed at her, still trying to lighten the mood. " _Aloc!"_

"Alright, alright." The boy rolled his eyes and dragged himself up onto the rocks, soggy. "You guys make my life so damn hard."

" _You_ —"

"Mairi, seriously. Just ignore him," Leo huffed, reaching out a hand to help her across the final gap. "He can't handle serious Kara."

"I don't know if I can either."

Ignoring them, Kara stepped further into the cave and took a seat on one of the damp rocks, not really caring if her clothes got wet. Nothing could be more uncomfortable than the situation she'd caught herself in. Her friends gathered closer, concerned, and eager to understand what had her so down.

For all they knew, she was sad because one of her friends—or, she supposed, a boy she liked—was about to be brutally murdered on the front lines. Her stomach twisted and she squeezed her eyes shut. _You didn't have to put it like that._

"So… Ravus?" Mairi prodded, tucking her hair behind her ear.

Kara sighed, nodding and rubbing her hands on her pants in an effort to dry them off. They were sweating enough that relief didn't last for long. "I don't really know where to start. I guess… I've known Gray for a super long time."

"Your dads were friends, right?" Aloc asked, plopping down on the rock floor. Mairi grimaced at the sound of his drenched clothes slapping against the ground.

"Yeah, so we were always around each other. And I guess since Graves shrank the group down, we've had more chances to hang out."

"With us," Aloc said. Kara knew he was searching for more clarification, but the look in his eyes told her he wasn't sure if he wanted to know.

"Yes and no."

Kara cocked her head to the side and turned to the water. It was hard to look at them and talk. If they had any other life, it wouldn't be hard to tell them. But they were there, and there were rules that they all had to honor to keep their ranks strong. She of all people broke them and now she had to suffer the consequences. Her mind knew how it went, but nothing ever registered until she could _feel_ it in her bones.

"What do you mean?"

"What do you think she means, idiot?" Leo smacked the back of Aloc's head and the younger boy whined, digging his fingers into his hair and recoiling.

"He started coming over to my house to keep me company after… y'know. The stuff with Wyn happened. It was nice having a friend around." Kara kicked at a stone and watched it skitter over the edge, taking the plunge into the warm water outside. "But it was too easy for it to become more than that."

"So, what, you started to _like_ like him?" Aloc asked, crossing his legs.

Mairi rolled her eyes, hugging her arms to her body. "Shut up, Aloc. She's trying to talk."

"I'm just engaging in the story. Don't be a wench."

"You're being the wench."

"Guys," Leo interrupted, cutting them off and refocusing the attention on me.

"No, more than that. We were like a real… _thing._ " She could feel her face going red, but she couldn't stop it. She hoped the shadows hid it well. "Sometimes he spends the night and sometimes he doesn't. Either way's alright with me." She pressed her lips together. "You're going to hate me for the next bit."

"I could never hate you," Mairi reminded her gently, offering a thin smile. _No, you_ _ **especially**_ _will._

"When Ravus came here about a month ago, I asked if he'd be willing…" She took a deep breath and looked down at her pants, picking at loose threads. "If he'd be willing to train me in his free time. I knew I was falling behind and that Graves was going to do everything she could to stop me."

The silence was painful—bone-dry. It was like bragging to a friend, the captain of the guard, that she'd just robbed his citizens blind to buy him the watch he wore on his wrist. He wouldn't understand why she'd cheated the system, he wouldn't find her innocent, and he couldn't see her the same ever again. She'd cheated, plain and simple. She caved to the pressure and she broke the rules. This is what she deserved.

"He came to my house four nights a week to teach me. It was always basic things, like how to hold a weapon better or how to block more effectively. Little things." _As if that makes it okay._ "Just a few days ago, he told me that he wasn't going to teach me anymore as long as I was still seeing Gray. He didn't want to get either of us in trouble, and I understand that looking back, but…" Kara couldn't help but puff out a stressed laugh, feeling her chest grow tight. "I couldn't see it then. I screamed at him and I threw things like a _child._ "

"And so he told on you." Aloc's voice was quiet and his eyebrows were pinched together. He was thinking, and hard.

"Yeah. At least, I think he did." She shook her head and scrubbed a tear off her cheek with her shoulder. "And now Gray… He's—"

"Oh, cut the waterworks," Mairi snapped. Kara winced. _Here we go._ "You're here throwing yourself a pity party because you're getting _punished,_ Kara. It's fucking childish."

"Mairi—" Leo started, his head low and his hands deep in his pockets. He refused to look at them, twisting his neck so they could only see the back of his head.

"No, shut up!" Mairi snapped, stomping a foot on the ground. "I'm saying it because you're both too _pussy_ to. She's been getting private training from a higher up! Don't you get what that _means_?"

"She just wanted—"

"It means a cheater's gonna kick one of us out of place!" she shouted, throwing an accusing finger in Kara's direction. She recoiled as if it hit her—some part of her felt like it did. Shuddering, she watched them bicker. "What am I supposed to tell my parents when I get cut because this _bitch_ cheated just like the rest of them?"

"That _bitch_ is your friend," Aloc murmured, drawing circles in the sludge on the ground miserably. He knew what Mairi was saying, but he didn't want it to sink in.

"Yeah, she might've been. Maybe back before she started sucking the Empire's _dick._ "

"I'm not—" Kara started, getting angry. She understood why her friends were upset, but this was getting beyond her extra help. The accusations no longer had anything to do with cheating—they were calling her a traitor.

"Oh, sorry," Mairi sneered, smacking her forehead. "It was Gray's, and probably Ravus's too. Am I wrong? Or are you gonna start blubbering like a baby all over again because you're the reason your _boyfriend's_ going to _die_?!"

Aloc scoffed, getting to his feet. "You're a bitch, you know that, Mairi?"

"Whatever. At least I'm _honest_."

"There's a difference."

Aloc tugged his shirt into place and turned, hurrying away from the group. His heel slipped on the algae and Kara's heart skipped a beat, relieved when he caught his balance. Or, at least, when he should have. His feet slipped completely out from beneath him and his head hit the stones with a sharp thwack. Mairi pressed a hand to her chest, angry and startled.

"Gods, Aloc. Didn't you ever learn how to walk?" He didn't react, eerily still on his back. Kara's chest tightened and suddenly it was hard to breathe. "Aloc?"

"Shit," Leo whispered, hurrying to the boy's side.

Kara was there when he was, knees stained in the muck that coated the rock of the small cavern. She pressed a hand to the floor to steady herself only to draw back when she felt warmth. When she lifted her arm, thick, red blood drips down her fingers and soaked into the dark sleeve of her jacket. Mairi and Leo stared in silence for a moment, a chill overtaking the tension.

"Holy shit," Mairi breathed, squatting down and pushing Aloc's shaggy hair off of his damp forehead. Her breathes began to tremble. "Holy _fuck,_ guys, what do we _do?_ "

Leo stammered, watching Aloc's face go pale with panic in his eyes. Then, in a split second, he blinked it away and took a deep breath. "Mairi, you're the fastest. Run back into town and try to find a doctor."

"Alright."

Just like that, Mairi took off, dark hair whipping behind her as she pumped her arms and her thin legs made long, effortless strides to carry her home.

Leo looked back up at Kara and stretched out a hand, pressing his fingers to Aloc's neck to find a pulse. "Give me your jacket. We'll use it to wrap his head."

"We're staying here?"

"No." He took the material from her and she gingerly lifted Aloc's head off the ground, feeling sick at the warm, sticky liquid running over her hands as she did so. His hair was _soaked._ Leo explained as he wrapped the jacket tightly around their friend's head. "I'll carry him back to town. You have to keep an eye out for any animals."

"Right."

There weren't usually many creatures out in the woods, but when there were, they weren't very friendly. Usually, Mairi could hit one by throwing a dagger with precise aim, but without her there, Kara had to keep an eye open.

With hearts pounding and adrenaline rushing through their veins, they hurried out of the cave and into the dimming forest. The bugs were still buzzing about, but they were the least of their concerns. Fortunately, there was nothing on the way that stopped them, and when they reached the city's edge, Kara let her spear dissolve in a shower of sparks. Dripping in sweat, Mairi sped back down the path, motioning to an older man in a pale coat.

"He'll help us," she wheezed. After the words were out, she doubled over and grasped her knees to catch her breath.

Leo nodded, hurrying to reach the doctor. The man ushered them inside his house and closed the door behind them. Motioning for Leo to set Aloc down on the couch, he grabbed a large bag off the floor and followed them deeper into the house.

"What happened to you kids?"

"We were by some water and he slipped on the rocks," Leo explained, stepping back and eyeing the soaked crimson stain on his sleeve. "Hit his head."

"I can see that," the doctor murmured, kneeling and peeling the jacket off of Aloc's head. "Help me sit him up, would you?"

Kara stood back, watching as Leo hauled Aloc upward by his arms. He couldn't be that heavy; he was smaller than her in nearly every way. Somehow, that didn't make her feel better about all the blood. Carefully, the doctor pulled at Aloc's hair, trying to find the source of the bleeding. He pressed his lips together and nodded, frowning.

"What is it?" Kara dared to ask, hugging her arms to her body tightly.

"Why don't you take a seat, little lady? You look ready to fall and get a cut just like his." She obeyed, shakily stumbling into the cushioned chair beside the wall. "Head wounds always bleed more than most. Boy's got a nasty cut across the back of his head. I'll have to close it up with staples, but he'll be alright."

"Thank fuck," Mairi breathed, slouching against Leo's side and squeezing her eyes shut. The doctor touched the glasses on his face with a frown.

"Why don't you go into my kitchen and get a glass of water? You look like you could use it."

"Yeah. Thanks." Taking a deep breath, she heaved herself off her support and left the room.

Leo met the doctor's gaze and offered a weak smile. "We were really scared. All that blood… Just freaky to see him like this."

"I understand. It's good that you got him here with such urgency. Maybe next time you won't worry yourselves half to death, hm?"

"Maybe," Kara murmured, laying her head back against the cushions and closing her eyes. In the darkness, all she could see was thick red blood dripping down her fingers and pooling in her palm. _Gray…_ Her stomach churned and she opened her eyes, slowly dragging her trembling body to its feet. "Do you mind if I get water also?"

"Go right on ahead. Leave the glass in the sink."

"I will."

Mairi didn't look at her when she passed her, keeping her eyes focused on Aloc as the doctor shaved away part of his thick hair. Defeated, Kara slouched against the counter and downed two glasses of water. Something about the drink helped calm her down. She settled in her seat and watched the doctor stitch Aloc back together in silence, only half-listening to Mairi and Leo's conversation as they laughed back and forth, overcome with relief.

Already, she felt loneliness sinking its fangs into her neck, sucking out what little life she had left. Her family, Gray, and now her friends. They were all gone. She had nothing left but the legacy of her father—a legacy that she was doing a piss-poor job of maintaining. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath. _It'll all be okay. I just have to wait the cold out. They'll come around._ I nod. _Besides, Gray's really strong. Maybe he'll make it back alright._

"Alright, that should settle it." The doctor stood and dusted off his hands, eyeing his handiwork. "You'll be alright bringing him home?"

"Yeah, should be." Leo walked around the other side of the couch, hoisting Aloc back up into his arms. "What do we owe you?"

The doctor shook his head, waving his hand flippantly. "Don't worry about it. It was simple enough and I had nothing else to do." He touched his glasses, frowning. "Do you want me to come with? Explain what happened to his folks?"

"Oh, no, that won't be necessary," Mairi blurted, her face going red when he eyed her. "It's just… He doesn't have any."

"He lives alone?"

"Yeah," Kara nodded, standing and reaching over to brush the hair out of Aloc's eyes. Leo turned away so that she couldn't reach him. Her heart stings sharply enough that her eyes began to water. She blinked the tears away before anyone could see them.

"He can stay with me tonight," Leo offered.

Mairi nodded. "Good idea."

"Alright, well be careful," the man warned, ushering them out the door. "And goodnight."

"Thank you," Kara said, but it hardly came out over a whisper. Mairi and Leo started to head down the path toward his house. Uneasy, Kara started to follow. "Do you guys need—"

"Go home, Kara," Mairi snapped, keeping her back turned.

"But—"

"And don't talk to me anymore."

Shoulders slumped and chest aching, Kara turned the other way and headed home, missing her jacket and her friends. There was no one in the streets on the walk back, only guards and lampposts to keep her company. The guards were busy teasing each other and the lampposts were hotter than the air, so she walked alone, beaten down by the consequences of her actions. _I don't have the right to be upset._

The front door was closed, but the lights were on. Frowning, Kara opened the door half-expecting to see Ravus waiting for her on the couch, prepared to lecture her on why this had to happen. There was no one there, though. At least, not at first.

Gray stepped out of her room, hands tucked into his pockets and a defeated smile painted on his face. Kara didn't have time to build new walls up, so she didn't.

She crossed the room and hung on as tightly as she could, soaking his shirt in her tears and pleading the gods to keep him here—to keep him safe. Maybe the train wouldn't run the next day, saving for him for one more day. Maybe Graves would drop dead and her plans would still. Maybe the war would end before the sun rose in the morning.

But even if those things happened, they'd only prolong the inevitable.

Sometimes, as painful as it is, it's only right to let the ones you love slip between your fingers like grains of sand and watch them drift wherever the wind may take them.


	8. Bittersweet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dancing With Your Ghost by Sasha Sloan

Deaths from the front lines were reported every morning at eight on the radio or posted on a paper taped to the marble wall that first greeted cadets on their way to training. For the first week, Kara couldn't bear to look at the paper until after practice every day. For the second, she ran to the paper first thing every morning, breathless and sweaty as she read the names through bleary vision. Sometimes, there were a dozen. Others, there were none. It depended on what the Empire did that week to upset its neighbors.

The third week, other cadets began to exchange pitiful glances when they saw her hurry to the paper and stand beside Steiner's twin sister in sullen silence. None of them were Aloc, Mairi, or Leo. At first, Aloc struggled to cut her out. She could tell in the apologetic looks he shot her or the smile he'd offer when Mairi wasn't looking. But she knew better. They'd get the better of him eventually. And they were right. She wasn't doing anything but stealing from those who'd worked for this fair and square.

A month in, she'd still heard nothing. Ravus hadn't spoken to her, her brother hadn't been anywhere near her, and her friends no longer spared her a glance. Sometimes, she pretended they were strangers like the rest of the cadets in their unit. Others, she was angry that they wouldn't forgive her—that they couldn't. She knew they were still going to the waterfall, the place they'd held so sacredly for so long. She knew they hadn't forgotten her, that Aloc was still confused, Mairi was still angry, and Leo was still pretending it was justice.

She spent every day training as hard as she could, avoiding conversation, leaving her hopes at the alter of an obituary, and going home to train even more. She wanted to do it right. She couldn't sleep most nights, so she got up to pace circles around the house, anything to keep herself busy. Anything to keep her eyes from the visions of blood and smoke.

The fifth week was the week of her sixteenth birthday. The day before it started like any other. She got up and went to training where she wiped the floor with Aloc's ass, ignoring his jokes and fumbling in favor of proving her newfound strength and perhaps even to let loose some of her building anger. She should've felt bad, but she didn't. Maybe he'd transfer the rage to Mairi and tell her to grow the hell up. He probably wouldn't.

After training, as the summer sun began to sink, Graves stopped the cadets to announce that there had been an ambush on the Empire's troops. They'd won but at a cost. The deaths would be announced shortly as they wouldn't all fit on their beloved paper. Steiner's sister found Kara in the crowd and held her hand. The tears gathered in her eyes long before Graves contacted the leaders on the lines, but she felt numb.

And then Graves began to list names. There were _so many_ names. Some belonged to higher ranks, some to lower, and some Kara had never even heard before. Every unit was lined out there on the stone, holding their breaths and heaving them out to either sigh in relief or choke on their anguish. Steiner's sister clasped a hand over her mouth and took off. A boy in the crowd hit the ground, having fainted upon hearing his friends' names. Somewhere across the gathering, someone stifled a sob.

She said Gray's name so casually as if it was nothing more than another word, so closely to how a stranger might that Kara almost didn't hear it. She began to feel the stares and she had to think twice. _Gray Harvey. That's him. He's dead._ For a moment, she thought she felt sad. Her stomach twisted and sweat stuck to her skin. She knew she had to leave, but she didn't get very far before it hit her like a wall and she doubled over, embarrassed by the startled gasps and murmurs as she spilled my guts onto the pavement.

She went home after that, red-faced and overwhelmed with confusion. She wasn't sad and she wasn't angry. She was _relieved._ The thought made her sick again. How _fucked_ up could she possibly be that Gray's death gave her enough relief to be _happy_? How twisted had she become?

A girl she didn't know knocked on her door to tell her that all trainees had the next day off to recover from the tragedy of the day. Kara thanked her and shut the door. She didn't need to recover from anything. Angry, disgusted, relieved, and all, she threw herself into bed and slept soundly for the first time in a month.

Say what you will about grief; death gave her nothing but peace.

The morning was hot and humid as they always were in midsummer. The temperature in Tenebrae was always fairly even until that time of year when the air became too muddy to breathe. Kara wiped the moisture off her forehead and climbed the pale steps up to the training floor of her troop, concentrating on the sound of chirping cicadas that filled in the gaps of the silence between the rustling of the tree leaves. It had been three days since the ambush on the serviced soldiers. The city had been eerily silent ever since, drab and dreary with its mourning grays and slouched shoulders.

And then, out of the blue, the haze lifted. The sky was clear, the sun was bright, and people filled the streets with smiles on their faces and warmth in their hearts. Something about the third day felt lighter than the previous two. Even Kara could feel it.

She lined up with the rest of the cadets, listening to Graves's lectures about being careful not to injure each other—a sure way to remove competition—and how to take care of the practice weapons they'd been provided. She only tuned in when the tone of Graves's voice changed.

"There's one other thing," Graves continued, standing straighter. A chilling smile curled the corners of her lips as she scanned over them. Kara shivered. "I have an announcement after the end of our training today, so keep your times sharp. I don't want to stay late."

Kara tried not to worry too much, following a group that was off to do speed training. It had the least amount of people she knew. A girl stretched her arms over her head, stepping up to one of her friends. She didn't seem to mind that Kara was within earshot, cocking her head to the side.

"Hey, did you hear?"

"Hear what?"

"They found Steiner's sister in the river."

"Wait, seriously?"

"Yeah. Must've drowned."

"Do they know what happened?"

She shrugged, bending over to touch her toes. "Said it was an accident. I think she did it herself, poor girl."

"Wouldn't be surprised."

Shaking her head, Kara tied her hair up and picked up a small plastic switch—a timer with the smallest of dark screens. Then, clutching it in her hand, she stilled her mind and run as fast as she possibly could. By the time they were called back to Graves, she was drenched in sweat and her body felt like jelly, but she was pleased with herself. _Getting better._ She scrubbed at her face with the hem of her shirt and let it fall back down to see the rest of the troop lining up to listen to their commander. _This had better be good news._

Graves walked before them slowly, hands clasped behind her back and hair slicked up into that omnipresent tight bun that made Kara's scalp hurt just _looking_ at it. The commander touched her bun with a calloused finger to make sure it was still in place before facing them fully, feet spread wide. Even with her full uniform on, she didn't look hot at all. _Even the weather's afraid to touch her._ Eyes steely, she scanned their faces before speaking.

"As you may know, we've lost a number of our troops over the past few days. I will not be discussing the circumstances of those deaths because they are not your business." She quirked an eyebrow sharply. "However, I _will_ be informing you that the front lines require our help yet again."

"Oh gods, who's she taking this time?" a boy murmured, standing taller.

"Every lower-level group is required to offer two cadets," Graves continued, nodding toward the cardboard box that had been neatly tucked against the wall all day. "Halberd and Highwind, up here. Now."

Kara couldn't say she was surprised because she'd expected this all along. However, the chilled hush that overcame the troop was too much to bear when combined with the smug look on Graves' face and the crippling pain of knowing that she'd done this to her intentionally. As Halberd, a younger boy that reminded her a lot of Aloc, stepped forward obediently, albeit hesitantly, Kara stood still, stubbornly staring Graves in the eye. The commander worked her jaw, her smug face struggling against the tides of her irritation.

"Are you deaf, Highwind? Get up here."

"No." The silence was heavy, filled only by the distant sounds of other troops sparring around them. "I'm not going."

"And why not?" she demanded, crossing her arms. "You knew not to fear death entering this—"

"I'm not afraid," Kara cut in. She couldn't care less if she made her angry. "I'm tired of being punished simply because you don't like me. Pick on someone else that _deserves_ the chance to fight or leave it be." Kara shook her head, lifting her chin. "I won't go."

Graves scoffed, jerking her chin toward the line before her. "Fine. You'd rather I send your friends in your place? That can be arranged." Kara's heart skipped a beat and Graves started to smile again, knowing she'd won. "You Highwinds always _were_ selfish. Kept your noses in the air until someone threatened to take something you call yours. You think your father would be proud of your defiance?" When Kara didn't answer, Graves sighed. "Fine. Have it your way. Le—"

"No." Biting the throat of her pride, Kara stepped forward and joined Halberd's side. _I'm not stupid. I'd rather die than let you win._ "You'll regret this."

The rest of the unit watched in still, horrified silence. The last person that talked back to their commander was forced to stand in the same place until he collapsed. He made it nearly two days before his body gave in. Kara kept her head held high, staring at the horizon over their heads. _I won't give you the satisfaction of seeing me cry._

"Is that so?" Graves kicked the box toward her. "Congratulations, _Kara._ You made it to the front lines. Put your uniform on."

"Here?" Kara frowned, staring down at the folded uniforms.

"Of course. You let us see your ugly side here—why not bear it all?"

Kara scoffed, gritting her teeth and letting a bitter smile twist her lips. "I'm not going to—"

"No? As I said, I'm sure the lines would more than appreciate the extra help."

Taking a deep breath, she glanced down at the box, trying to toss out any dignity that remains. Her heart was pounding and a film of sweat coated her skin. _It's just like being in a swimsuit. A mismatched, thin, exposing swimsuit._ She nodded to herself and bent over to pick the jacket up. Graves stopped her with a disapproving click of her tongue.

"Ah-ah." When Kata shot her a look, she cocked her head to the side, thoroughly enjoying her little game. "Take it all off first. Give us the full effect."

"You're _sick!_ "

"You're disrespectful. Need I remind you why you deserve to be here. I let you stay far beyond your time to go, Highwind. Get on with it."

Rolling her eyes, Kara tugged at the hem of my shirt, forcing herself to pull it up over her head and toss it to the floor. Halberd cleared his throat and turned his eyes elsewhere awkwardly. Try as she might to remain unfazed, the blatant staring of the cadets before her made her face go red and her palms get sweaty. _This is fucked up._

"Getting cold feet?" Graves prodded. "You didn't seem to care when it came to G—"

" _No_." _Don't say his name._

Shivering, whether from the sun on her skin or the shame she didn't know, she reached up to undo the button of her pants. _So, so fucked up._ Her nail broke on the zipper from her trembling fingers grasping at it too quickly and she winced. Just as she was about to shimmy out of them, someone stepped into their shadowed section of the grounds. She clutched her shed clothing to her body tightly, staring hard at the ground.

"What the _hell_ is going on here?"

Kara's blood froze in her veins and she couldn't help but look up. _Wyn?_ Her brother glowered at the woman before them, arms crossed tightly across his chest and brows dragged down to shadow his eyes. Graves hesitated before turning to stand her ground.

"She blatantly disrespected me in front of my entire unit, Iterum. Do you expect me to let that fly?"

"No, but I also don't expect you to have a young girl _strip_ for her class as punishment," he retorted, walking across the pavement until he reached me. Swiftly, he shed his jacket and held it in front of her. Kara pulled it closer, grateful, but she couldn't look at him any longer than the split second in which she stole a glance. "You're all dismissed for the day. The commanders on the field don't want any more inexperienced soldiers dying on their watch. If you have any opposition to my taking charge, Graves, take it up with Xavier."

"So I'm not going to—" Halberd started. Wyn cut him off with a curt shake of his head, motioning for Graves to leave. Working her jaw, the commander turned on her heels and walked toward the staircase down to the city.

Wyn turned back to Kara, letting go of his jacket so that she could bend over and get her shirt. "Hey, are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," she said quickly, tugging the shirt on and smoothing her hair. She took a deep breath and looked up at him, overwhelmed by how _wonderful_ it was to see his face. For a moment, it didn't matter what he'd done. She finally understood why he obeyed. _We all do things we regret to get ahead._

"Are you sure?" Kara nodded, pressing her lips together and kicking the box away. "I heard about Gray… Must suck. I know you guys were close."

"Yeah." She shrugged, turning her eyes to the ground. "I guess I accepted it a long time ago."

"I understand." Wyn pulled his jacket back on, putting his hands in his pockets. "How have things been?"

"Honestly?" A pained smile crossed her face and she puffed out a short laugh. "Lonely. Really goddamn lonely." She shook her head, swallowing the lump in her throat. "I've been staring at the ceiling more than I'd like to."

"Me too. What about your friends?"

"They stopped caring about me after they found out about Ravus and—" She paused, glancing up at him.

He nodded, jerking his head toward something past the two of them. "It looks like they feel bad."

"What?"

Kara frowned, turning to see Mairi, Leo, and Aloc waiting behind, hesitant to break the reunion. Aloc offered an awkward smile paired with a wave and Leo raised an eyebrow. Mairi stood behind the two, arms crossed and eyes directed at the stone wall behind them. Clearly, she still had some reservations. _So_ _ **now**_ _you care?_ Shaking the thought away, Kara turned back to Wyn.

"Stay here. Please."

"I'm not going anywhere," he assured her.

Squaring her shoulders, Kara headed toward the others. She was on edge, but something about Aloc's demeanor told her she should be relieved. Leo cracked a soft smile, rubbing the back of his head. It was Aloc that spoke up first, laughing.

" _Damn_ , Kara! You're _ripped!_ "

"Shut up," she scoffed, unable to keep from laughing with him.

"No, seriously. Tell me your secrets!"

"Aloc," Leo huffed, pushing Aloc's head. He rolled his eyes and turned back to me. "I wanted to apologize. I guess I just wanted you to understand that I wasn't okay with your _methods,_ but what Graves just did was _messed_ up. Sort of made me realize we've been putting you through hell."

"What, you think you matter that much to me?" Kara retorted, raising an eyebrow. He puffed out a laugh and shook his head.

"Honestly, Kara, you're probably better off without us. I've noticed how much better you're doing."

"Yeah, but where's the fun in new records if I can't brag about them?" she teases, unable to get past her uneasiness at Mairi's silence.

Aloc picked up on it quickly, pushing his glasses up and elbowing her. "Hey, don't you have something to say?"

Mairi rolled her eyes, letting her hands fall onto her narrow hips. She flipped her dark hair out of her face before looking up at Kara, looking quite irritated. "I want to know your secrets, too."

"Oh, for the love of—" Kara scoffed, squeezing her friend into a tight hug.

"I wanted to sock her in the throat," Mairi murmured into her neck. Kara smiled, shaking her head. "And I'm _sorry._ You didn't deserve that."

"I forgive you," she reassured her, pulling away. "Really." Stretching up onto her toes, she bounced up and down, recharged with new energy she hadn't had in weeks. "So, what're we up to?"

"Oh no you don't," Mairi snorted, grabbing her shoulders and twisting her around to face Wyn. " _You_ are making up with your dumbass brother so that _I_ am allowed to hit on him again."

"Seriously?" Aloc whined.

"Mairi, he's _so_ much older—"

"But he's really _not._ "

" _Mairi—_ "

"Leave it, Kara. She's obsessed," Leo muttered, ruffling her hair.

Wyn raised an eyebrow, waiting and watching. Rolling her eyes, Kara shoved her friends off of her and crossed the stone to rejoin him. They took off with a series of waves, leaving the entire group feeling much, _much_ better about their friendship. Wyn ran a hand through his hair, smiling faintly.

"Feel better?"

"Yeah. A lot." Kara shook her head, crossing her arms. She had other unfinished business to take care of. "Do we have anywhere else to talk?"

"Sure. Follow me."


	9. Brotherhood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Float by HARBOUR

_What she would give to laugh with him again, to watch eyes like hers stare back and water with the pressure of sore sides and pure joy. Where she would go to feel his embrace again, a warm clutch against his chest. Who she would kill to avenge him, the cold bastards that stole the life in his eyes and the warmth in his skin._

_Well, she knew who she had to kill. She stood and nodded to the messenger boy that waited at the door. Adjusting the armor on her glove, she spoke, straightening her posture to match how he once stood._

_"I'm ready."_

* * *

Wyn sat on edge of the platform and beamed up at Kara, patting the stones beside him in silent invitation. She climbed down slower, leaning back on her palms. Below, the higher ranks sparred, dripping in sweat and gasping in the summer heat. Not too far away, she saw Ravus training with a girl a little shorter than him, hair pulled back and deep concentration set in his face. He parried a blow and swiftly turned to strike from behind. Decisive, swift, and powerful, just as he was when he taught her. Confidence was his power.

"So, what'd you want to talk about?" Wyn asked, leaning forward and pressing his elbows into his knees.

He, too, watched Ravus train, a hint of a smile tracing his lips when his friend tried to cover his mistakes with a counterattack only to have his sword thrown from his grasp. With gritted teeth, Ravus nodded at whatever the girl said and the sword reappeared in his hand in an instant, gleaming with the same excitement for battle that shined in the eyes of young soldiers.

Sighing, Kara shook her head and tucked her hair behind her ear. "I'm not sure. It's just… nice to be beside you again." Smiling at her silly words, she glanced over at him. "What's it like living inside the Manor?"

"Not that exciting," he admitted. "At least, not as exciting as some would think. There're maids and cooks and all that, but that's mostly reserved for Ravus and Lunafreya, as it should be. Though, something tells me some greedy commanders would rather have it turned in their favor." He scoffed, shaking his head. "They'd sooner work those poor old women to death than wash their own laundry."

"That doesn't shock me." Kara picked at her nails, looking over her knuckles every now and again to watch Ravus fight. There was something about the ferocity in his movements that forced her eyes to linger in admiration. He really did give it his at all every chance he got.

Wyn noticed, cocking his head to the side and turning back to his friend. "He's a marvel to watch, isn't he? You wouldn't think it's purely _hatred_ that fuels him."

"Not purely," she corrected, shaking her head. When he looked back, she shrugged. "It's love, too. For his parents and for Lunafreya. Maybe Tenebrae is in there, too."

"You're right," he nodded. His eyes followed the sharp gleam of Ravus's blade as it caught the sunlight. "Gods, I can't imagine going that hard in every battle."

"His body _has_ to be used to the abuse by now," she pointed out, crossing her legs. "How's life in the upper ranks?"

"It's really all about perfecting the _art of fighting_ ," he mocked, rolling his eyes and shooting her a grin. "Really, Kara, it's just delaying the inevitable because older leaders refuse to step down and they don't want us on the field. We're just ornaments to them."

"Well, how do you knock them from their stations?"

"That's a good question." He laughed and shook his head. "I really don't know. Wait for the old bags to step down? Hope they strain their backs and can't move more than a few inches? Who knows?"

"I hope that _all_ happens to Graves," she huffed. "She's a _wench_."

"Whoa there. Strong words coming from you. You like _everyone._ "

"Yeah, well, not the people who like to torture me for their pleasure." She scowled at the treetops that blurred the horizon. "Why does she hate me so much? I didn't do anything to her."

"She was knocked down from a position she wanted because the person who wanted it had a legacy in the role," he shrugged. "At least, that's what I've heard. Even when I was with her, she was awful."

"Did she know about your father?"

"I doubt it. Most people just assume everything works the way it's supposed to."

"You mean families?"

"Sure." He picked at a thread on his knee absently. "Or other things. Like wars. Last I checked, you're not supposed to kill civilians and burn towns, but what the hell do I know?"

"Is that what they did to us?"

"It's what we're doing to _others._ " Disgusted, he frowned. "It's nice to be close to the top, but the further you go, the worse it gets. Not because it's harder _physically,_ but just learning what we're actually _helping…_ It's _awful_ out there."

"Can't say I'm surprised. The Empire does whatever the hell it wants to." Sitting straighter, Kara began to squirm a little. "Wyn, is it true that they're producing magitek soldiers? Like, soldiers that aren't even _real_?"

"Yeah." He shook his head, wincing when Ravus's sword went flying again. "I've heard some freaky things about that. That they use human souls or something like that."

"That's awful. How do you even _get_ those?"

"By turning a human into a robotic, maniac weapon," he shrugged. Another smile crossed his lips and he nudged his sister with his shoulder. "Is that what you're thinking about in all that free time of yours?"

"Maybe." She laughed. "I don't know. I just remembered talking to Gray about that _months_ ago."

Wyn nodded, quiet at the sound of the dead boy's name. Kara didn't feel anything at all when she said it; it was almost as if he was just a dream, a shadowy ghost of a friend she made up so that she didn't feel so alone. _Then why can't I bring him back?_

"Hey, here's an idea." Wyn twisted around, crossing his legs so that he could face Kara fully. "I can advocate for you to get a room in the Manor so you're not lonely all the time. It's amazing how having people around makes the days feel fuller."

"It's tempting, but…" She sighed, shaking her head and picking at her boot. "Wyn, there are so many more people who need it than I do. Like Aloc. He's had no one around for _so_ long, and I—"

"Kara, it really is kind of you to think of others first, but there are a few problems with that." Wyn pushed his hair out of his eyes. "I can't speak for people I don't know. It doesn't work like that. If it did, there would be _a lot_ of other people in there. But I _can_ speak for you."

"… What are the other problems?" she asked quietly, mulling over the idea. To be closer to him and Ravus… To possibly see _Luna_ again…

"Aloc has been alone for a long time, right? That's what he's used to. His parents died on the front lines, not inside his…" Wyn swallowed his words. His shoulders slumped forward, but he took a deep breath to straighten them out, readjusting the weight on his back. "It's not a healthy environment for you to be trapped within and I _care_ about your welfare."

"Really?" Kara teased, raising her eyebrows. "I hadn't noticed."

"I'm serious. Let me ask at least."

Huffing, she pressed her lips together, thinking. "It's just odd. That place was always meant for the Nox Fleuret family, and now it's a hub for any soldier sorry enough to find themselves needing a room. That, or greedy leaders who can't wait to dig their grubby fingers into the family fortunes."

"I understand. However…" A hint of a smile traced her brother's lips when he looked up at her. "I think you're the last person Ravus would deny shelter."

"What do you mean?" She frowned. "What about you and Luna?"

"Well, assuming we already live there, which we do."

"Weird."

"Is it? You're friends, Kara. That's what you're supposed to do."

"He's awfully cold for a friend," she pointed out, trying to forget that he was probably the one that got Gray on the frontlines to begin with. At least, that's what she'd assumed. Maybe he had nothing to do with it and someone else opened their mouth to get in Graves' good graces. Either way, what was done was done. She had to move forward.

"It's just the way he is. You think I don't pry every last word out of his mouth?" Wyn ran a hand through his pale hair and his smile broadened under beams of sunlight that pierced through the clouds. "He's a pain in the neck, but he's worth the fight. _Especially_ if I can kick his ass with _half_ the effort he puts in."

"Well, _that's_ not very nice," she teased, flicking a bug off his knee.

" _You're_ not very nice," he retorted.

"Yes, I am!"

Wyn laughed again, rolling his bright blue eyes. "Yeah, you are. Too nice for your own good sometimes." He absently rubbed a hand over the spot where she touched his leg, yawning. "When are your next tests?"

"In a few days, actually. That'll determine our final ranking for the next few months."

"Are you nervous?"

"A little, especially now that Graves has even more reason to hate me. It had to be worse for Leo, though, because he's got to be good enough to go up by _two_."

"He's older?" She nodded. He hummed in response. "Well, Graves won't be the only judge, you know. Quite a few commanders will be looking on to determine who's good enough. Lucky for you, there are quite a few who see a good soldier with or without the legacy."

"Why's that _lucky_?"

"Because I know you're sick of everyone seeing Kain before they see Kara."

"I guess."

"What's going on up here?"

Kara jumped, turning to see Ravus walking toward them. He wiped the sweat from his brow, glancing at her before turning to Wyn.

"Oh, you know. Cheating," Wyn teased, raising a hand. Ravus took it, pulling the boy to his feet. "Those were some impressive moves, Ravus. Learn those from Parker?"

"No?" Ravus raised an eyebrow, his height perfectly level with Wyn's as they stared each other down. Kara's brother broke, not recognizing the competition, and grinned. "I learned from practicing, as you would do well to try."

"I'm fine on my own. The image of perfection. Right, Kara?"

"You're unbearable," she scoffed, dragging herself to my feet and crossing her arms. Staring up at Ravus, she raised an eyebrow, unable to keep her lips from quirking into a smile. "How long has it been since I spoke to _you?_ "

"A while." Ravus turned back to Wyn. "Unfortunately, it will be cut short. We have somewhere to be."

"Do we?" Wyn frowned, staring at the ground as he tried to remember. "What is it?"

"The maps?"

"Oh, right!" Laughing, he shoved Ravus's shoulder. "See? _That's_ why I keep him around."

"And _that's_ why I wish he'd leave me alone," Ravus murmured, shaking his head and heading toward the Manor. Wyn waved to me, cackling, and hurried to catch up.

Kara watched them go with a faint smile before turning back to watch the soldiers pack up their things for the day. It felt indescribably wonderful to have the old Wyn back, to _smile_ with him again. Somehow, it even felt good to see Ravus again—to hear his voice and see that he was doing alright. Still, she couldn't help but wonder if he'd stand by Wyn until the end. It'd make her feel better to know that, if she didn't make it, her brother would have someone to lean on while she trailed behind.

Someday, she'd catch up to Ravus and make it all up to him. Every shortcoming, every argument, every favor. All of it. Unfortunately, that was not that day. In fact, that would not come for many, many years.


	10. Among the Ranks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Last of The Real Ones by Fall Out Boy
> 
> Fun Fact: I originally named this story after this song like 3 years ago, but soon discovered it's not a great story title :)
> 
> I literally uploaded their character models to the Sims 4 gallery named "The Last of the Real Ones"
> 
> Thankfully they are no longer there lmao

"If I have to do another goddamn set of burpees—" Leo's whispering voice cut out as he dropped into a very painful pushup, synchronized with Kara before the sharp eyes of their judges. When they jumped back to their feet, he continued. "I'm going to _burpee_ all over the ground."

"Leo," Kara puffed out, breathlessly struggling to contain her laughter.

They pulled their expressions back into straight, sweaty faces when a hulking man drew nearer. The man wore thick, plated armor and a gnarled, scarred face. He was the same man that held her captive inside the Manor and allowed her to make a pact with Ravus, though _he_ didn't know that. _Gods, that feels like centuries ago._ His scarred face contorted into a menacing smile and his dark eyebrow lifted into his creased forehead.

"Good to see you here, Highwind. Hardly thought you'd keep your end of the bargain."

Kara forced a half-hearted smile as she prepared to haul her body off the ground again. _I'm going to die right here in front of this prick._

"Bargain?" Graves snorted, crossing her arms. "She hardly made it to the next rank, sir."

"Well, it's your job to make sure she's qualified," he argued, turning his dark eyes to her. She didn't reply, eyeing Kara once more before stepping away. The only thing she was there for was barking orders; for once, she couldn't do anything to hold her cadets back. "Can't waste all this unbridled talent."

"That's enough!" Graves barked, placing her hands on her narrow hips. Panting, Kara got to her feet and wiped the sweat on her face off on the back of her uniform sleeve. Leo caught her eye, looking ready to collapse with his mouth open and his lungs greedily drinking in the stuffy summer air. "Time for your run."

"Run?" The commander threw his head back and belted a booming laugh into the open sky. "Sara, they're soldiers, not athletes. Surely this isn't all you've been doing in your time here."

"Nice to see her put in her place," Leo murmured, rubbing at the back of his head. Somewhere down the line, Mairi leaned forward and caught Kara's eyes to roll her own.

"I want to see them fight," the c0mmander continued. "Perhaps they could spar with the older soldiers?" He turned to the other sergeants, clasping his hands behind his back. "What do you say?"

"Sounds good to me."

"Are they here?"

"Yes. I'll fetch them."

"No, send one of these." The commander turned back to them, raising an eyebrow and jerking his head toward Aloc. "You, go get the soldiers at the east yard."

"Yes, sir!" Aloc cried, hurrying out of line and running past his friends. Kara watched him go for a moment, wondering why _he_ was chosen. _Why didn't he send anyone that_ ** _wasn't_** _being assessed?_

"And while we wait, continue those burpees," Graves muttered, waving her hand toward the line flippantly. Leo groaned, letting his head roll back before the cadets dragged themselves back toward the ground.

It felt like a century passed before Alec returned with a small group of higher-ranking soldiers, Wyn and Ravus included. They both spared Kara a glance before turning back to the rest of the line. The commander grinned and his scars contorted and tugged on his skin to create strange, taut wrinkles.

"Hello, gentlemen." He nodded toward the only girl in the line stiffly. "And lady." For some strange reason, that made Kara uneasy. _Only one other girl made it that far?_ She leaned forward slightly to see if Mairi noticed, too. _There are only four of us here… Why didn't I notice before?_ "I apologize for the disruption. Hopefully I'm not intruding too far."

"No sir!" they cried back in unison.

The girl looked fiercely determined. Any hope that she might pity Kara and the other young women in her group faded immediately. She worked hard to get where she was; she wouldn't let weaklings soil her claim to fame. Ravus looked entirely bored, his eyes locked somewhere distant and his face drawn into a slight frown. In contrast, her brother's eyes were bright and his lips were pulled into an excited smile. He was nothing but eager to see what the future would bring to their army.

The commander's smile twisted into something much smugger. "I'll set each of you off with a few of the cadets and you'll fight each of them. Later, we'll deliberate on who you see is fit to continue onward."

Graves scowled along with the other commanders, straightening sharply. "But sir, that's not part of the—"

"I have authorization to do whatever I see fit, _Sara_ , or have you forgotten?" He arched one thick eyebrow, awaiting her answer. Graves swallowed, grit her teeth, and stood down, turning her eyes to the horizon.

"No sir. Continue."

"I will." He turned to the cadets next, though he looked only at Kara. "Only a dozen of you are allowed to reach the next rank. That does _not_ mean your journeys are over after this, though. There are roles in our army that need to be filled everywhere beyond the elite. Every piece is important."

"Some more than others," Leo grumbled, straightening his shoulders restlessly.

Kara didn't answer, refusing to break eye contact with the giant before her. The commander stared a moment longer before his lips quirked upward into a smile with a grunt. He nodded toward the higher-ranking soldiers behind him.

"Go in number order. Take your pick of challenge. Remember: the goal is not to humiliate them, but to test their skills." He chuckled, shaking his head. "That said… _Have some fun._ "

A shiver traveled down Kara's spine and she closed her eyes for a moment. _They're only toying with us. Their minds are already made._ Suddenly, she felt sick. _Aloc…_ Leo seemed to realize the same time as her, glancing down at her with a frown. _It's all a sick joke. A play._ She took a deep breath, watching the young woman walk toward her with a scowl on her face. _Guess I'll play my role well if I have to, even if there's no point._

"Come with me, Highwind," she commanded, her voice sharp enough to make Kara wince. _A future in being Graves' replacement._ Kara looked her up and down before following. _What a bright future._

The girl collected Mairi and a mousey boy named Roche before leading them to an open area of the flat stone grounds and crossing her arms. Her short brown hair shined brightly under Tenebrae's midmorning sun and her dark eyes pierced into Kara's with bitter disdain. Kara wrestled down another shiver, a true testament of her strength.

"You're going last, Highwind." The girl looked Mairi and Roche up and down, angled eyebrow quirked. She looked utterly unimpressed with her picks. "What are your names?"

"Mairi Fidelum."

"Roche Vernon."

"Alright, _Vernon,_ let's get this out of the way." The girl summoned a katana to her hand and stepped back, sharp chin lifted. "Quit shitting your pants and get over here."

Roche frowned, getting his own plain sword but refusing to step forward. "What's your name?"

"Mine?" She laughed, throwing her head back. It sounded more like an evil cackle than an expression of happiness. "I'll tell you once I'm done kicking your ass."

"Fair enough," he sighed, stepping forward.

Roche looked serious about wanting to beat her. He swung as hard as he could and scraped his palm on the ground in an attempt to dodge her attacks. He used techniques he learned during training and concentrated hard on his footwork. But in the end, she was too fast, too strong, too merciless. She didn't give him a chance, laughing when he tried to parry a blow but wound up on the ground from the force of her swing. She grinned when he stared helplessly at the blade she held to his throat.

"Are you done, cutie? The grownups need to fight."

Roche's eyebrows twitched together, and Kara glanced at Mairi, her heart aching for him. She didn't look back, face set in anger and irritation. _This girl's really out to humiliate us._

"Y-yeah."

"Good." The girl stretched out a hand and jerked Roche to his feet roughly. "My name's Kylinn. Don't forget it."

"I won't."

Roche let his sword dissolve and stood beside Kara silently, staring hard at the ground. Kylinn lifted her chin, staring down at Mairi with disdain.

"You're next, Feli _dumb_."

"Wow, haven't heard that one before," Mairi grumbled, rolling her eyes.

Kylinn snarled, whipping her blade to knock Mairi's knees out, but Kara's friend was quicker, blocking with her daggers and forcing the katana upward. Kara stifled a smile, knowing full well Leo wouldn't be able to contain his pride in knowing that he was friends with the fastest soldier in Tenebrae.

"Watch it," Mairi snapped, her bright eyes ablaze with irritation. "You can push Roche around all you like, but I won't take that shit from you."

"You want me to disqualify you for insubordination?" Kylinn demanded, attempting to stare Mairi down. She was entirely unfazed.

"Insubordination? You're kidding, right?" Mairi swung at her and narrowly missed. "Since when are you in charge?"

"Since I was put in charge of fighting you—"

"No." This time, Mairi caught the sleeve of Kylinn's jacket, smiling smugly. "You were _commanded_ to toy with a few cadets. You're not in charge of jack _shit_."

Kylinn didn't take kindly to Mairi's words, but it was the tear in her jacket that woke her up. With a gritted cry of anger, she rushed at Mairi, and in mere moments, they were nothing but a flurry of spraying sparks and nonsensical insults. Kylinn was easily stronger and more experienced, but Mairi's darting was something she couldn't quite keep up with. Kara held her breath, waiting for a favorable outcome.

Unfortunately, as she soon came to realize, Kylinn and Mairi were extraordinarily similar in _many_ ways. Mairi got cocky a split second before her elder and it cost her a victory. With a loud shout, she hit the ground and landed flat on her back. Before she could roll over, Kylinn stomped on her chest, breathless.

Kara jumped when she heard slow, sarcastic clapping behind her, turning to see the commander looming over her shoulder.

"Quite a show," he remarked, watching Kylinn as she rolled her eyes and stepped off her opponent. He turned his eyes to Mairi as she dragged herself to her feet, face red with rage. "You're a feisty one, now aren't you. What's your name, cadet?"

"Felidum, sir."

"Good, I'll remember it."

Mairi went from angry to calm in a matter of seconds, straightening and standing back at Kara's side. Kylinn jerked her head, motioning for Kara to stand before her. Unfazed by the commander's presence, the older girl sized her up.

"Tall one, aren't you?" She snorted, shaking her head. "You know what they say: the bigger they are, the harder they fall."

"Is this a new intimidation tactic, Mariner, or are you getting tired?" the commander demanded, crossing his burly arms.

"Neither sir."

"Then get moving."

"Yes sir."

Kylinn lunged at Kara without further warning. Startled, the cadet summoned her lance and parried a blow above her head moments before it made contact. Kylinn moved to hit her again, faking out on the left and swinging on the right. Kara backed out of the way, shifting her lance into a sword to hit back at her at a closer range. She clearly didn't like this, glancing at the commander for his input. He did nothing but smile, laughing when Kara caught her off guard. She stumbled, but caught her balance, parrying twice before swinging at Kara's legs.

If Ravus taught her anything, it was patience. Kara waited for the soldier to get frustrated before tripping her up again. Instead of stepping back like last time, though, she replaced her sword with her spear and leaped into the air. Her body twisted to raise the power behind the blow, and she came down hard, certain Kylinn would move or block or really do _anything._ But she didn't. At the last second, Kara realized she wasn't going to budge and she dropped her weapon, rolling and staggering to her feet inches away from the older girl.

Kylinn shrieked a battle cry, kicking Kara's back and sending her flat on her stomach. She turned over quickly, narrowly missing having her head cut off. A thin line of blood trickled down Kylinn's cheek from when the point of Kara's spear nicked her skin. _No harm done._ She didn't seem to agree, grabbing Kara's collar and lifting her to her feet with one hand as though she weighed nothing. Before she could react, the soldier whipped her sword across the girl's face, sending her onto the ground with a long spray of blood. Mairi shouted, alarmed, and Roche retreated further into himself with a cringe, but the commander was the one to put a stop to it.

"That's enough, Mariner."

"Look what she did!" Kylinn bellowed, turning and pointing to the scratch on her face. The commander pointed at Kara as she forced herself up onto her hands and knees. She could feel heat trailing down her face, could see the crimson drops as they stained the white stones below her. _Ouch._

"Look what _you_ did." Instead of reprimanding his study further, he offered Kara a hand and pulled a rough cloth from his belt. "Keep your face clean, Highwind. That scar will be enough to scare most men away if your legacy doesn't precede you on the battlefield."

"Great," she whispered, holding the cloth to her cheek and scowling at the ground, embarrassed by the attention.

The commander chuckled again, resting one giant, meaty hand on her shoulder. She closed her eyes, taking deep breaths to calm her heart as it cried out in protest to the contact. _This is the man that ruined my life._

"Let's head back to the main line, shall we? The others should be down any moment."

"Hmph." Kylinn tucked her hair behind her ear and pushed past them, nose high in the air and blood drying in place.

Mairi scowled at her back as she left, waiting for the commander to turn away before speaking. "What a haughty little—" She cut herself off, bright red in the face. "Who gave her the _right?_ And why isn't she in trouble?"

"Because she's more important," Kara shrugged, wincing when the cloth rubbed against the cut.

"Bullshit." Mairi crossed her arms, but she said no more, her anxiety overcoming her disgust.

Kara tried to distract herself from the pain, pressing harder on her face to distract herself from her nervousness. If it really was all predetermined… Why was she worried? The commander had been nothing but nice to her since he arrived and she thought she did well, except for her minor slipup. Still, she couldn't help but wonder if that slip up would change his mind, or if her fighting wasn't advanced enough for him. Maybe he was disappointed. _What happens if I can't keep up with Ravus?_

"Are we all here?" one of the sergeants asked, glancing up and down the line.

Behind him, the older soldiers lined back up. Wyn's eyes caught Kara's and he frowned, asking a silent question. She pretended not to see him, staring at the ground. Her palms began to sweat as Graves put them back in order, but Leo didn't seem to care. He pressed his shoulder to hers and took her hand with a reassuring squeeze. She hardly found the strength to squeeze back.

"Good." The scarred commander stood straighter. "I've watched a few fights and spoken to soldiers whose opinions I trust." The look on Wyn's face told Kara he was one of those trusted few; the look on Kylinn's told her she was _not._

"If your name is called, stand up here," Graves continued, jerking her head up to the line of older soldiers. "It's the only time you'll stand at the same level until some of you are leaders together."

Kara closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. The commander started to list off last names, occasionally pointing at cadets he didn't know with a bored expression. What fun was any of this if he couldn't play his mind games with children?

"Fidelum," he called. Mairi struggled to maintain her composure, trembling as she rushed into line, number five of twelve. Two more names. "Fortis." Leo's hand slipped away from Kara's and he joined the line with a smile, nudging his shoulder against Mairi's head. "Highwind, I'm not sure why I haven't called you yet. Get your ass in line."

Startled, Kara obeyed, nearly dropping the cloth that she held against her cheek. Leo poked her back and shot her a proud wink when she glanced up at him. She rolled her eyes, but she couldn't stop smiling. Wyn leaned forward ever so slightly to grin at her as if to say "I told you so." The commander continued to list off names until he reached twelve.

Kara's heart sank when she looked over the remnants of their old group. Aloc stood alone at on end, head hanging and teeth grinding into the side of his cheek. Leo frowned and Mairi stood on her toes, unsure what to do with her pent-up energy. The commander turned to the new line, arms crossed.

"Don't disappoint me, cadets." He started to leave but he pauses after two steps. "Oh, I almost forgot. You older soldiers move up to Third. Fortis, that includes you."

Kara's heart skipped a beat and she and Mairi whipped their heads around to look up at Leo. _But he's not eighteen yet…_ He frowned, glancing up at the group ahead of them in the third rank. As the others stepped back, so did he, keeping his shoulders back and his head held high despite his confusion. _I knew it was coming, but…_ Kara turned to meet Mairi's eyes, her heart sinking. _It's not the four of us anymore. I thought we had longer._

"Does that mean we get another member, sir?" asked Lisa, the irritating girl that had a nasty habit of beating Aloc's ass at every practice spar. "We're at eleven now."

The commander's stare was so chilling that it made her shudder before he turned back to look at the line. After a moment, he turned back to her. "There's no one else here that I believe would be good for this path. You're stuck at eleven, Graiser."

"Yes sir."

Lisa stepped back, unnerved, and the flock of divided cadets watched him go in silence. Once he was gone, Graves turned back to the third rank, refusing to look Kara in the eye. "Good luck surviving this shit." With that, she turned on her heels and left the grounds, leaving them to watch in stunned silence.

Wyn broke the silence with a laugh, shaking his head and turning to "Well, welcome to the next rung on the ladder." Mairi shuffled closer to Kara, watching her brother shake Leo's hand. "Hey, Leo."

"Gods, he's still so cute," she whispered, laying her head on Kara's shoulder. "Those workouts made him even _better._ "

"Stop," the blonde scoffed, turning to Aloc. Quickly, she hurried toward him, followed closely by Mairi. He glanced up at her with an awkward smile.

"Kind of expected, wasn't it?" he asked, hands shaking when he lifted them to cross his arms. Kara shook her head and Mairi rested a hand on his shoulder.

"Not at all," Kara reassured him. "You're strong, Aloc." She turned back to her new line, watching the rest of her rank chatter excitedly. "You should've been number twelve _at least._ "

He shook his head, his shaggy hair swinging sadly. "No. There were others who did better." Taking a deep breath, he straightened, trying to look determined instead of defeated. "But I'm not giving up. One of the older guys said they need more cadets in technology. Maybe I'll try."

"You'd be good at that," Mairi nodded, offering a smile. He smiled back, looking past them to see Leo finally catching up. The biggest and oldest of them all wrestled Aloc away and ground his knuckles into the boy's head. Aloc cried out in protest, trying to squirm away.

" _Leo!"_

"You'll make a good nerd," Leo teased, setting Aloc free. He glanced back at all the others raising an eyebrow. "So… are we free to go until tomorrow? Those burpees kicked my ass into next weekend."

"Same," Mairi replied, yawning. "If we're good to go, we should head to the falls." She flicked Aloc's forehead. _"If_ you don't crack your head open again, idiot."

"I _won't_!" he protested, elbowing her away with one skinny arm. "But I have to talk to one of the sergeants about tech first."

"I have to talk to someone too," Kara nodded, pushing her hair back over her shoulder. The others eyed her curiously, but it was Mairi that spoke first.

"To who? Your brother?"

"Ravus." She ignored the smug look on her friends' faces and hurried back toward the soldiers. "I'll catch you guys at the stairs!"

"Mhm."

She pulled the cloth off her face to see if she could remove it yet, flinching when blood immediately ran down her face and soaked into her collar. She sighed and put the cloth back. Ravus saw her coming a long while away, but he didn't look at her until she was standing in front of him. Before she could thank him for his training, he frowned and motioned toward the cloth.

"What happened?"

"Kylinn. I just wanted—"

"Of course." He sighed, startling her when he reached forward to pull her hand away from her face. The blood began to flow freely again, and he huffed, irritated. "You should get that fixed before you do anything else."

"But—"

"Wyn can take you."

"I don't need someone to take me," she insisted, flinching when he pushed her hand back against the wound. "Do you have a spare potion? I just want to stop the bleeding s0 that I can head to the falls for a bit."

Ravus rose an eyebrow, irritated. "Did you hear a word I said?"

"Yes, but I'm ignoring you." she laughed to herself, shaking her head. "Really, it just stings a little, Ravus. I'm here because I wanted to thank you."

"Thank me?" he repeated, glancing up when Wyn started walking toward them.

"For—"

"Hey, sis!" Wyn threw an arm around her shoulder and squeezed her tightly. "Don't worry, you'll be able to smack Kylinn flat on her ass soon enough."

"I would've if I wasn't afraid of killing her," she scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Ravus, I—"

"Leave the grumpy-wumpus alone," Wyn teased, pushing her toward the stairs. "You made it! Go have fun with your friends, Kara."

"But—"

"Wyn, her head—"

"Stop it!" her brother cried, laughing. "She's alright, Ravus. Kara, _go._ You'll have plenty of time to bother Ravus once you're in the Manor."

"The Manor?" Ravus repeated, frowning.

She pressed her lips together, deciding to take her brother's advice and hurrying away. _I'll have time later._


	11. Manor Manners

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hallelujah by Bea Miller  
> ^^ came out yesterday, gives me goosebumps :P

_There was a time when she wouldn't have to wonder how Luna felt or who she swore her loyalty to. She never had to worry about how the Oracle was doing because she knew she was safe in the walls of Fenestala Manor with them there to guard her._

_But then, seeing Luna speak to the helpless crowds of Accordian people, watching the silver tears stain her cheeks and her knuckles go white from clutching her hands to her chest, she lost her faith._

_Luna was never on their side. She served the gods and the Chosen King alone._

_And how could she fault her?_

* * *

"See you around, losers!" Mairi shouted, waving a hand over her head and splitting down the path to her home. Aloc replied with a half-hearted smile and left to go down his own path.

At Kara's side, Leo waved back and turned to face forward, a grin fading from his face. His eyes flickered up to hers before he turned to the rich greenery around them. He tucked his hands deep into his pockets and took a deep breath.

"I don't know what to do with myself without you guys," he admitted, shaking his hair out of his eyes.

"Train harder than you ever have before?" she suggested, grinning. He scoffed, shaking his head. "Really, though. You'll do great. If you need anything, Wyn has your back."

"Don't I know it," he muttered, laughing quietly. "Honestly, Kara. What's _in_ your blood that makes the two of you so _nice?_ If it were Wyn ranking twice, I wouldn't give two shits about welcoming him into the fold."

"I doubt it's _blood_ ," Kara countered, feeling her face get warm. It was hard to accept that everyone saw her in one of two _very_ opposing ways: the nice girl or the entitled brat. Either way, she hated her identity.

"Maybe it's not." He kicked a stone and they watched it hop down the path and disappear into the grass with a satisfying swish. "What do you think about Aloc?"

"What do you mean?"

"How do you think he's doing?"

Kara sighed, tucking her damp hair behind her ear and turning her eyes to the clear evening sky. The weather had cooled since she'd taken a dip in the falls, where it was perfectly warm enough for swimming. Everything felt like a celebration, but she knew there was one of them that hardly felt like smiling along.

"I think he's disheartened, honestly. I pity him," she admitted. Leo nodded, listening well. "But… I do think that he'll be better in studies than in swordplay. He's always been more brains than brawn."

"Not that you'd think it after listening to the hot garbage that spills out of his mouth," Leo muttered, shooting her a sly glance. She rolled her eyes, laughing, and elbowed him. "Am I wrong?"

"No, but you don't have to point it out."

"And why not? It's the truth, isn't it?"

"Yes, well, _Mairi_ likes to speak the truth, but you can't deny that makes her a _bitch_."

Leo chuckled, running a hand through his hair. "More strong words coming from our resident Mary Sue."

"Gods, Leo, did you forget about my sins already?" she teased, plucking a particularly tall weed off the side of the path and picking the petals off of its bland yellow blossoms.

He snorted, rolling his eyes. "Kara, if the worst thing you've ever done is cheat a little, I'd say your _sins_ are hardly worth noting compared to the rest of the world."

"Sins are sins. Comparison or not, they're all wrong."

"I guess so." Leo paused at the turn for his home. A faint smile traced his lips and his eyes lit up in the light of the setting sun. "Where are you going?"

"The Manor. Wyn told me to meet him there after the falls and I need to have someone look at this," she answered, pointing to the nasty cut on her face that had finally stopped oozing. He nodded with a cringe, turning to head home for the night.

"Right, well, I'll see you whenever I'm free next, I suppose. Have fun with your new fearless leader."

"At least it's not Graves," she pointed out, earning a soft huff and a weak wave.

Once Leo was dead-set on his path home, Kara continued forward, admiring the trees and the beautiful white homes that divided them, covered in twisted ivy and engulfed in brilliant summer blooms. Tenebrae truly was a gorgeous nation; it was a wonder the Empire didn't steal it purely for that reason.

Wyn was right where she left him, sitting alone on the edge of one of the training platforms and leaning back on the palms of his hands. Ravus was nowhere to be seen and the rest of the officials had left for the day. Kara stood behind him, crouching to wrap her arms around his shoulders and squeeze him tightly. Wyn flinched, laughing when he realized it was his sister and reaching up to hold her arms close. She took a deep breath before loosening her hug, but she didn't entirely let go.

"Where's your shadow?" she asked finally.

"Ravus?" Wyn shook his head, keeping his eyes locked on the lush horizon. "Not sure."

"Did you ask about the Manor?"

"Yeah, twice. Today he said your old room is yours to keep until you make a name for yourself."

"Wait, really?" She frowned. _My old room… Why would I be put there?_ "And he's okay with that?"

"He doesn't have much of a say, but it was his choice to bring it up to the authorities that be since I asked him instead of them. He didn't have to if he didn't want to." Wyn laughed quietly. "For as much as you think he doesn't care, he actually cares a lot. Can't help but think it has something to do with Luna."

"Maybe." Kara stood and offered him a hand. He took it, pulling himself up and stretching his arms over his head. _He's a lot heavier than I remember_. She looked back at the manor that towered in the distance. "So… should we head back?"

"Do you need anything from home?"

"I guess. I don't want to go back, though."

Wyn nodded, crossing his arms. For a moment, he was silent, kicking at the ground. Then he spoke, taking a sharp breath. "I have to get a few things from the house anyway. Didn't get the chance to collect them. I can get anything you need."

"Thanks."

They soaked up the painful tension for a while, remembering exactly why he couldn't go home. It was his own fault, but it made them both feel guilty. Finally, Wyn forced his usual smile back onto his face and stepped away.

"Right. I'm headed home then. You can find your way?"

"Through the place of my nightmares? Certainly."

He laughed and hurried off, pale hair bouncing on his head and catching the light of the sun in every step. Kara took a deep breath and turned to the Manor. _A new home… If I can even call it that._ Shaking her head, she walked quickly toward the entrance. Guards lined the pathways, nodding as she passed by. One held the door open for her without question, recognizing her even though she didn't think she'd ever seen him before. _Did Ravus tell them about me?_ Embarrassed by privilege, she lowered her head and nodded thankfully.

The inside was just as beautiful as she remembered it despite the black plague of the Imperials that festered inside. The walls and floors were white, pristine and decorated with incredible paintings and patterned rugs. Guards and servicers of all types walked the halls with purpose in their step and the faint sound of pleasant chatter filled what would otherwise be an eerie silence. Despite the danger lurking all around her, she felt welcome.

Carefully, Kara picked her path to avoid the most contact, afraid of what the Empire's leaders would think of her moving here. The stairs to her old room—her holding cell, more like—were still plush with thick carpet as they were years ago. The rail was still polished enough that she saw her face in its reflection, the air still smelled like cleaner and fresh flowers, and every wall was still covered in photographs and paintings revering the beauty of Tenebrae. It was almost as if the manor was a solid place in time, an alter for the past.

"Miss Highwind!"

"Hm?" Kara looked up, startled to see an older maid hurrying toward her, her dress swishing around her feet. "Hello…"

"Sorry to startle you, dearest. I was hoping you'd come this way." The woman smiled and her face wrinkled. "I'm so happy to have you and your brother here, dear. It's good having old friends about."

"I'm sorry," Kara replied, laughing and toying with a strand of her long hair. "Have we met before?"

"Oh, a very long time ago. I knew your parents well, though, and I'm happy to partake in your upbringing." _Upbringing? Isn't it a little late for that?_

"Well, I'm glad too, then." She offered a smile and looked down the long hallway. _Am I?_ "My room is the same as last time, I believe."

"Yes, it is dear. I'll be just a call away if you need me. Name's Maria."

"Thank you."

With a beaming smile and a wheezing cough, Maria bustled down the stairs and out of sight. Slowly, Kara walked down the hallway to the third door on the left side. Her fingers trailed over the white paint, hesitating, before they grasped the crystal handle and twisted.

The room looked, felt, and smelled the same. The bedspread hadn't changed, the mirror she broke hadn't been replaced, and the windows were still bolted shut. Fresh lavender-filled a tall, slender vase on the floor, brightening the room. But that's not what she noticed was different.

Her heart leaped into her throat, stopping her words from coming out for a long time. Finally, the girl by the window turned around, a soft smile resting on her lips, and spoke.

"Hello, Kara. It's been a long time."

" _Luna!"_ Kara cried in a whisper, closing the door and rushing toward the former princess of Tenebrae. She was careful not to crush the Oracle when she hugged her, squeezing her close. Luna laughed, squeezing her back with her pale, thin arms. When Kara pulled away, she couldn't help but look her over, admiring her shifting dress and the gleaming pearls pinning her hair in place. "You look like a _queen!_ "

"And you a proper soldier," she replied, blue eyes shining brightly. "How is everything going?"

"Fine. Good, actually." Kara stepped back, heart pounding as she tried to gather her thoughts. Laughing, she shook her head. "Gods, it's really you. You've grown so much."

"As have you." Luna folded her hands together before the skirt of her white dress, her smile never faltering. "You look much stronger. That, and you're _much_ taller than I expected you'd be."

"Blame my father's genetics," the young soldier teased, grinning from ear to ear. Her cheeks were beginning to hurt, but she couldn't help herself. "But enough about me. How have _you_ been?"

"Well." The Oracle reached up to brush a small section of her pale bangs aside. "I've been treated well. I've continued studying and speaking with Prince Noctis."

"How are you able to do that?" Kara asked, sitting on the edge of her bed. Luna remained standing in front of the window with perfect posture and a lighthearted expression.

"A book we shared while he was living here. Umbra—my dog—carries it back and forth."

"Your dog?" Kara repeated, amazed. When Luna said nothing to clarify, she changed the subject. "How did you know I would be here?"

"Maria told me," Luna admitted with a quiet laugh. "I'm supposed to be with Gentiana, but she's covering for me this once." She shook her head. The silver moon on the chain looped around her slender neck shook with it. "I'm glad she did. It's wonderful to see a friend."

"Yes, it—"

The door swung open and Kara's heart plummeted into her stomach. Luna's smile faltered, but then it lifted again, brighter before. Encouraged, Kara turned to see Wyn and Ravus in the doorway, though the latter looked less than pleased about being dragged around by her brother. Wyn rushed into the room, tossing a bag onto her bed before throwing his arms around Luna and crushing her into a tight hug. They rocked back and forth, laughing. Ravus's expression soured and he shut the door quickly, watching them embrace.

Kara's heart sank lower upon seeing his reaction. _Shouldn't he be happy to see her for the first time in a very long time?_ When Luna and Wyn separated, her brother scrubbed at his eyes, face splotchy as he laughed and held her out at an arm's length.

"Look at _you,_ little lady!" He twisted to look at Kara, pointing at his face. "Remnants of saying goodbye to the house. Caught me at a bad time."

"Apologies. I meant no harm," Luna replies, though she was laughing, too. She peered over his shoulder to her brother. For a moment, they stared at each other in tense silence. Finally, she spoke. "It's wonderful to see you, Ravus. Are you well?"

"You think this is funny?" he snapped. If smoke could pour from one's ears, it would be coming from his. Her eyebrows twitched together and she frowned.

"No, I only wanted to see—"

"In your selfishness, you've endangered all of our positions," he interrupted, fuming. "You couldn't wait until a _designated_ time?"

"Ravus, I only wanted to see that you're all well," she insisted.

Kara chewed on her cheek and lowered her head, pitying Luna. She wore her heart on her sleeve loud and proud, excited to see them all, and he crushed it without a second thought. Her brother's eyes were cold, chilled with the bitterness of the burden he'd chosen to bear. _But he doesn't have to bear it alone…_

Ravus glared at her a little longer before he managed to unlock his jaw. "I'm calling an escort to take you back to your quarters."

"Ravus!" she protested. She hurried toward him, grasping his arm, but he twisted it free.

"Get off me. Don't try anything like this again. Your _pleasure_ isn't worth jeopardizing our stance with the Empire."

"They won't _care—_ "

"They'll think we're conspiring!" he shouted, pushing her away and throwing open the door. Kara jumped when he raised his voice, but she was quick to pull herself back together.

Acting on instinct, she crawled over the bed and ran after him, leaving Wyn to keep Luna company. "Ravus!" she called. He didn't turn back to answer, taking long, quick strides toward the stairs. Frustrated, she clutched his arm and tugged hard, stopping him in his tracks. When he tried to pull free, she tugged harder, jerking him backward. "Stop it!"

"No, you stop!" he argued, turning to scowl at her. "She's in the wrong and you know it!"

"I don't care!" She pulled him to the side as a pair of confused and fearful women scurried past, keeping their heads low. Realizing that everyone in the halls could hear them, she quieted her voice, pulling him lower by pressing on his shoulder so he could hear. "She risked so much to see you _alive_ after being locked up for _years._ That doesn't mean anything to you?"

"She was foolish to do so," he hissed back, blue eyes burning into hers with boiling anger. "I won't be punished for her folly."

"No, you won't." When he scoffed and turned away, she tugged again. Irritated, he pulled his arm away, but he stayed to listen instead of running. "Ravus, you're her brother. At least prove you care."

"You think I'm _not?"_ he demanded, turning sharply to tower over her. She didn't back down, unafraid. He wouldn't hurt her; all he could do was raise his voice. "Every fight I fight, every _breath_ I _breathe,_ is a struggle to keep her safe! I won't have her come to harm at the hands of these _animals!"_

Realizing that she'd overstepped a boundary, Kara backed off, taking a deep breath. Slowly, she gathered herself before looking back up at him. "I'm sorry. I know it's difficult, but… Ravus, she hasn't seen you in _years._ Physical differences aside, you've _changed._ " With a sigh, she crossed her arms, shrugging. "You were once so welcoming and kind… Things have changed and so have you. That's fine. But you have to be gentle with her."

"She's not a child," he retorted, straightening. With a final, sharp stare boring into her eyes, he turned to head down the stairs. "No one survives off _kindness,_ Kara. You and your brother need to grow up before it's too late."

Hurt by his refusal to understand, she watched him go without another word. The last time she stood in these halls, Ravus Nox Fleuret was a gentle and amicable boy. Somewhere along the lines, he became a bitter, cruel young man. As she watched his back disappear and helped Wyn smuggle Luna out of the room, she began to wonder where it all went wrong—and when it would all finally stop.


	12. The Trial

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You Don't Even Know Me by Faouzia

Mairi collapsed onto her back with a wheeze, drenched in sweat and gasping for air. Her hands folded over her chest and she closed her eyes, exhausted. Kara sat beside her, wiping her face with the back of her sleeve. The sun didn't beat down like it used in the heat of the summer. That time had passed, but the strain on their bodies was enough to make them sweat like it was the middle of July.

"Gods, just kill me," Mairi groaned, rolling onto her stomach to drag herself to her feet. Kara shook her head, watching their new commander—named Xander—instruct a pair of boys on how to better hold their weapons. Somehow, Mairi read her thoughts, crossing her arms with a huff. "It's weird without the guys here."

"Yeah…" Kara shook her head, taking her friend's hand and getting to her feet. "But they're happy."

"Are they?" Mairi tucked her hair behind her ear. "How's Aloc hanging in there? I haven't seen him in _weeks_. I know he's around the Manor a lot."

Kara nodded, summoning her spear to lean against the shaft tiredly. "He's doing well. Says he likes the tech department a lot more than he thought he might." She sighed and her heart skipped a beat when she remembered their conversation from a few days before. "He… said he might get moved to Gralia."

"Wait, seriously?" Mairi scowled, obviously upset. "He can't _leave_ us!"

"He might not have a choice," Kara pointed out. "He has to learn how to work on those _gross_ magitek things and he can't learn that here because we've kept them out."

"That could always change."

"Don't remind me."

As they pulled themselves back together, Xander approached. He was the same balding man that ordered Wyn to execute their mother within their own home, shorter than Kara and built wide with bulky muscles. Every time he'd looked at her, there was a sick twinkle in his eye. The girls knew their trials were coming soon, but they'd always been spread out. Separate so that the cadets are no longer one unit but a collection of individual, suffering souls searching for forgiveness in their actions. It was a sick, rocky sea that they rode, tossed from purpose to purpose.

The commander stopped short, eyeing them as they scrambled to look busy. Clearly, he'd seen enough. "Ladies, you were not _promoted_ so that you could lie about on training time. Come the next tests, I should hope that I don't have to cut you for the embarrassing gap in talent."

"No sir," Mairi replied quickly, going red in the face and straightening. "We wouldn't want that either."

"Then I suggest that you don't let me catch you again." He nodded toward her curtly, crossing his arms. Slowly, a stiff, smug smile crossed his cracked lips and his dark eyes pierced Kara. "On another note, you are aware of the trials, aren't you?"

Kara nodded, uncomfortably rubbing her arms to calm her prickling goosebumps. "Yes. From what I know, they're special tasks each person must complete before moving on."

"Generally, yes." He raised an eyebrow at Mairi, studying her. "More specifically, they are designed to test a foreseen weakness in a soldier and turn it into a strength." He reached out his thick fingers and pinched a strand of Mairi's long, silky hair. She flinched when he tugged, her eyes turning to her shoes. Kara watched, uneasy, as he wound the small girl's hair around his fingers. "For example, Felidum, I suspect that a great struggle of yours is one with vanity. I would then decide to have you shave every last hair from your head, perhaps including your eyebrows. There would have to be a new source of confidence in your life."

"In my skill," Mairi managed, her voice small but strong.

He cracked a smile and let her go. "Precisely." Lifting his chin with unmatched pride, he turned to Kara. "There are some who find too much purpose in allegiance to their homes. When this is the case, I have soldiers remove the thing holding them back. Can you guess what that might be, Highwind?"

Kara's heart skipped a beat and for a moment, she couldn't breathe. An instant passed where she could see nothing but her mother's slumped body and the splatter of her blood against the couches and walls. "Parents," she murmured, blinking the images away. "You have them kill their parents." Mairi was starting to get irritated; Kara could feel the rage radiating off her body.

"You're a smart one," he retorted, cocking his head to the side and sizing Kara up. "And I don't think that over the past few months that your weakness has changed at all. In fact, I've had your trial lined up for weeks."

"Really?" She couldn't help but frown, nervous. _What could he possibly have me do? Kill_ ** _Wyn?_**

"Yes, but there's no need to worry. I think you'll pass with flying colors, Darling."

With that, he left to stand over other cadets and make their hairs stand on end. Kara took a deep breath and shook her head, unnerved. Checking the time, she took her jacket off the ground and turned to Mairi, who stood with her hands clenched at her sides and her eyes burning into Xander's back. Before Kara could speak, her friend whirled around to glare at her.

"Who the _hell_ gave him the right—"

"Leave it be," Kara sighed, shaking her head. "He's in charge, Mairi, whether we like it or not. He can do whatever he pleases."

"Well, it's fucked," she scoffed, crossing her arms. "And I'm sick of watching people pick on you for no good reason. I'd understand if you were a stuffy _bitch,_ but you're not. You've been nothing but tolerant of their bullshit."

"Maybe that's the problem," Kara teased.

Unamused, Mairi shot her a soured look and hurried after her when she headed toward the track to burn the rest of the time away with a run. "I'm serious, Kara. This is bullshit."

"And there's nothing we can do about it," Kara reminded her, tossing her jacket aside and reaching for a timer to strap to her arm. Her friend, short in stature but towering in attitude, rolled her eyes, taking one too. "Suck it up like the rest of us and work your hardest to get past it."

"It's a wonder you're still here," she scoffed, rolling her eyes and watching Kara bend down to tighten the laces of her shoes. "I'd have lost my shit by now."

The blonde laughed, shaking her head, and turned to the long, beaten path into the woods. "It's a good thing it's on me, then, isn't it?"

With that, they take off into the forest, running steadily side by side and keeping their eyes open for any loose stones or roots. There was a lone boy from a younger troop ahead that they helped out of a patch of thorny bushes, but other than that, there was not much to distract them. Kara diligently said goodnight to both Mairi and Leo before heading home.

In the manor, Maria set a large tray of food on Kara's bed for her to eat after her shower. The young soldier dined until she was stuffed and found something to read on the window seat. Sometimes, she found herself reading reports of the battle that overtook Tenebrae four years ago, losing herself in memories of fire, blood, and tears. Reminding herself why she was there.

That night was no different. She read an account from a young soldier's perspective, wondering if he was one of the faces along the walls that watched in helpless silence. If he could have saved them had he just raised his weapon or if he was right to assume the fight fruitless. She spent hours weighing all these "what-if's," and then she went to bed.

The next morning, she knew something was off. She could feel it in her gut. Wyn waved her off, but she couldn't smile. She was too nervous. The cadets lined up as per usual, awaiting any sort of direction. Xander wasn't there. At least, not at first. After the first five minutes, they began to get antsy, murmuring amongst themselves. Mairi leaned forward in line to catch Kara's eye, raising a brow impatiently. She shrugged back, stomach-churning.

After twelve minutes of nothing, their commander showed, his face smugger than ever before and his bald head shining in the sunlight. _Something's wrong._ Smiling, he rocked forward onto his toes, hands clasped behind his back, and scanned the line.

"What's going on?" Lisa hissed beside Kara, irritated. "I thought we were supposed to get more _professional_ further up the food chain."

"Yeah…" is all she could muster, her heart aching. _Very, very wrong._

"I apologize for my tardiness," Xander said finally, though he didn't look sorry in the slightest. "Today is the same as yesterday: find a partner and spar, exercise, etcetera. Get stronger. That said, there are a couple of you that I need to borrow for today." Kara closed her eyes, dreading every moment to come. _That's what this is._ "Highwind and Fidelum. Since you two seem to be attached at the hip, perhaps you can help me _together_."

"Uh-oh," Lisa whispered, a devilish smile parting her lips.

Ignoring her, Kara stepped forward with Mairi as everyone dispersed.

Xander grinned at them with his terrifying, menacing smile and raised an eyebrow. "I hope you remember our talk from yesterday, ladies."

"Of course, sir," Mairi replied. Her eyes narrowed after a moment. "Which part?"

"Well, all of them. I don't speak for no reason. Though, you're smart to ask." He turned sharply and led the way back toward the Manor. The path he took, though, crept around the side of the pristine symbol of pride to a deeper, darker entrance, one that didn't lead to clean floors and glorious architecture. "Highwind, since I feel I understand you best, I'm having you perform your trial first."

Kara's stomach churned and she looked to the broad, bolted doors ahead. "In the dungeons, sir?"

"You'll see why soon enough."

Mairi frowned, glancing up at Kara. "Sir, if you don't mind me asking… You said she's going first because you know her well. What do you mean by that? That you've found a perfect match?"

"Yes, that's part of it." Xander chuckled darkly, his head leaning forward as his shoulders shook. "But you always have to factor in recovery with these things. This isn't a game of favorites, Fidelum. I simply believe that this is a hard-hitting exercise. It isn't pointless by any means, though. Remember that."

 _It certainly seemed as though my mother's death was pointless,_ Kara thought bitterly, though she didn't let those words out. Instead, Kara took deep breaths of the fresh air as long as she was able, trying to calm the backflips of her stomach and the sweat the made her palms slick. The guards at the door to the dungeon nodded respectfully and stepped aside, unlocking it with heavy keys and pressing hard on the thick wood to let them inside.

The dungeon was dark and built with black stones like something out of a tragic fairytale. Thick iron bars blocked the prisoners from escape, leaving them to lie in flat wooden beds or sit on rough bricks as soldiers passed by to gawk and poke fun at their misery. Kara, too, gawked, though she tried to do so discreetly. Men and women of all ages paced cells alone, gaunt and exhausted. She could tell none of them were from her country, and therefore, they must have been prisoners of war.

Xander led them deeper into the prison, complaining about the stench of urine, and stopped before a cell that was blocked by a pair of guards. He turned to them with another menacing grin. "Here we are, ladies. Highwind, step forward." Kara did as she was told, trying her hardest not to squirm. "We have here a young woman, a spy, from King Regis's personal army of protectors. Take a look."

The guards stepped aside to show a woman shackled to the wall. Her body leaned forward, limp with exhaustion, and her clothes were mere shreds that rendered her almost entirely naked. The floor was splattered with dried blood and various tables were littered with tools that could only be used for torture. For a moment, Kara thought she might faint.

"Don't worry, Highwind. They've wrung all they can out of her." Xander stepped forward, jerking his head. The guards unlocked the door and the woman's head rose slowly, her bloodshot eyes boring into Kara's. They didn't let go, even when Kara looked away. "Your job is much simpler."

"And that is?" she asked, her voice flat and dry. Mairi hugged her arms to her body, eyeing the torture tools with disgust.

Xander turned and raised a dark eyebrow at Kara. "I only want you to kill her. One little stab of that spear through her body and she's done for."

"Stab?" she repeated, turning back to the woman. "But… Isn't there a quicker way?"

"Oh, certainly." His eyes went dark and his face turned grim. He reached one heavy hand out and placed it on her shoulder, staring. She shuddered. "But that's a choice _you_ made, now isn't it? It's hardly helpful to train you to kill without the weapon you've been learning. The spear tends to elicit… _crunches._ "

Slowly, he stepped back. Kara's audience—her commander, Mairi, and the two guards—didn't make a sound, watching her back as she stared at the woman. _She's the enemy,_ she told herself, trying to distance her heart from the pity and the pain. The woman stared harder than she'd ever seen anyone stare before, never blinking. Reminding herself why she was there, Kara took a deep breath and summoned her spear to her hand, finding the smallest comfort in its weight. And then the woman spoke.

"You're a puppet, you know that?"

Kara was taken aback for a moment, startled by the sound of her voice. It was raw and raspy, but _strong._ Despite her appearance, she had plenty of life left in her. One could hardly call this a mercy kill. "I'm sorry?"

"Don't humor her," Xander commanded. Kara heard the words, but they didn't register, her mind now completely fixated on the prisoner and who she was.

"You do what they say without asking why, you have no values of your own, and you don't have any _grasp_ on what who fighting for." The spy narrowed her eyes, huffing out a bitter laugh. "I bet that if that man told you to get on your hands and knees and lick the peasants' _shit_ off his boots, you would do it just to earn a little praise."

"On the contrary, I know what I'm fighting for."

"Is it the right thing?" The woman lifted her chin, determined. "You kill me now and you accomplish nothing. A fulfilled order that leads to nothing but an innocent death."

" _Highwind_ —"

"You wouldn't be here if you were innocent."

"No?" The spy cackled, rolling her head back to reveal a nasty scar on her throat. "Care to explain how _my_ side has the _Chosen King_ if we're evil?"

Confused, Kara shook her head to clear her thoughts and stepped forward. _Obey._ She took a deep, _deep_ breath this time, counting to five before letting it go. In her moment of emptiness, she acted, raising her weapon and preparing to strike. The shriek the prisoner released hurts her heart more than her ears, startling her into stillness.

" _I have a baby!"_ she cried, tears pooling in her eyes. "Didn't you ever have a mother?!" Kara froze completely, her mind going haywire with confliction. "Don't you know what it's like to live without her?!" Wailing, the woman struggled against her shackles in vain. And then she laughed, rolling her fiery eyes back up to Kara's. "And who killed her, huh? What sick son of a _bitch_ stabbed _her?_ Must've been a real gross _fucker_ to steal that from you _._ "

After hearing her speak, Kara didn't feel confused anymore. Her teeth grit together, her face contorted into a scowl, and her arm shot forward as if released from the tension of a tightly compressed spring. The woman gasped, startled by the movement and overwhelmed by the pain. The tip of Kara's spear was buried in her chest, no longer visible. Blood spurted from the wound when she pulled the weapon free.

"You know _nothing_."

Even as she died, the woman didn't turn her eyes away from Kara's, refusing to back down. It took only a few seconds, but it felt like a lifetime before her body shuddered and gave up, hanging forward. A black puddle formed around her feet and matching splatters stained the cadet's hands. Kara's mouth turned dry and she stepped back, alarmed that her shoes were swimming in blood. Mairi pressed a hand to her back in silent comfort as Xander applauded.

"Quite a show, Highwind."

"And what was the point of it?" Kara demanded, unable to take her eyes off the growing puddle.

"The point was the act itself, but I wasn't so worried about you following orders. It's the aftermath that's your trial."

Without another word, Xander stepped outside the cell and headed back the way they came from. Mairi scoffed and tugged on Kara's arm, muttering something about stupid assholes. _I'm no different._ Kara stumbled along after her, dragged from the cell and away from the woman she killed—the mother she murdered.


	13. The Chancellor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unfortunately, I will not be updating next weekend because I have exams and I want a final chance to salvage my grades. See you in two weeks!!
> 
> My Heart's Grave by Faouzia

Kara’s heart pounded in her ears, muffling all other sounds. The sun felt too bright when she stepped outside, burning her skin and making her want to crawl back into the shadows to hide. From what, she wasn’t sure. The heat? Maybe. Herself? More likely. Mairi pinched her arm to get her attention. Her flinch turned into a shiver.

**test broooooooooo**

“Hey, are alright?” she whispered, keeping her eyes on Xander in case he looked back.

Kara nodded, taking a deep breath. “Yeah.” When her friend shot her a quick, doubtful look, she sighed. “Mairi, she was a _mother_ —”

“That’s what he _wants_ you to remember,” she hissed, pulling Kara’s arm to give her a slight jerk. “She was the _enemy_ , Kara.”

“She was a _person._ ”

“Kara—”

“If you’ll excuse me, Commander, I would _love_ the opportunity to speak with your protégés.”

They shut up immediately, startled by the new voice. A tall man dressed in strange layers of patterned scarves and ruffled sleeves stood in their path, his amber eyes dim beneath the brim of his black, velvety hat and a slight smile gracing his handsome, stubbled face. Mairi raised her eyebrows, clearly impressed.

Xander stopped short, his hand firing upward to his forehead and forming a stiff salute. “Chancellor Izunia! A surprise seeing you here, sir.” Unsure how to react to seeing their newest figure of power, the second in command to the Emperor, the girls bowed their heads ever so slightly, shoulder to shoulder.

The chancellor waved dismissively, his smile shifting to one laced with pride. “The pleasure is all mine, Xander.” Kara couldn’t help but feel sick seeing his face, knowing that he ordered the execution of their families. _Good thing Ravus isn’t here._ “Now, if you don’t mind…”

“Of course, sir.” Xander looked at them sternly before leaving to direct his soldiers in their training.

Chancellor Izunia eyed the girls carefully, his smile remaining where it started and his hand raising to lift his hat. “A pleasure meeting these young ladies, to be certain.” Swinging his hat down toward his stomach in a grandiose gesture, he bowed, lifting his eyes to Kara’s. She shivered. “You may call me Ardyn in personal settings such as these.”

“Thank you… Ardyn,” she replied uneasily. Her stomach was tight, churning, and her hands were trembling. It was too much to take in at all once.  
  


“You must be Kara Highwind,” he continued, straightening and putting his hat back in place.

“I am.”

“And you are…?”

Mairi blushed, taking the hand he extends. “Mairi Fidelum, sir.” She giggled when he pressed a kiss to her knuckles. A spark of anger heated Kara’s chest. _What are you_ ** _doing_** _?_

“Wonderful to make your acquaintance. Perhaps I’ll see more of you if you’re able to climb the ranks?”

“I certainly hope so,” she replied, hugging her arms to her body.

Ardyn smiled and turned to Kara. He didn’t seem to notice her hatred. “Miss Highwind, on the other hand, I’ve heard many things about.”

At that moment, she decided charm would do her better than snide comments. She stood straighter, smiled, and toyed with her hair. “All good things, I hope?”

“Mostly. I hear the occasional jealous complaint, but nothing heartbreaking, I assure you.” He cocked his head to the side, lifting his chin. “Your cousin Aranea has proven to be quite the model soldier.”

“I’m sure.” Kara suppressed the urge to roll her eyes. It had been a long time since she’d heard Aranea’s name, and she liked to keep it far from her. She suspected those that disliked her assumed she was like Aranea: cocky and reckless. “I haven’t heard much about her successes recently, though. Is she officially part of the Empire’s army?”

Ardyn chuckled, shaking his head once. “We’re still working on her. Currently, though she’s an impressive mercenary taking on her own quests. Sometimes those are in the aid of the Empire. Someday I hope to have her in charge of an aerial fleet.”

“I see.” Kara took a deep breath, glancing at Mairi. “And is that what you hope I will become? A leader?”

He hummed, his eyes flickering to the horizon before returning to hers. “Miss Highwind, to make any assumptions I’d have to know a fair bit about you.”

“It seems you know quite a bit, actually. More than I’d guess for a stranger.” Her smile was genuine, if not a bit smug. Ardyn shook his head, but he didn’t look irritated. In fact, he looked entertained. “If you don’t mind me asking, what are your plans for me?”

“For you? Apologies: I can hardly keep track of every soldier here.”

“Kara,” Mairi whispered, uneasy.

Kara ignored her, pushing harder. She knew this was all preplanned, based on a design this man and his superior threw together to conquer the world. She refused to back down until he answered her—until she knew how far the plan went. “All due respect, Ardyn, I’m not asking you to. You hope that Aranea will lead a fleet. You also know that I have a reputation that precedes me.” She shrugged one shoulder and let an innocent smile overtake her expression. “And so, I ask where you hope I will be beyond these years.”

Mairi held her breath, but Ardyn didn’t seem to take offense. His smile spread into a grin and his quiet laughter filled the silence. Kara couldn’t help but feel accomplished.

Finally, he collected himself. “You’re a sharp young woman, Miss Highwind.” He took a breath, turning to look at the training center—at the land he conquered not long before. “And for the sake of fairness, I cannot say this will any guarantee. Consider my words with the weight of a rumor.” His eyes turned back to hers and his face grew serious. “You will likely lead legions throughvictorious battles. Your infamous bravery will get you there inevitably—I _hope._ ”

His words took the edge off her pain momentarily and pride swelled her heart. _Infamous bravery…_ “Thank you, sir.”

“Of course.” Ardyn straightened his outer coat and adjusted his hat one last time. “That was all I needed for now. Thank you for indulging me.” He nodded toward Mairi, his voice a slow, smooth croon. “Good luck, _Felidus_.”

With that, he was gone, his coat sweeping the heels of his boots with every brisk step he took toward the path to the Manor. They watched him take his long, strong steps a moment longer before turning to look at each other. Mairi was red in the face, but it was no longer the girlish blush she wore moments before.

“How _dare_ he?!” she hissed, stomping a boot on the stone and crossing her arms tightly. “The _nerve_ of that man to come marching across _our_ land and—”

“Mairi, cool it,” Kara warned under her breath, flashing a smile at a commander that walked past. She arched an eyebrow and nodded stiffly, turning her eyes to the chancellor’s back before passing by. She knew this wasn’t her business.

When they were in the clear, Mairi continued. “You can’t tell me that wasn’t _unbearable._ That’s the guy that ordered an army to bring Tenebrae to _ruins_ for another nation's king!”

“I know.” Kara took a deep breath. Suddenly, his tales of infamous bravery don’t feel so good. To have such infamous bravery and to lead legions… It all meant more bloodshed. The woman’s eyes returned to her mind and she blinked them away with a jolt, startled. Her skin broke out in a cold sweat; she shivered.

“Are you alright?”

“I will be.” She shook her head and forced herself to look up at her. “Do you think… what he said I’ll be…”

“Do I think it’ll happen?” Her voice was gentler, laced with understanding. She took a deep breath and reached out to squeeze Kara’s arm. “Well… Even if you don’t become a commander or anything like that…” She laughed to herself quietly, shaking her head. “I know you’ll be famous for your bravery, Kara, and that’s what your father would take pride in.” Kara’s lips pressed into a thin smile and she nodded, pulling away. “I guess we should get back now.”

“I guess.”

~|~|~|~|~

The chill was bitter, digging deep fangs into Kara’s skin and sucking away at the heat in her body, draining her. She shuddered, hugging her arms close to her chest. Her clothes were rags, rough with dried blood and ashy from burns. She could see nothing beyond the spotlight hanging over her head; everything outside the white ring was black.

Even with no future in sight, she carried on, leaning into the freezing wind and letting the light illuminate the way. After hours and hours of walking, nothing came. She persisted. Maybe was stubborn; maybe she was stupid. She kept going, fearing the dark, to be sure, but fearing death even more.

Suddenly, her light turned off with an echoing click. The chill vanished. She floated in nothingness, unable to feel the ground beneath her feet any longer. There was no air—she could not breathe, and everything felt… _okay_. Everything was at ease. Still. _Silent._ And, for once, it felt good.

A scream pierced her ears, shattering her peace and throwing her onto the rough ground harshly as though she was nothing but a child’s forgotten toy soon to be replaced by another. The light flickered on only to reveal the woman, the one she killed, running at her. She grabbed Kara by the remains of her tattered collar and slammed her onto her back. The woman’s nails tore into Kara’s skin, leaving clawed trails of blood, and her wails bring tears to Kara’s eyes. She was just as bloody as she remembered, though now she adorned a gaping, gushing hole in her chest—the wound she inflicted. The murder she committed.

Finally, the woman spoke, throwing out an arm to point. “There she is!” she cried. Kara lifted her head off the ground to see a shadowed silhouette in the distance, hunched over the same light that follows her wherever she went. “She’s alone now!” The woman slammed Kara’s head back down and pounded her angry, swollen fists into her body, screaming. “ _You ruined her!_ ”

Kara couldn’t move, bearing the pain of her blows with tears heating the chilled skin on her cheeks and blood spreading like a warm, crimson blanket over her struggling body. _My punishment for my sin._ She turned her eyes back to the silhouette, watching her between the punches thrown at her face and listening to her sniffles that leaked through her mother’s enraged cries. _She’s alone now._

_She’s just like me._

_I deserve this._

_Murderer._

_Selfish, selfish murderer._

_I deserve to die._

Kara awoke with a sharp gasp, sitting upright and swiping at the sweat that drenched her from head to toe. On instinct, she felt her face, inspected her hands, tugged at her shirt. Nothing. The light of the moon shined through the thin curtains over her window and the rest of the room glowed faintly along with it. There was no _nothing,_ no spotlight, no dead woman.

Shaken up, she headed to the bathroom to rinse her fa

Kara's heart pounded in her ears, muffling all other sounds. The sun felt too bright when she stepped outside, burning her skin and making her want to crawl back into the shadows to hide. From what, she wasn't sure. The heat? Maybe. Herself? More likely. Mairi pinched her arm to get her attention. Her flinch turned into a shiver.

"Hey, are alright?" she whispered, keeping her eyes on Xander in case he looked back.

Kara nodded, taking a deep breath. "Yeah." When her friend shot her a quick, doubtful look, she sighed. "Mairi, she was a _mother_ —"

"That's what he _wants_ you to remember," she hissed, pulling Kara's arm to give her a slight jerk. "She was the _enemy_ , Kara."

"She was a _person._ "

"Kara—"

"If you'll excuse me, Commander, I would _love_ the opportunity to speak with your protégés."

They shut up immediately, startled by the new voice. A tall man dressed in strange layers of patterned scarves and ruffled sleeves stood in their path, his amber eyes dim beneath the brim of his black, velvety hat and a slight smile gracing his handsome, stubbled face. Mairi raised her eyebrows, clearly impressed.

Xander stopped short, his hand firing upward to his forehead and forming a stiff salute. "Chancellor Izunia! A surprise seeing you here, sir." Unsure how to react to seeing their newest figure of power, the second in command to the Emperor, the girls bowed their heads ever so slightly, shoulder to shoulder.

The chancellor waved dismissively, his smile shifting to one laced with pride. "The pleasure is all mine, Xander." Kara couldn't help but feel sick seeing his face, knowing that he ordered the execution of their families. _Good thing Ravus isn't here._ "Now, if you don't mind…"

"Of course, sir." Xander looked at them sternly before leaving to direct his soldiers in their training.

Chancellor Izunia eyed the girls carefully, his smile remaining where it started and his hand raising to lift his hat. "A pleasure meeting these young ladies, to be certain." Swinging his hat down toward his stomach in a grandiose gesture, he bowed, lifting his eyes to Kara's. She shivered. "You may call me Ardyn in personal settings such as these."

"Thank you… Ardyn," she replied uneasily. Her stomach was tight, churning, and her hands were trembling. It was too much to take in at all once.

"You must be Kara Highwind," he continued, straightening and putting his hat back in place.

"I am."

"And you are…?"

Mairi blushed, taking the hand he extends. "Mairi Fidelum, sir." She giggled when he pressed a kiss to her knuckles. A spark of anger heated Kara's chest. _What are you_ ** _doing_** _?_

"Wonderful to make your acquaintance. Perhaps I'll see more of you if you're able to climb the ranks?"

"I certainly hope so," she replied, hugging her arms to her body.

Ardyn smiled and turned to Kara. He didn't seem to notice her hatred. "Miss Highwind, on the other hand, I've heard many things about."

At that moment, she decided charm would do her better than snide comments. She stood straighter, smiled, and toyed with her hair. "All good things, I hope?"

"Mostly. I hear the occasional jealous complaint, but nothing heartbreaking, I assure you." He cocked his head to the side, lifting his chin. "Your cousin Aranea has proven to be quite the model soldier."

"I'm sure." Kara suppressed the urge to roll her eyes. It had been a long time since she'd heard Aranea's name, and she liked to keep it far from her. She suspected those that disliked her assumed she was like Aranea: cocky and reckless. "I haven't heard much about her successes recently, though. Is she officially part of the Empire's army?"

Ardyn chuckled, shaking his head once. "We're still working on her. Currently, though she's an impressive mercenary taking on her own quests. Sometimes those are in the aid of the Empire. Someday I hope to have her in charge of an aerial fleet."

"I see." Kara took a deep breath, glancing at Mairi. "And is that what you hope I will become? A leader?"

He hummed, his eyes flickering to the horizon before returning to hers. "Miss Highwind, to make any assumptions I'd have to know a fair bit about you."

"It seems you know quite a bit, actually. More than I'd guess for a stranger." Her smile was genuine, if not a bit smug. Ardyn shook his head, but he didn't look irritated. In fact, he looked entertained. "If you don't mind me asking, what are your plans for me?"

"For you? Apologies: I can hardly keep track of every soldier here."

"Kara," Mairi whispered, uneasy.

Kara ignored her, pushing harder. She knew this was all preplanned, based on a design this man and his superior threw together to conquer the world. She refused to back down until he answered her—until she knew how far the plan went. "All due respect, Ardyn, I'm not asking you to. You hope that Aranea will lead a fleet. You also know that I have a reputation that precedes me." She shrugged one shoulder and let an innocent smile overtake her expression. "And so, I ask where you hope I will be beyond these years."

Mairi held her breath, but Ardyn didn't seem to take offense. His smile spread into a grin and his quiet laughter filled the silence. Kara couldn't help but feel accomplished.

Finally, he collected himself. "You're a sharp young woman, Miss Highwind." He took a breath, turning to look at the training center—at the land he conquered not long before. "And for the sake of fairness, I cannot say this will any guarantee. Consider my words with the weight of a rumor." His eyes turned back to hers and his face grew serious. "You will likely lead legions throughvictorious battles. Your infamous bravery will get you there inevitably—I _hope._ "

His words took the edge off her pain momentarily and pride swelled her heart. _Infamous bravery…_ "Thank you, sir."

"Of course." Ardyn straightened his outer coat and adjusted his hat one last time. "That was all I needed for now. Thank you for indulging me." He nodded toward Mairi, his voice a slow, smooth croon. "Good luck, _Felidus_."

With that, he was gone, his coat sweeping the heels of his boots with every brisk step he took toward the path to the Manor. They watched him take his long, strong steps a moment longer before turning to look at each other. Mairi was red in the face, but it was no longer the girlish blush she wore moments before.

"How _dare_ he?!" she hissed, stomping a boot on the stone and crossing her arms tightly. "The _nerve_ of that man to come marching across _our_ land and—"

"Mairi, cool it," Kara warned under her breath, flashing a smile at a commander that walked past. She arched an eyebrow and nodded stiffly, turning her eyes to the chancellor's back before passing by. She knew this wasn't her business.

When they were in the clear, Mairi continued. "You can't tell me that wasn't _unbearable._ That's the guy that ordered an army to bring Tenebrae to _ruins_ for another nation's king!"

"I know." Kara took a deep breath. Suddenly, his tales of infamous bravery don't feel so good. To have such infamous bravery and to lead legions… It all meant more bloodshed. The woman's eyes returned to her mind and she blinked them away with a jolt, startled. Her skin broke out in a cold sweat; she shivered.

"Are you alright?"

"I will be." She shook her head and forced herself to look up at her. "Do you think… what he said I'll be…"

"Do I think it'll happen?" Her voice was gentler, laced with understanding. She took a deep breath and reached out to squeeze Kara's arm. "Well… Even if you don't become a commander or anything like that…" She laughed to herself quietly, shaking her head. "I know you'll be famous for your bravery, Kara, and that's what your father would take pride in." Kara's lips pressed into a thin smile and she nodded, pulling away. "I guess we should get back now."

"I guess."

The chill was bitter, digging deep fangs into Kara's skin and sucking away at the heat in her body, draining her. She shuddered, hugging her arms close to her chest. Her clothes were rags, rough with dried blood and ashy from burns. She could see nothing beyond the spotlight hanging over her head; everything outside the white ring was black.

Even with no future in sight, she carried on, leaning into the freezing wind and letting the light illuminate the way. After hours and hours of walking, nothing came. She persisted. Maybe was stubborn; maybe she was stupid. She kept going, fearing the dark, to be sure, but fearing death even more.

Suddenly, her light turned off with an echoing click. The chill vanished. She floated in nothingness, unable to feel the ground beneath her feet any longer. There was no air—she could not breathe, and everything felt… _okay_. Everything was at ease. Still. _Silent._ And, for once, it felt good.

A scream pierced her ears, shattering her peace and throwing her onto the rough ground harshly as though she was nothing but a child's forgotten toy soon to be replaced by another. The light flickered on only to reveal the woman, the one she killed, running at her. She grabbed Kara by the remains of her tattered collar and slammed her onto her back. The woman's nails tore into Kara's skin, leaving clawed trails of blood, and her wails bring tears to Kara's eyes. She was just as bloody as she remembered, though now she adorned a gaping, gushing hole in her chest—the wound she inflicted. The murder she committed.

Finally, the woman spoke, throwing out an arm to point. "There she is!" she cried. Kara lifted her head off the ground to see a shadowed silhouette in the distance, hunched over the same light that follows her wherever she went. "She's alone now!" The woman slammed Kara's head back down and pounded her angry, swollen fists into her body, screaming. " _You ruined her!_ "

Kara couldn't move, bearing the pain of her blows with tears heating the chilled skin on her cheeks and blood spreading like a warm, crimson blanket over her struggling body. _My punishment for my sin._ She turned her eyes back to the silhouette, watching her between the punches thrown at her face and listening to her sniffles that leaked through her mother's enraged cries. _She's alone now._

_She's just like me._

_I deserve this._

_Murderer._

_Selfish, selfish murderer._

_I deserve to die._

Kara awoke with a sharp gasp, sitting upright and swiping at the sweat that drenched her from head to toe. On instinct, she felt her face, inspected her hands, tugged at her shirt. Nothing. The light of the moon shined through the thin curtains over her window and the rest of the room glowed faintly along with it. There was no _nothing,_ no spotlight, no dead woman.

Shaken up, she headed to the bathroom to rinse her face with trembling hands. In the darkness, she looked into the mirror and stifled a startled cry. The swollen, bloodied, bruised face of the woman stared back at her with dead eyes. Behind her stood the silhouette of the girl, her head hung low and her shoulders slumped forward. Kara blinked, breaths unsteady, and they vanished.

"I'm sorry."

She sighed, sitting on the seat in the window and letting her head fall back against the pillows. Her eyes turned to the moon, searching for any sign that someone could hear her. Praying that her parents could. The thought made her eyes go blurry with rising tears and she squeezed her eyes shut, hugging her knees to her chest and burying her face.

"I'm so sorry."

ce with trembling hands. In the darkness, she looked into the mirror and stifled a startled cry. The swollen, bloodied, bruised face of the woman stared back at her with dead eyes. Behind her stood the silhouette of the girl, her head hung low and her shoulders slumped forward. Kara blinked, breaths unsteady, and they vanished.

“I’m sorry.”

She sighed, sitting on the seat in the window and letting her head fall back against the pillows. Her eyes turned to the moon, searching for any sign that someone could hear her. Praying that her parents could. The thought made her eyes go blurry with rising tears and she squeezed her eyes shut, hugging her knees to her chest and burying her face.

“I’m so sorry.”


	14. Guilt Trip

_The power behind the fiery bombs rattled the earth and noxious fumes from the explosions seeped into the air with devilish hisses. She pressed her back to the dirt wall, crouched low in a makeshift trench with her shirt pulled over her nose and her blood, sweat, and tears proving there was life left in her trembling body._

_A man screamed as another blast catapulted him into the hole, his body still as it crumpled against the ground and his empty eyes stared into hers. Choking on her terror, she closed her eyes and threw her head back to the sky._

_This wasn't what she meant when she prayed for peace to come sooner rather than later._

* * *

There's nothing quite like looking up with the full expectation of seeing a friend's face only for it to be replaced with someone else's. It was only for a split second, but as Kara turned with a smile to tell Mairi a story about a dog she'd seen that morning, she realized that it wasn't Mairi at all. Her skin was gray, her hair was stringy, and her clothing was tattered. Her body was caked with blood and her eyes were empty. She was the woman, her first kill.

And when she blinked, she wasn't. Mairi noticed her change in expression and asked what was wrong; Kara brushed her off with a flippant joke about a bug.

She picked at a loose thread in her jacket, trailing behind Mairi and Leo on the lightly trodden path through the greenery. She wasn't sure where they were headed. Leo said his commander told their troop about a new structure built just for members of the army, but she couldn't say she was paying much attention. She couldn't stop thinking about the woman, even all those days later. What had she done to deserve such an end? She hadn't chosen her birthplace, had she? A momentary image of a child's shadow caught her eye and she flinched, startled.

"Hey, slowpoke!" Mairi called, turning to walk backward. Kara forced a smile onto her face, raising an eyebrow. "Yeah, you! What're you dragging your feet for?"

"I don't know," she lied, shrugging and picking up the pace. "Must be more tired than I thought."

Leo scoffed, shaking his head. "Don't let the generals catch you saying that. They'll put you down like a chocobo with a broken leg."

"I won't," she assured him with a soft smile, though it faded quickly when she turned her eyes back to the path.

Of course she was tired. She'd been training relentlessly without the luxury of sleep. She'd hardly call tossing, turning, and sweating her way through nights full of bloody women and endless guilt good bouts of rest. _I'll power through. It has to fade eventually._ She hugged her arms closer to her body when a rough wind whipped through the trees and stung her skin. _How else will I climb the ranks?_

"I think this is it," Leo announced, coming to a stop. Kara looked up to see a twisted series of curled iron gracefully bending to create an arm between two marble pillars. The words among the metal ivy leaves were golden, beaming proudly in the light of the evening sun. "The cemetery."

"It certainly has a flair that the plain one doesn't," Mairi sniffed, but even she stared at the display in awe, absently reaching out a hand to pluck at the tall grass lining the path.

Leo nodded, glancing down at Kara. "Ready to go in?"

"Yeah." She nodded back, took a deep breath, and stepped onto the packed dirt path.

Proud slabs of marble etched with the golden names of even prouder men lined the front, placed neatly in long, spaced rows. Some had fresh flowers; others had nothing but soft green grass. Fifty feet down the straight path, a proud sign pointed sharp arrows in the diverting directions of the differing nations. The initial piece belonged to those who died for the Emperor. Those beyond belonged to soldiers of Tenebrae.

Kara expected to look beyond and see plain, rounded stones roughly carved with names and dates of those who once fiercely defended their land. The gentle silence that enveloped them like a warm, heavy blanket told her Leo and Mairi also found great comfort in seeing the same marble headstones and the same scattered flowers.

"It's crazy that we got the same treatment," Mairi muttered, heading straight for the Tenebrae half. Leo nodded, following.

"I heard the chancellor listened to a few older guys' reasoning and said it was alright for us to have to same honor. Said it was because we didn't know any better, but I'll take the favors where I can get them, insults or none."

"It's beautiful," Kara murmured, standing at peak of the division and looking out over the freshly trimmed field.

Beyond the marble headstones were plain ones on either side, far beyond in the distance. The graves of foot soldiers and cadets. _Gray's out there somewhere._ Kara focused back on the front few rows. _And our parents are here, too._

Leo seemed to read her mind, jerking his head toward the end of the path. "Your father's is further down."

"Let's go pay old Kain a visit, shall we?" Mairi teased lightheartedly, looping her arm through Kara's and pulling her along the pristine path.

They walked until they spotted it, a stone just like all the others with _Kain Highwind_ engraved in curling letters across the front. Kara paused, unsure how to behave, before carefully stepping onto the grass and kneeling, brushing her fingers over the fresh petals of the sylleblossoms that were recently left behind. _Wyn… Are you finally learning to show him respect?_ She scoffed to herself, withdrawing her hand. _His father's stone must be here, too. His new one, anyway._

"General Kain Highwind, honored for his leadership and devotion to Tenebrae," Leo read aloud, crossing his arms. "That's all? The man taught the _high commanders_ how to fight."

"They can hardly fit all his feats on one stone," Kara replied, wrestling a proud smile at hearing someone else revel in her father's great accomplishments. The engraved words had sharp edges; somehow, it was comforting to run her fingers over them, to know that somehow, she was connected to him here.

"Well, they _could_ , but they'd need a much bigger rock," Mairi teased, squatting down beside Kara and hugging her knees to her chest. "Maybe someday we'll be buried out here in the front."

"Yeah, right," Leo snorted. "If I ever become _that_ important to these _imbeciles,_ kill me. I'd rather die by Tenebraean hands than be worked to death by foreign slave drivers."

"Yeah…" Kara stood, taking a deep breath. "It's odd… Every child that's been born these past few years will have no understanding of life before. We've just barely made the cutoff."

Mairi scoffed, tugging at her hair. "And look what that gave us: bitter hatred."

"It gave us a reason to fight," Kara reminded her, shoving her hands into her pockets. "Have you ever—" Her voice cut off when she looked up. Her heart stopped for a moment before it began to pound in her ears, deafening her to the rest of the world.

A gray, gnarled hand sprang from a distant grave, loosening the earth and dragging out a shaking, bloodied body with it. Black, matted hair broke the surface and two bloodshot eyes met Kara's, refusing to look away. _She survived?_ The rotting woman took a deep, rasping breath of air and clawed her way onto the grass. Even this far away, Kara could hear her hissing voice in her head.

" _An eye for an eye."_

"Kara?" Kara gasped when Mairi shook her shoulder, startled. Her friend raised her eyebrow when she looked at her with a fearful expression. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"What do you mean?" she demanded, turning sharply to look back at the woman. "Don't you s—"

There was nothing but smooth, bright grass. No crumbling dirt, no undead women, no voices. Kara blinked to refocus her vision, to be sure she was seeing things right. Still nothing. Leo scratched the back of his head, unnerved.

"You see something?"

Kara shook her head slowly, turning back to them. It was hard to look at their confused expressions, so she looked past them to the manor. "No, I guess not."

"You sure?" Mairi leaned to the side to see past her again. She wanted to know what Kara was hiding. Leo only looked again in hopes that she wasn't losing her mind. "Yeah, there's nothing there, Kara. Maybe a bird's shadow looked weird or something."

Kara nodded, forcing herself to laugh. "Yeah, maybe. Must be going crazy." _Nevermind the fact that we haven't seen a single bird out here._

Leo laughed uncomfortably, rubbing the back of his neck. "Maybe we should leave, hm? Before we're cursed by a ghost or something freaky like that."

"You're afraid of _ghosts?_ " Mairi teased with a grin. Leo shrugged and shoved his hands into his pockets before turning to lead the way back down the path.

"Maybe. You never know; maybe a rotting Imperial soldier will hear us talking smack and haunt us."

"It'll only haunt you, _Leonard."_

Leo's face sours upon hearing his full name. "Why's that?"

"Because…" Mairi twisted a shiny strand of hair around her finger and curled her lips into a sly smile. "You're the cutest one here."

"Gods," Kara snorted, crossing her arms tightly to fend off a round of shivers. Leo's ears turned red and he quickly turned his face around so that they couldn't see it. Mairi _cackled._ "I feel like there's a special place in the afterlife for people like you."

"What did I do?!" she demanded in a shrill voice, though her words stumbled through her laughter. Clearly, she'd found a new love for getting reactions out of their mild-mannered friend.

"Toying with a boy's feelings like that." She shook her head in mock shame and Mairi shoved her.

"For the record, there are no _feelings,_ " Leo called back, shoulders hunched defensively.

"Mhm." Kara rolled her eyes and focused on his back. She was afraid of what she'd see if she looked out at the field or if she dared to blink. Who knew where the woman hid within her subconscious mind?

After they made it out of the graveyard, Kara bade them farewell and turned tail back to the manor. Lower ranked cadets were just being set loose for the day, chattering amongst themselves and making introductions. A smile crossed her face. _We used to be like that. Just four strangers trying to survive._ It was funny looking back. Mairi had been so mild-mannered at first, afraid to show her true colors. Aloc stumbled over his words and blushed each time they looked his way, and Leo played the tough guy. Kara was the annoying one that forced them to stick together.

Shaking her head, she wrestled the smile away as she passed Xavier, giving a slight, curt bow and hurrying up to the towering doors. The inside was much calmer than the outside with fewer people walking about and a higher standard of appearances. Maids stepped out of her way as she passed, nodding when she offered them each a smile.

She intended on going to her room to lie down and stare at the ceiling for a while, but those plans changed when she saw Ravus. His strides were shorter and slower than they would be if he had been in a rush. Kara paused, wondering if she should tell him about her trial. She only managed to force out a small "Hey!" when he passed. Their eyes met for half a second and he nodded in silent greeting, clearly intent on continuing.

Realizing she was about to miss her chance, she stumbled over a few stammered words and reached out to clutch his arm. He stopped short, startled by the sudden resistance.

"Wait," she said quietly. He glanced around the hall, wary. "Can we talk privately?"

"I suppose. Most things you have to say shouldn't be heard by others."

"You're funny," she scoffed, retracting her hand and stepping back. Awkward and unsure, she crossed her arms. "Do you know of a place? I figure you wouldn't want to go to a bedroom."

Ravus raised an eyebrow, looking back at her once more. "I'd have no problem if not for _other's_ speculations."

"I know that. You don't strike me as the self-conscious—"

"And yes, there is. Follow me."

 _Rude._ She huffed in mock irritation, but truly she was relieved that he'd even agreed to speak with her in private. With quick steps, they hurried through the halls, making turns she'd never made and finding places she never knew existed. They passed a small indoor training center for upper-level soldiers and she struggled to keep herself from gawking.

Ravus finally turned into a small, dark alcove and pushed open a pair of heavy wooden doors. The light of the sun nearly blinded her as it poured in through the opening. She shielded her face and followed him onto the narrow balcony. Once her eyes adjusted, she couldn't help but stare at the horizon. The overhang faced the opposite side of the city, highlighting only the gorgeous, wild forest that surrounded their land. The sun cast a rich, golden glow across the tops of the trees and enveloped them in a warm blanket of light. _Is this his hiding place?_

"What did you need?" Ravus asked, pressing his elbows to the marble railing and watching the thin, wispy clouds pass overhead.

Kara hesitated for a moment, unsure where to start. "My trial—"

"The spy?"

Kara's mouth hung open for a second. She couldn't help but stare at him in shock, her mind empty of anything but wonder. Upon hearing her silence, Ravus glanced over his shoulder with a raised eyebrow.

"It was Kylinn's idea."

" _Kylinn?!"_

His eyebrow twitched upward, a sure sign that her shrill voice was fraying his impatient nerves. "Yes. The higher ranks get the _pleasure_ of suggesting trials for the class below."

"But _why_?" Troubled, Kara joined his side, wringing her calloused hands around the rail. "Isn't that a bit cruel?"

"It's better than killing anyone you care about."

Kara's eyes shot up to his, her heart stinging, but he looked away to the horizon. Shaking her head, she sighed. "I suppose…"

"Is that all you wanted to talk about?"

"Well, I…" She closed her eyes and took a moment to collect her thoughts. "Xander said that my real trial began after I killed her. And I think he was right." She chewed on her cheek, nervously twisting her hands around and around. The mere thought of the things she'd seen over the past few days made her stomach churn. "I can't stop seeing her, Ravus. She and her daughter… They haunt me."

"Her daughter?" Ravus's brow furrowed and he spared her another glance. "Kara, you never saw—"

"That doesn't mean anything," she argued. "Wyn took our mother and I took hers. We're just as bad as one another." She was beginning to feel sick, unable to erase the woman's dead eyes from the back of her mind. "It's my punishment."

"It's your _trial_ ," he reminded her. The huff that began his words told her that he was on edge, irritated that she was so fragile. _Was it supposed to be easier on me?_

Embarrassed by her weakness, Kara shook her head and retreated, turning her eyes to the ground below and pressing her elbows closer to her body to get away from him. The fresh air suddenly felt suffocating. She was invading his safe space. Ravus picked up on her shame almost immediately, and much to her surprise, he eased off.

"But if that's how you choose to see it, I suppose I understand."

A faint smile broke through Kara's fear. For the moment, she'd had enough attention. "What was yours?"

"I had to fight each of the commanders," he replied, shrugging every so slightly. "One by one, of course. Something to do with pride."

"You _can_ be a bit proud when it comes to your victories," Kara teased. Ravus scoffed at her smug smile.

"Why shouldn't I be? I earned them."

"I guess. It doesn't put you in anyone's good graces, though."

"How would you know?"

"Everyone assumes that's who I am," she pointed out. "I'm either too soft or everything I do comes across as the actions of a cocky brat."

"Clearly Xander found more substance in the former."

Kara frowned, running her fingers over a ridge in the marble. "Do you think so?"

"That you're soft?" The look Ravus shot her told her it was obvious she should feel the same way. A taunting smile tugged at the corners of his lips and his eyebrows raised high. "You and your brother are of the same breed."

She laughed quietly, shaking her head. "We're not _that_ similar."

Ravus turned back to the skyline. "You are."

"How so?" Kara prodded. Ravus didn't take the bait, answering with a shake of his head. "Fine. Keep your secrets."

"I will." He straightened and the moment of happiness passed as he redirected the conversation. "Is that all you needed to say?"

"I guess. I just…" Exhausted, Kara buried her face in her hands and clawed her fingers through her hair. "How do I get her to go away? I haven't slept, I can't think, and I see her _everywhere._ "

Ravus didn't answer. In fact, it seemed like he didn't hear her speak at first. His eyes remained on the sunset, his body frozen in place. Kara frowned and leaned forward to catch his eye. _Are you okay?_

Suddenly, he took a sharp breath. "Focus on the future. Her death is one of many, mandated by the Empire." His sharp eyes met hers, but instead of hatred, they were filled with hope. "Every death will be avenged as soon as we have the opportunity. Until then, sacrifices must be made to get us there."

Kara knew he wasn't _exactly_ right, but somehow, seeing him feeling better made her feel better, too. She smiled and nodded, reaching out to lay one of her hands on top of his.

"Thank you."


	15. Elitist

"Please rise in honor of our next generation of elite soldiers."

The rustling of uniforms and thud of adjusting boots filled the cool, fresh air. Commanders, cadets, and mid-ranks alike stood shoulder to shoulder, staring at the line at the front of the gathering with a mixture of pride, disdain, and boredom. The head commander, the giant man with the scarred face, grinned and swept an arm toward the line as if the crowd didn't already understand who they were—who they were destined to become.

Aloc's whooping cheers broke the respectful silence and one of his skinny arms broke above the heads of the crowd. Mairi and Leo held their composure well, shaking their heads ever so slightly or looking away with thin lips. Kara, on the other hand, couldn't hide her smile, giggling at his antics. She was overwhelmed with pride in knowing she'd earned her way here and joy in knowing that her father would have shed proud tears seeing his children as two of the dozen chosen to be the face of the army's power.

After the crowd began to dissipate, the line of twelve stepped off the stairs that served as a stage over the rest of the soldiers. At the end, Wyn, Ravus, and Kylinn chatted. Leo said something that made Wyn throw his head back in howling laughter before he joined Mairi and Kara at the other end and wrapped his arms around their shoulders and crushed them against his body in a tight hug.

"You're smashing my nose!" Kara whined, tugging her face free from his collarbone. Leo scoffed, smacking the back of her head lightly.

"Be grateful I'm letting you hug him," Mairi retorted, her voice muffled.

Leo let them both go, but Mairi stood on her toes to reach up and press a kiss to his lips. _They should be more careful._ Kara crinkled her nose and looked away from the couple to wave to Wyn. He waved back, but he was quickly drawn back into the conversation between Ravus and the bitchy girl he'd begun to call one of his closest friends. Kara was too elated to care at the moment, turning back to her friends. _Seriously?_

"Alright, break it up," she huffed, punching both of their arms until they broke apart. Mairi whispered something and shot Leo a wink. He laughed and shook his head.

"Are they being gross again?" Aloc asked, strolling up with all the confidence he'd gather over the past three years. It turned out that what he'd needed to gain a small boost was a specialty in which he thrived. "Get a room, guys."

"But not now," Kara insisted.

"Oh, look. The dork arrived." Leo threw an arm around Aloc's shoulders and crushed him into a quick hug. Mairi rolled her eyes. "How've you been, man?"

"Great!" Aloc laughed, adjusting his glasses. "Even better seeing you guys up there. You look _awesome_ together. Kickass group."

"Yeah…" Mairi shot Kylinn a look and Kara swatted her. "Hey! You don't like her either."

"Don't _stare._ "

"Whatever." Mairi flicked her hair out of her shining eyes.

"What now?" Leo asked, adjusting his jacket.

Kara took a breath to speak, but her words got stuck as she caught sight of a familiar silhouette. He was impossible to miss, piled with scarves and frills. His hat shielded his face from the sun and his reddish hair shined beneath it, poked out around the edges. Mairi joined the silence, stepping up to Kara's side and frowning.

"The chancellor?" she whispered. Leo turned to see what they were staring at and Aloc rubbed his eyes. "Why's he here?"

"That's what I wanna know," Aloc huffed.

Kara shook her head, hugging her arms close and smoothing down the goosebumps on her arms. "Well, he owns us, doesn't he?" That put shameful, worried frowns on all their faces.

"I guess." Mairi choked on air when the chancellor turned to face them, grasping Leo's arm and hiding behind him as he approached. "Gods, fucking kill me now."

"Hopefully he's just here to suck up to Kara," Aloc murmured, shooting Kara a pleading glance. She sighed and shook her head. "Please?"

"I have no control over that."

"But _still_ —"

Chancellor Izunia was too close. Aloc straightened and shut his mouth, clutching his hands together and shifting his weight. Quickly, Kara pressed a manufactured smile to her lips and bowed. Her friends followed suit, pressed shoulder to shoulder. Ardyn raised an eyebrow, a smug smile creeping across his face.

"Welcome, Chancellor Izunia," Kara said in her sweetest voice, making sure to meet his eyes. "A pleasant surprise."

Ardyn's smile grew and he bowed back, tipping his hat. "Please. The pleasure's mine." He straightened and swept his arm toward Wyn, Ravus, and Kylinn. "I'm here to scope out the new leaders of my army."

"Leaders?" Aloc squeaked. Mairi jammed her elbow into his ribs and he jumped, eyes wide behind his glasses.

Ardyn paid him no mind, staring at the three older members of her class a moment. He turned back to the four of them. "That is what the elite ranks are for, correct?"

"Yes, sir," Leo replied. His voice was much firmer than Aloc's, laden with a strange mix of blind confidence and caution.

"And when does your education begin?" the chancellor asked, arching an eyebrow. Kara's smile faltered. _Education?_

"Sorry," she stammered, shaking her head. "Do you mean training?"

"No, I mean education." Ardyn turned and jerked his head at the scarred commander, who promptly dropped what he was doing to join them. "Am I believe you will raise an elite army without teaching your soldiers anything but sword-slinging?"

"Of course not, sir." The commander scowled at Kara and her friends. "I don't know what they said, but if it's anything of that nature, they'd do well to understand who it is appropriate to _tease._ "

"We weren't—!" Aloc started.

The commander cut him off with a sharp look. "Silvum, you don't belong here, do you?"

Aloc ducked his head. "No, sir."

"Get back to the labs, then."

"Yes, sir."

His eyes met Kara's for half a second before he turned tail and scurried back to the bowels of the Manor. Mairi was _fuming_ behind Kara, hands curled into fists. Leo nudged her as a signal to cool off, but she pushed him back. Sighing, Kara, met the commander's eyes. _It's up to me_ ** _again._**

"I'm sorry, sir. We didn't realize there was a study portion of this."

"Of course there is," he retorted, though he wasn't harsh. "No soldier wins the battle without any sort of tactical knowledge."

"Of course, sir." She turned back to Ardyn, forcing her smile to stay. "I'm very sorry if we gave you the wrong impression. We are taking steps to advance our abilities."

"What steps?" Ardyn asked, arching an eyebrow and raising a hand to silence the stammering commander. Kara straightened and wrung her hands behind her back. _I can't screw this up…_

"Well, we've all been instructed to move into our new quarters together by tomorrow. We have access to specialized training for our weapons of choice. And, of course," she added slyly, gesturing toward the commander, "there are the classes to enhance our minds alongside our bodies."

"Good." Ardyn's lips curled into a menacing smile and he tipped his hat toward the commander. "It's a good thing you've upped your standards. This is a much better group than the last. Looks like they might live longer too," he added under his breath. Kara's heart skipped a beat and she glanced toward her friends. _Live longer?_ Before they could begin to grasp what he meant, he swept his arm to the side and lowered himself in a deep bow. "Regardless, it was a pleasure seeing you, students. I hope to see you again."

With that, the chancellor stepped past them, heading toward the Manor with purpose in his stride. Mairi lowered her head and kicked at a stone; she was clearly holding her tongue while her commander was near. The commander shook his head and crossed his arms, though he didn't speak. It was Kara that broke the silence.

"What will happen to those that didn't make it this far?"

He raised an eyebrow and glanced toward the chatting cadets scattered across the grounds. "They'll probably stay as foot soldiers and be sent to the front lines. All the commanders you've had thus far are those who failed to cross this threshold." Nodding stiffly, he stepped away. "If you'll excuse me, I have a meeting to attend." With that, he left and Mairi heaved out the breath she was holding.

"I swear to the gods I'll kill that man someday."

"The commander?" Leo frowned, uneasy at her volume.

"No, the chancellor," she snapped, crossing her arms tightly. "I'm sure he can do what he damn well pleases, but watching him treat the man who _earned_ him this land like _shit_ doesn't bode well for our futures."

Kara sighed and looked to the treetops. _She's not wrong._ "How weird will it be to be in _school_ again?" she murmured. Leo scoffed, shaking his head. "I haven't sat in a desk since I learned how to read and write."

"Me either," he admitted, scratching at the back of his head. "I hope we learn something _interesting_ at least."

"I don't doubt that they'll fill our head with Niflheim propaganda," Mairi grumbled. Leo patted her back gently and jerked his head toward the Manor.

"Wonder what's going on in there."

"Probably talks of fighting," Kara pointed out, uneasily rubbing her arms. "I hear the borders have been quiet for far too long. No progress has been made on either side."

"Izunia certainly is eager to conquer the world, now isn't he?" Mairi added in a snarky voice.

Leo nodded. "I wonder when it'll be enough for him."

"They're an Empire, Leo. Nothing will be enough until they own the whole damn world." Irritated, Mairi stepped away from her boyfriend and tightened her ponytail. "I need a break from this scene. I think I'll pack for a bit and then meet you all at the grounds for the dinner."

"Sounds good," Leo replied, watching her go. He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck as he turned to Kara. "She's a handful sometimes."

"She's always been a handful." Kara smiled faintly, trying to ease the tightening of her stomach. "Are you happy?"

"Of course." He chuckled and shook his head. "I am, yeah. I think I'll go pack to pass the time as well."

Kara bade him goodbye and watched her brother converse with his friends. She wanted very badly to go talk to him and Ravus, but with Kylinn there, there was no way she was going to approach uninvited. She took a deep breath and squared her shoulders before turning toward the path to the waterfall. If that was all the peace she could get, she would take it.


	16. Elementary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> May or may not have spent most of this chapter cackling...
> 
> That said, this chapter is in no way meant to shame anyone. Just a young group of friends joking around like a young group of friends :)
> 
> Enjoy!

_She would give anything to feel the ache in her wrist from writing too many notes and the numbing of her legs from sitting too long; to have difficulties in concentration replace her loneliness and her sorrow; to feel light, no matter how artificial, on her face._

_Her breath came out in bursts of steam that were only visible by the light of the moon. In the distance, daemons danced in the darkness, howling at their victory in poisoning the entire surface of Eos. She poked at the dying embers of her fire, but she knew it was too late._

_The light was gone, and it was never coming back._

* * *

"This is the only reason those damned Lucis witches can bend the elements to their wills." The lanky, wrinkly professor stood straighter, whipping the wooden pointer toward the chalkboard and scratching at an invisible circle around the picture of the glittering Lucis Crystal. Kara winced, clenching her teeth in an attempt to take the edge off of the awful sound.

"Gods, that's horrific," Wyn muttered behind her. His seat creaked when he leaned back.

"I'd ramble a bit longer, but fortunately for you, we're out of time for today," the man continued, scratching at his pointed beard and adjusting his thick, round glasses. "And I don't want to stand here any longer, so if you have questions, save them for later. Don't forget: the exam's tomorrow."

"How convenient," Mairi grumbled, catapulting her chair back onto its four legs and using the momentum to stand. "What a prick. Acts like this aren't what he signed up for."

"To be fair, it's _not_ what he signed up for," Kara reminded her with a sly smile. She closed her notebook full of doodles, notes, and scribbles and tucked it under her arm.

Ravus stood at the back of the room, eyes glazed as if he'd been zoned out for the duration of the class. She couldn't blame him; the two-hour lecture consisted only of a weaselly man talking shit about Lucis and whining about his tension headaches that the students somehow caused him. If she'd learned all this as a child, she'd be zoned out too.

Wyn broke her from her thoughts by smacking her back and making her jump. Irritated, she rolled her eyes and shoved his shoulder, but the reaction only made him laugh harder. Concealing her smile, Mairi waved goodbye and quickly followed Leo out of the room. Kara's heart ached for freedom as she wondered whether they were off the study together or waste the time doing something fun. Either way, she'd rather be with them than stuck in her previous commitments.

"Ready to hit the books?" Wyn asked, grinning from ear to ear. Kara sighed and shook her head. "Oh, c'mon. We'll know everything there is to know about the _damned witches_ in a few hours."

"That'd be wonderful if I felt I _needed_ to know that," she retorted, stepping around him to stand before Ravus. "You'd better help me stuff all this nonsense inside my head."

Ravus raised an eyebrow, pushing his chair in. He hadn't brought a single thing with him to class. "I'm not entirely sure how you expect me to do that."

"By teaching me?" she sang out, swaying as a smile crept onto her face. If he had just spent a _moment_ away from dreaming of revenge, she might have coaxed a small smile from him. Instead, he shook his head and held open the closing wooden door.

"I'd have to move too much air-headed nonsense out of the way first."

" _Hey_!" Kara punched his shoulder as she walked through the doorway. "You don't get to be _mean_ to me just because you're smart and I'm not."

"You're plenty smart, Kara, you just keep your only two brain cells far away from each other," Wyn teased, tugging on her ponytail and skipping out of her reach when she went to swat at him.

Inside, she was bubbling with laughter and relief for the light-hearted conversation. Outside, she scowled and pouted. "You're both so rude to me sometimes. It's hardly fair."

"What, can't fend for yourself?" Wyn knocked his shoulder into hers and gestured toward the looming library doors that stood closed down the hall. "Is it because you're a _girl_?"

"It's because you're _pricks!_ " She gave him a good shove and he stumbled into the wall, still laughing. Ravus hung behind, taking no part in their playful fighting as he'd already done his part in fueling it. He didn't look like he regretted the instigation, though.

Wyn shook his head as his giggles wore off and he pushed open one of the library doors. He glanced back over his shoulder and spoke in a hushed voice. "Where should we sit?"

"Why do you even ask? It's always the same table," Kara pointed out, bouncing the door off her elbow for Ravus to pass through behind her.

Wyn mocked her under his breath and led the way up the stairs and through shelf upon shelf of books until they reached the very back corner of the library where they could disturb only each other if they talked. Kara threw her books onto the table and Ravus shot her a disapproving look that Wyn snickered at.

"Lighten up, man. This place is dead. Everyone else is dicking around outside."

"Because it's _nice_ out." Kara threw a pointed look at the window to her left, pouting at the warm sunshine and happy cheers of cadets getting a spare moment to themselves. " _I'd_ like to be outside dicking around."

"Yeah, well, girls that fail their exams don't get outside time," Wyn teased, patting her notebook.

With a crinkled nose, Kara sat down and turned to her notes. Really, they were a mess of jumbled thoughts, practiced signatures, mocking drawings of their teachers, and shameful attempts at real sketches. The mixture of horror and disgust on Ravus's face had the siblings cackling.

"It's no wonder you failed," he finally said, leaning across the table to try and make sense of her handwriting. "What is a 'moan-arch?'"

"Shut up," Kara laughed, leaning back in her seat. "Ravus, I haven't been in school since I was _ten."_

He puffed out a breath, retreating. "I can tell."

"Can you help me?"

"It's as simple as memorizing the material," he shrugged. "There's nothing I can do to help that."

"Quiz me." She pushed her notebook toward him and sat straight with her hands folded together on top of the table. Wyn shook his head with a smile and cracked open his book, eager to be somewhat productive. "It'll be like a pretest."

"A pretest?" Ravus eyed her a moment longer. She nodded toward the notebook again, wrestling a smile. She couldn't help pushing him around a bit; it was fun. "Fine." He didn't touch the notebook, crossing his arms over his uniform—the uniforms they were forced to wear any waking moment they stepped outside of their rooms—and lifted his chin defiantly.

"Good." Kara wiggled restlessly in her seat, eager to prove she'd paid attention.

"In what year did Insomnia isolate itself from the rest of the Kingdom of Lucis?"

Kara paled, stumbling over her words as she tried to recall. _When did we_ ** _ever_** _learn that?_ "Um… Pass."

Wyn choked, turning his face so she couldn't see him smiling. Ravus didn't miss a beat.

"Seven twenty-five. What was the name of the previous king of Lucis?"

"Previous as in…?"

"Before Regis." Ravus spit the king's name like poison, but his face was calm if not impatient.

"I—" Kara laughed nervously and shook her head. "I don't—"

"Mors Lucis Caelum, the one hundred and twelfth king."

"Ravus, why do I need to know this?" she demanded, exasperated already.

"Because it's important." Ravus tilted his head; he was mocking her now. "When did all established nations align their calendars and begin the modern age?"

Kara threw a finger at him, grinning confidently. "That's a trick question! They've always been aligned!"

Wyn couldn't hold back his laughter anymore when Ravus cracked and a smile marred his stern expression. Her heart sank when he reached forward and pointed at the dates listed on the page in the notebook that lay in plain sight.

"Year _one._ You may want to at least attempt reading these before the exam."

"Yeah," she sighed, shoulders slumping in defeat.

"How about this?" Wyn sat up straighter. "You study quietly for thirty minutes and then we can take a break."

Kara nodded, pressed her lips together, and stared hard at her notes. She fidgeted, bouncing her feet, shifting her weight in her seat, and gnawing on her cheeks, but she read for as long as she could in silence under the irritated scowls Ravus shot her every now and then when the toe of her shoe would knock against his. No matter how hard she tried to memorize the material, it wouldn't stick. Her mind always wandered to other things and her notes didn't make anything easier. After around twenty minutes, she dropped her pencil to stop her scribbling and broke the silence.

"Nothing's sticking."

"Maybe your brain just doesn't wanna learn," Wyn suggested, setting his book down and crossing his legs on his seat. The bench he and Ravus shared tipped and he righted it, laughing at his friend's startled expression. "Did I give you a good spook, Ravus?"

Ravus ignored him and pulled Kara's notes back toward himself. Flipping through the pages, he stopped on one and raised the paper so she couldn't see.

"Ravus, I can't do this," she protested with a groan, rolling her head back.

"Just one question, Kara."

She huffed and propped her chin up on her hand. "Fine. I get to ask you one question, too, then."

Ravus frowned, sure that he'd already proven himself knowledgeable. "… Sure." His head jerked to swing his hair out of his eyes while he read. "How much has daemon activity increased in the last century?"

"I dunno. Like, seventy?"

"Seventy _what_?"

"Just seventy," she groaned, laughing hopelessly into her hands. "What's the answer?"

"Three-hundred percent."

"Whoa, really?" Wyn leaned over to look at her notes. "Is that right or did she make a number up?"

"It's right," Ravus replied, sliding the notebook across the table to Kara.

"That's insane," her brother scoffed. He closed his book, waiting for Kara to quiz the stellar student beside him. "What's your question, Kara? Gotta pick a tricky one."

"I didn't say what kind," she pointed out. Ravus's emotionless exterior crumbled as he went to protest. "Ah-ah," she interrupted, holding up a finger. "You said I could ask a question, so let me think of a good one. It'll help us get to know each other better."

Kara closed her eyes, thinking hard. There had to be something that would get under his skin… An idea struck her and she couldn't contain her giggles. _He's going to hate me._ Ravus sighed, knowing he was in for trouble.

"Come on," Wyn urged, grinning. He was eager to know how she planned to fluster him, too.

"Okay, okay, okay." Struggling to contain her snickers, she reached out. "Hold my hands."

"Why?" Ravus demanded, sure this was some sort of trap. "What are you doing?"

"Just do it. Trust me."

"No."

"Ravus." Kara pouted, begging. "I'm not going to hurt you."

Ravus glanced at Wyn before giving in with a huff. His hands were warm, rough with callouses from years of training. She closed hers around his and cleared her throat, ready to take on a very serious tone. He was uneasy, and she reveled in every second she could get.

"This is very important, I promise."

"Kara, just spit it out already!" Wyn whined.

She stumbled over a short fit of giggles that threatened to break her composure. Thinking of his reaction was making her sweat. "What's your body count?"

Wyn nearly toppled out of his seat, howling with laughter, but Ravus only frowned.

"My what?"

"Body count?" Kara was laughing now, though she was much more controlled than her brother. "Do you know what that is?"

"I thought it had something to do with killing, but _his_ reaction tells me otherwise."

"Ravus!" Wyn scrubbed at the tears in his eyes, clapping a hand down on Ravus's shoulder. "She's asking how many people you've slept with."

If Ravus was one to roll his eyes, he would have. Instead, he jerked his hands away from Kara's and leaned back in his seat, irritated by their antics. Wyn broke again, clapping his hands loudly. Kara hushed him, giggling at the shade of red that steadily overtook the prince of Tenebrae's face.

"Come on, answer!" she pleaded, kicking Wyn under the table. "I'll tell you mine."

"Whoa, _you_ have one?" Wyn demanded, sobering up rather quickly. She ignored him, forcing Ravus to meet her eyes.

"I already know your answer," he muttered, glancing away to see if anyone was coming to hush them.

" _You knew?_ " Wyn punched Ravus's shoulder playfully, but he was getting annoyed. "I swear to the gods if it's _you two_ that—"

"Ugh, gods no." Kara mocked a gagging sound. Ravus's nose crinkled and he shot Wyn a look that read "Are you serious?"

"Okay, good." Wyn sank back in his seat and crossed his arms. A smirk tugged at his lips. "Kara, I know his."

"You do?!"

Ravus shook his head, refusing to take part. Wyn grinned and nodded, nudging Ravus's shoulder.

"But I'll only tell if you tell, too."

"Okay, easy." Kara's heart skipped a beat when she gave him her answer, but she stifled her pain under her laughter. "Only one: Gray. You had to have known that."

"Gray?" Wyn repeated. He shook his head. "I suppose I should've. It's been _three_ years?"

She shrugged him off. "His?" Kara shifted her weight around, giddy to dig a little deeper into Ravus's life. Ravus crossed his arms and waited.

"Four, possibly five. He won't talk about the last one." Wyn nodded when Kara raised her eyebrows. "I know. Impressive when there are only, like, six options in this entire city."

"Damn, alright," Kara teased. Ravus was going red again. "We've got ourselves a little player!"

"That's the last time I tell you anything," Ravus muttered to Wyn, earning a laugh.

"You only wish it was."

"Okay, now it's your turn, Wyn." Kara leaned forward with a devilish smile. "How many?"

Wyn threw his hands up defensively. "Whoa, I never agreed to be a part of this."

"You agreed when you so easily dished out your best friend's secrets." She cocked her head to the side as he stammered. "Go on."

"It's really not that big a deal as your making it, Kara."

"Then why do you care so much?"

"I don't—"

"What is it, _big brother_?"

" _Kara."_

Ravus piped up, breaking the silence. "One. It happened a month ago."

Wyn's eyes went wide and all he could do was shove Ravus, lost for words. Kara was elated that she'd been able to turn Ravus against her brother and effectively get out of studying with a simple question.

"Who?" she asked, eager to torture her brother a little longer. "Please, Ravus, I _need_ to know who took his v-card."

Ravus cracked a smile when Wyn got on his knees to beg for secrecy. Revenge truly was his favorite game. "Kylinn."

" _No._ " Kara's mouth hung open in shock and Wyn fell onto the carpet, melodramatically burying his face in the floor. "Wyn, you're joking! _Kylinn?!_ "

"Hey! Don't start getting all haughty about it!" he cried. He sat up and threw an accusing finger at Ravus. " _He's_ already gone for sloppy seconds!"

She wasn't sure how to feel about that. No, actually she was. She wished she'd never asked. Grimacing at the thought of the two romancing that unbearable bitch, she pulled her notes closer and made sure they saw her disapproval, _especially_ Ravus.

"I expected more from you," she muttered. He shrugged.

"She's not that bad of a person."

"Well neither are you, but I wouldn't _fuck_ you." Wyn turned to Kara sourly. "He's only saying that because they're _talking."_ Clearly bitter, he crawled back into his seat. "Talk about a match made in heaven."

"Wow," was all Kara could muster.

Suddenly, she felt drained. There was no more exciting conversation that could pick her up from her new low. It was an odd feeling that way so suddenly, but she didn't care to find out why. All she knew was that she didn't feel like talking anymore. Taking a deep breath, she stilled her mind and read about Eos's history. It was time she learned to keep her mouth shut.


	17. The Outsider

" _Kara wake up!"_

Kara jolted awake to the sound of her door slamming into the wall behind it. Mairi ripped off her blankets and tugged on her arm. Dazed, Kara shook her friend off and rubbed her eyes. When her vision cleared, she saw that Wyn and Leo were waiting in her doorway, silhouettes in the light of the hall behind them.

"What's going on?"

"Get your uniform on," Mairi pleaded. The panic in her eyes was alarming enough to make Kara get moving. She quickly threw her uniform on over pajamas. As she tightened her belt, she hurried toward her brother.

"Wyn, what's happening?"

"I—"

They stepped into the hallway together and Wyn's voice was drowned out in the sudden bursts of shouts that erupted from the floor below. Kara's heart pounded against her ribcage and her skin broke out in a cold sweat as she searched for an answer. A door down the hall opened sharply and Ravus stepped out. He spotted them and joined quickly, face written with equal confusion.

Mairi leaned over the stairway railing, face pale. "Guys, all the commanders are down there."

"Should we go?" Leo asked, uncertain.

They all looked to Wyn and Ravus, begging the more experienced soldier for an answer. The two exchanged looks before Wyn nodded and led the group down the spiraling steps to the main hall. From the other wing, Kylinn and Lisa emerged, sleepy like the rest of them.

"Mairi," Kara whispered, grabbing her friend's arm and tugging her closer. "Why is everyone awake?"

"Leo woke me because he heard the maids screaming for help," she muttered, shuddering when the commanders turned to eye the gathering group of training elites. "Something bad happened—that's all I know."

"What's going on?" Kylinn demanded, crossing her arms. Her normally smoothed hair was messy and her eyes were heavy with dark circles. She looked ready to kill a man.

Graves was having none of it, her scowl sharped by the deep shadows of the dim hall's lighting. "I'll forgive the disrespect this once," she grumbled, turning to face the gathering class she'd grown to despise. "Why are you here?"

"Because there's a _mob_ down here," Kylinn retorted, throwing an arm out toward the commanders, guards, and grounds-caretakers. "And we have a right to know what's happening as people who _live_ here."

"You have no _rights,_ " Graves argued, but she turned to ignore the girl. Kara raised her eyebrows at Leo and Mairi; how had she gotten away with that?

"Where's the high commander?' Wyn asked, lowering his head between Ravus's and Kara's. Ravus shook his head and Kara chewed on her lip.

She stood on her toes to see over the heads in the gathering crowd, but she couldn't make out the commander's imposing build. _Weird…_ When she sank back down, Wyn shook his head and stepped back.

"I'm going to see if I can find Xander. Perhaps he'll know."

"Good luck." Leo nodded Wyn off and turned back to whispering to Mairi.

Kara sighed, irritated that they were cutting her out, but she was interrupted by the sudden demands for answers that were directed toward the front of the room. She couldn't see who they were speaking to on her toes, so she turned sharply to Ravus, who stood drowsily to her left.

"Let me sit on your back." When he frowned at her, she rolled her eyes, coming closer. "I'll be able to see who they're talking to, Ravus!"

"I'm sure we'll learn even—"

"Stop it," she huffed, stepping behind him and gripping his shoulders. He sighed, letting her hoist herself up and loop her legs over his hips.

Kara sat as tall as she could, stretching as high as she could. A familiar black hat was rising above the crowd as the man who wore it reached the top of the shallow stairs. Leo and Mairi were quick to draw close to Ravus, peering up at the woman perched above him.

"Who is it?" Mairi called over the shouting.

"It's the chancellor…" Kara frowned, slouching down when Ardyn turned to show his face. He stretched out his palms. "What's he doing here?"

"He makes a habit of coming unannounced," Ravus muttered, clearly annoyed that Emperor's second-in-command always seemed to drop by when he was least expected or appreciated.

"Damn right," Leo scoffed, crossing his arms.

"It would do you well to quiet down so that I may _speak_ ," Ardyn called over the voices. They hushed quickly, intent on hearing what he had to say. Kara leaned forward and rested her chin on Ravus's head, tired. He failed to shake her off. "Thank you. Now then—the primary order of business."

"What do you _think_ happened?" Mairi whispered. Kara nudged her with her foot.

" _Hush._ "

"These are unprecedented times, and unexpected events will occur for many years." Ardyn took a deep breath. Kara swore there was a sly smile tracing his lips as he spoke of his disappointment. "Unfortunately, this does mean that our enemies are taking strides to stop our success. This evening, the commander went to check on the guards. He was taken by surprise and this ambush ultimately ended in his death."

"The commander's _dead?!_ " Mairi turned to stare up at Kara, alarmed.

Kara's heart skipped a beat and her fingers twitched, clutching Ravus's shoulders tighter. _Dead?_

"How was he killed?" a guard called from the middle of the crowd.

Ardyn raised an eyebrow, unhappy with the disturbed whispers. "He was assassinated by a paid mercenary." The voices got louder at that. Kara leaned forward to try to see Ravus's face.

"How did a _mercenary_ get past all the guards?"

"I don't know," he replied, brow furrowed.

"Let me continue," the chancellor said, his voice holding a dangerous tone—a warning of impatience. Everyone hushed again. Wyn quietly slipped back to Ravus's side, shaking his head when Leo asked if he was successful. "This is not something to be concerned about. The man in question was paid to kill a single target."

"What if he's paid to kill one of us?" a soldier asked shyly.

"He won't be," Ardyn replied confidently. A bad feeling began to stir in Kara's stomach. "I have already pulled a few strings and a new plan of action I have been working on for _years_ is finally coming into play." The pride on his face told them only one thing: this death was a blessing. "Our new _supreme_ commander has been in line for quite some time. Glauca—"

Ardyn jerked his head and an enormous, armored man appeared from the shadows along the walls where he'd been waiting. The fingers that rested on Kara's legs to hold her in place twitched and dug into her skin. Glauca's wrinkled, scarred face turned over his audience, apathetic. Wyn frowned at Ravus.

"What's wrong?"

"That's—" Ravus paused when Glauca moved. The freeze was almost a _flinch._ Kara leaned forward again, concerned.

"Ravus?"

"That's the man that killed Mother," he gritted out, eyes narrowed on the commander.

"What?" Wyn turned back to the front sharply, trying to recognize the man.

Kara's hand smoothed a straying strand of hair. "Are you certain? All I saw on the other side was previous—"

"I'm certain."

Kara shuddered, sliding off his back. She didn't want to see the chancellor anymore. Instead, she stood wedged between him and her brother.

"As of tomorrow morning, any soldiers ranking below Third are dismissed and their commanders with them." Shocked whispers radiated from the audience and Kara's heart sank further into her stomach. "We will replace those with magitek soldiers."

Mairi's temper began to flare, but she suppressed the sparks to save her hide from the room of commanders. "They're dropping everyone just like that?"

"This is insane," Wyn huffed, shaking his head.

Ardyn stood taller and his disappointment shifted to pride in the chaos he'd created. "Now, all of you get some rest and wake up bright-eyed tomorrow. I'm still expecting those of you that are _staying_ to perform well."

Kara felt her arms prickle with goosebumps as the chancellor turned his back and motioned for Glauca to follow him. Ravus gritted his teeth and shook his head. They could all tell her was _pissed_ by the decision to bring Glauca in as a new leader of the troops. _And what the hell is a supreme commander, anyway?_

"This is bullshit," Leo scoffed, rolling his eyes as he turned to head upstairs. Mairi huffed a sarcastic laugh and followed, not bothering to wish anyone a good night. _It's too late for it to turn good now._

Ravus turned sharply and headed toward the broader exit that no one else filtered through. Wyn and Kara exchanged a quick look and she wondered if he was going to be alright.

"Hey, where are you headed?" Wyn asked, hurrying after him.

Ravus shook his head. "I need some fresh air."

"Me too," Kara admitted, rushing ahead to push open a door that led outside onto the terrace.

Ravus didn't acknowledge the two following him. Kara shut the door and shrugged it off. He was probably lost in thought. Knowing now that the man who led the assault on the Queen was given power over them all made her uneasy. If he had something out for her, would he try to stop her son from rising in the ranks? She hugged her arms close and quickened her stride.

They walked up a set of stairs that led onto the walkway atop the stone walls around the manor that connected to the country's borders. Kara's breath puffed out in clouds of steam. She recalled the days when she and Ravus would leave home to play outside in the cold. They'd blow the air at each other, pretending to be dragons or wizards or even the goddess Shiva. Of course, those creatures had no business being in their yard. In hindsight, it was a foolish game and they'd probably have been better off wrestling, but it was good innocent fun—something they hadn't known in a long time.

The forest looked magical and frightening at night. Lamp posts cast an eerie yellow glow and led into the trees and vines that had overgrown the edges of their town. Along the horizon, a peaceful mist highlighted the shapes on the canopies and made their rich greens a magnificent array of grays and blues. Their world was a haunting mix of beauty and horror and there was no use in pretending otherwise.

"It's colder than I thought it'd be," Wyn admitted, breaking the silence. Ravus continued his headstrong march along the top of the wall as if he couldn't hear. As if he was blocking them out completely. "Not bad, though, for the spring." He was trying to lighten the mood, but he wasn't strong enough to do it alone. Unfortunately, no one else was willing to lend him a hand. The gravity of their situation was too much.

Kara nodded, but she was too busy watching Ravus to reply. He strode past guards without a second thought, older men who all paused to greet the boy who was once meant to be their king. That's how _they_ remembered him, and yet, he couldn't give a care about who they were to honor him. Shivering, Kara hurried to keep up, squinting in the bright lights that lined the walls to keep the daemons out. She tried her hand at baiting him out of his shell.

"I wonder what they'll do about the hierarchy now that Ardyn's made a new position," she called out. When she received no response, Wyn answered.

"I'm more unnerved by the thoughtless elimination of an entire army system."

"You think Glauca will do well with half the men?"

"I'm not so sure. He doesn't know anything about Tenebraean soldiers and how we're trained. We hardly have any more soldiers and we're not making more? That's a fool's game if I've ever heard one."

"He's no fool," Ravus cut in, pausing along the front gate to lean forward against the wall. His breaths were heavy, trying to keep up with the pace of his heart. "He's exactly what Niflheim needs to establish complete control of us all."

"Why can't they do that will all of the commanders?" Kara asked carefully, leaning beside him. She was baiting him, praying that he'd keep talking so that he'd stay grounded with them and not drift back into his deep-seated hatred.

"They resist enough change as it is," Ravus grumbled. He shook his head, his scowl refusing to budge. "If Izunia can automate the army and keep around a few brain-washed puppets around to command respect in interpersonal relations, he can control the world."

"Damn, those are some mighty big words," Wyn teased, resting a hand on Ravus's shoulder and giving a squeeze. Ravus didn't make any effort to reply and Wyn pressed his lips together, shooting Kara a look. "Look, man… It's shit. I know it is. If there was something I could do short of killing the man, I swear I would. And…" He froze for a moment, caught on his words. The silence drew a frown across Kara's face, and when she looked up at her brother, she saw tears glimmering in his eyes.

"Wyn?"

Wyn shook his head furiously. His voice cracked as he struggled to his words out. "And I know what it's like to look into the eyes of my mother's killer and to live seeing that face every day. _I know._ " Ravus stared into the darkness with empty eyes, but his brow twitched. "And I'm _sorry._ "

Swallowing the lump in her throat, Kara rested her hand on Ravus's other shoulder, unsure of what else to do. They were hurting so much, and there was so little that she could do. The faintest spark of anger that remained in her heart fizzled, drowned by the pity that rushed in. _He's fighting so hard. They both are._ Clenching her jaw, she leaned closer and rested her head against Ravus's with a small sniff and a hand quickly brushing across her cheek to erase a tear that had slipped free.

"It'll be okay," she whispered, trying to reassure them all. "It has to be."

"How can I be expected to free them all from Niflheim if there's no one that _wants_ freedom?" Ravus asked. "Luna…" It was obvious that he was still angry, but he stood still to keep Kara and Wyn in their places. Despite the ache in her chest, Kara managed a small smile. Maybe they _were_ helping him feel a little better.

"You're not alone," Wyn reminded him, patting Ravus's back a few times. "We love Luna just as much as you do. If no one else will follow you, we will."

Shadows danced across Ravus's face as a guard passed by, paying them little mind as he walked by with a flaming torch in his gloved hand. The edges of the darkness were soft, taking the harshness out of Ravus's sharp features and highlighting his tired eyes as they closed solemnly. Kara reached up to smooth the back of his ruffled hair, waiting for Wyn to break the silence when Ravus let out a defeated sigh.

Instead, though, just as Wyn took a breath to speak, she caught sight of movement in the trees and straightened abruptly. "What the hell?"

"What?" Wyn demanded, on edge. He summoned his sword to his hand, waiting. Ravus snapped out of his slump.

"Kara?"

"Look!"

She pointed toward the reddish shadow that crept through the treetops with ease. As if it heard her voice, the shadow paused and turned back. In the darkness, two gleaming eyes pierced hers. Her skin prickled with goosebumps and her heart skipped a beat. The reddish hue was coming from the swishing cloak the shadow—rather, the man—wore. He turned back and continued through the foliage until the canopy hid him entirely from their view.

The three exchanged pale-faced looks. They had absolutely no reason to know who the man was, and yet they all did. _He's the one that killed the commander…_ Without warning, Ravus darted down the path atop the walls. With a startled shout, Wyn sprinted after him. Kara swallowed her fear and gave chase, overwhelmed by the evening's events.

"Wait!" Wyn cried, gesturing for the guards to stop Ravus. They were either too confused or bewildered to obey. " _Wait,_ Ravus!"

"Ravus!" Kara pleaded, gritting her teeth and pumping her legs harder to catch up to her brother.

Ravus hurried down a steep set of stairs and clung to the rail as he turned the sharp corner toward the gates. Wyn was hot on his heels, though he stumbled midway through the steps. Knowing she'd never keep up following in a straight line, Kara continued along the top of the wall until she reached the peak of the gate. She gripped the wall's edge, taking a deep breath, and hurled herself over the edge. The pain of the awkward impact made her wince, but the roll took the edge off. Ravus tried to slip past her, but she dug her nails into the sleeve of his uniform and stuck her leg out to stop his legs.

"What the hell are you doing?!" she demanded. He tried to pry away but she jerked him closer by the elbow. "Ravus, he's _gone_."

"Bloody _hell_ you're fast," Wyn wheezed, slowing to clutch his knees and gasp for air a few feet away.

"Ravus," Kara repeated, forcing him to look her in the eye. "There's no use. Give up."

"I can't," he snapped, squeezing her hand to make her let go. She kicked his shin in retaliation.

"Don't break my fingers so that you can throw yourself into a quick death!" She hadn't meant to raise her voice to quite that volume but the silence that echoed her words afterward proved that it was a shout well spent. "We understand your pain, Ravus. Let us _help_ you. This—" She threw a hand out toward the dark forest. "This is _madness!_ "

"He can't get away!"

"What about Luna?!" she cried over his voice. Ravus's mouth snapped shut and his eyes turned to the ground. "If you go out there, you're not coming back. You know that."

"There's a chance—"

"You're not invincible," Wyn cut in. "Let it go."

Ravus looked ready to make another excuse or to try and throw Kara aside once more, but he was interrupted by a shrill scream from the forest that chilled them to the bone. They froze, glancing around at each other with uncertainty. _Do we dare go in?_ There was no need to gather their courage, though, as the source of the sound stumbled from the edge of the woods.

Alarmed, Kara pulled Ravus aside and they watched as the gasping, sobbing, screaming young man in a guard's uniform staggered past. He fell to his knees before Wyn, writhing. Cuts marred his body and entire chunks of his flesh were missing, but there was something odd. Black liquid swirled with deep streaks of purple oozed from his wounds, coating his body in thick, oily sludge. Wyn stumbled backward, eyes wide with horror as the boy continued to howl in pain. Clawing at his own skin, the guard collapsed to the ground. He choked and his breaths gurgled until they didn't. His eyes, glowing a deep shade of amber, fluttered shut.

"What in the—" Wyn managed, blinking at the body.

Kara stepped forward to approach the boy, but Ravus tugged her back toward him. That was the first time in a long time that she'd seen genuine fear in his eyes.

"What—" she started.

They jumped when the body began to sizzle. The black ooze bubbled, tripling in quantity and pooling beneath the boy. Steaming, the ooze continued to boil as the body sank deeper and deeper into the puddle. The last of the guard evaporated until there was no sign that the young man ever existed.

"What the hell?" Kara whispered. Her throat was so dry that she couldn't manage a louder volume, but Ravus heard her, staring at the spot in awe.

"The daemons…" He glanced back toward the forest where a hundred gleaming eyes stared back. "They're here."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to ChaosBreaker13 for letting me use another one of their incredible character in one of my stories ;)


	18. The Highwinds

_The day she reunited with her cousin and the weeks prior that she'd spent trying to convince Ravus and Wyn to pursue the stranger that had killed the commander of their army... They were the good old days compared to where she was sitting now._

_Those days of thinking they had all far more power than they could handle... Those were the final days of her youth._

_And she squandered them._

* * *

In the weeks following the incident with the commander and the guard that was entirely engulfed by the daemons' dark energy, Glauca ordered triple the guards to stand on duty. Because Ardyn sent most of the soldiers away to new lives, the elite cadets were forced to spend their free hours between training and lessons guarding the walls and eyeing the forest. Kara and her friends knew, though, that the threat that killed the commander wasn't from the outside. It was too convenient for the chancellor.

Uneasy, they dragged themselves through duty after duty, only given time to check in as they passed each other between shifts. She hadn't seen Ravus in weeks and Wyn reminded her that the only remaining hours he had left in the day were likely spent with Kylinn. The thought made her insides churn.

As the threat slowly left the forefront of the new commander's mind, she and the rest of the elites were forced to increase their training time. Exhausted, their progress began to slow dramatically and even Ravus was struggling to keep up with their lessons. That's when Kara caught wind of a visitor that was meant to inspire them to work harder. She was scheduled to arrive within the week and strike awe into the hearts of the elites. Something told her Glauca knew nothing about his soldiers.

The murmuring was almost unbearable to listen to. Every guard around Kara pushed up on their toes to get taller, to get close enough to see the mythical creature the Empire paid to do their dirty work. Well, she may as well have been a mythical creature. Kara hung back with her arms crossed and a scowl on her face, watching the crowd gather around her famed cousin. Wyn nudged her playfully, grinning.

"Aren't you happy to see her? It's been _years._ "

"What do you think?" she retorted. Her expression soured and he laughed.

"Jealous?"

"All she does is fly around and cause trouble," she protested. "That's nothing worth worshipping."

Wyn gestured toward the crowd of soldiers. "That's not what they think."

"Well, screw them and what they think."

"That bad?" Her brother couldn't help but snicker at the look she shot him. "Okay, well. At least give her a 'hello.' Maybe she's changed."

"I doubt it."

"You didn't say no."

Kara shot him a dry expression, but the hopeful smile on his face broke her. She rolled her eyes and looked toward the marble stairs. "Fine. One greeting."

"That's the spirit!"

Wyn took her arm and pushed his way through the crowd. Kara kept her eyes on the ground, ashamed to be a part of the wide-eyed teenagers around her _. If only they knew the real Aranea… They'd be embarrassed, too._ She spotted Mairi and Leo along the outside borders of the crowd and silently pled for them to save her, but they only raised their brows, amused.

"Those bastards hardly know how to hold their own dicks, much less their swords," Aranea snorted. Kara jerked her arm away from Wyn the moment she deemed them close enough. Their cousin slouched against the enormous, jagged javelin she'd dug into the once pristine, white stone. "What do you expect from a king that won't let anyone leave his castle, though? It's like those kids're seeing the sun for the first time."

Kara's stomach churned once she understood what Aranea was explaining in her dry, flat voice. _Lucis's soldiers… She's bragging about the men she's killed._ She clenched so tightly that her teeth caught her cheek and drew blood, but she hardly noticed. Instead, she recalled the desperation in the spy's eyes and the anger in her voice when she called out for her daughter. Trembling with disgust, Kara crossed her arms tightly.

Aranea's pale eyes caught Kara's scowl and her lips spread into a smug smile. "Well, lookie here. It's a whole family reunion." The crowd split enough that Wyn and Kara stood at the front with mismatched expressions. Aranea raised an eyebrow at the two of them. "You all that's left? Sad." Her scoff made Wyn's smile falter and Kara's jaw clenched tighter. She had to close her eyes to keep herself from speaking. "How're things going with this shitshow?"

"Fine," Wyn replied, attempting to keep his cheery tone upright. "A little messy at the moment, but that's just because of the recent overhaul."

"Hm." Their cousin looked entirely uninterested, rubbing at a scratch on the horned helmet that was tucked under her arm. "I don't have to worry about that bullshit out in the field."

"Bullshit?" Kara repeated, getting more wound up by the second. Wyn pressed his lips together.

"That didn't last long."

"Is the Imperial army rushing through here and burning our homes and killing our families just _bullshit_ to you?" Kara demanded, stepping closer with her nails tearing into her palms. The blatant ignorance in Aranea's words replayed over and over in her head, making her face go red. "Is it _inconvenient_ to you that our father _died_ fighting for us?"

Aranea's lips wrestled a smile. She tipped her head toward Wyn. "His didn't, so why does he care?"

Kara lurched forward a step before she could control herself. It was Leo that clutched her wrist and held her long enough to anchor her back to herself. _Control yourself. She wants this._ Despite her demanding thoughts, she couldn't rein in her anger, enraged at the mockery Aranea was making of her father and his significance. Aranea didn't bother to stifle her laugh, throwing back her head and waving a hand to shut Wyn up when he opened his mouth to speak.

"You really do live up to your reputation, little girl." Straightening, she tugged at her silvery ponytail and shot Kara her signature smirk. "Don't you get it? Daddy issues aren't cute anymore, so cut it out and forget the old man. He's a bag of bones by now."

"This isn't about-!" Leo tugged Kara's arm so hard that she bit her tongue. Fed up, she pushed him away and drew closer to her cousin. "What is _wrong_ with you?! That's your father's _brother!"_

Aranea raised an eyebrow. "And I'm supposed to care? My parents are dead, too, and you don't see me throwing a pity party in front of the entire damn army."

Wyn stepped up to Kara's side to speak up, refusing to stay silenced for long. "Maybe you should agree to disagree, hm?"

Kara shot him a look of bewilderment and Aranea scoffed. _That's all you could come up with?_ Leo pressed his lips together and stepped back into the uneasy gathering of young soldiers, unsure how he could be of any help.

Aranea jerked her javelin out of the ground and eyed its jagged design for a moment. Kara flinched when its cold tip touched her throat, startled by how quickly her cousin was able to move. The soldiers shuffled backward, hushed.

"How about we settle our differences the old-fashioned way, huh?"

"Why would I waste my strength?" Kara snapped.

Aranea arched a brow. "Oh, you're scared? All you have to say is that you forfeit, sweetheart."

"I'm _not_ forfeiting." Kara's grinding teeth were starting to give her a headache. "But I'm not fighting you either."

"Aw, why?" Aranea crooned, sticking out her lower lip in a mocking pout. "Scared to get your _second_ kill?" Her face contorted into an expression of disgust. "Poor Kara wants to lead the legions like her father but faints at the sight of blood."

"Aranea—" Wyn started, though he didn't seem to have any thoughts to finish his sentence.

"I'm not fighting," Kara repeated. Her face hot despite the chill in the air and her palms were sweating, marked with crescents from her nails. She wasn't sure where to go from there. Should she walk away as Aranea jeered after her and the soldiers thought her weak? Or should she change her might and attempt to win a fight she likely couldn't?

Before she could decide, Aranea spat on the toe of her left boot. "That's what I thought. Think you're making a smart choice by picking battles, but you're a coward just like your mother."

The rush that pushed through Kara's veins sent her body soaring forward and her spear forming in her hand. Her jaw clenched and a gritted cry tore through her heart as she swung. Aranea's javelin met the shaft of her spear with a deafening clack and she swung the polearm around to strike the back of Kara's knees. Stumbling, Kara, rolled forward to catch her balance only to take another sharp strike to the back of her head that sent her tumbling over the edge of the tall marble platform of the Manor's outskirts with a sharp twist of her ankle.

Still stunned from the hit to the head, Kara dizzily grasped for any ledge to catch herself on, but, seeing in triples, she was unable to successfully stop the fall and landed flat on her back. The breath in her lungs shot out through her mouth the same time as a stifled grunt did. For a moment, her body was numb and the sky above her spun at a sickening speed.

The pain started in the ankle that twisted on the edge and at the back of her head where the bruise from Aranea's blow smacked against the cobblestone path. It spread like fire, trailing down her spine and toward the tips of her fingers. As she gasped for air, she wanted nothing more than to curl into a ball and plead the gods for mercy, but she quickly found that she couldn't move. Everything looked like it was passing in short, choppy clips as if she was blinking constantly and forgetting every other moment that passed.

Suddenly, faces loomed over her and muffled voices echoed around her pounding skull. Mairi's flickering face slowly came into focus and warmth enclosed her hand. It took a moment for Kara to understand what she was saying until she felt Mairi's hand press to her cheek.

"Kara, please," Mairi pleaded. "Just breathe. You'll be alright."

Someone jerked Kara's head upright and tucked something underneath it; daggers shout around her skull and landed in the back of her eyes. She wasn't sure if she screamed or not, but a tear slipped from Mairi's eye and she hushed Kara once more. Her soothing sounded more like pleading. Kara couldn't collect the words to ask what was happening, if she would really be okay, how she was supposed to help Ravus if she died right then.

Wyn appeared over her and forced a smile, ushering Mairi away. "Aren't lancers supposed to land on their feet like cats?" he teased, brushing Kara's messy hair out of her face. "Don't worry about it, Kara. The field healers are gonna patch you up." A failed attempt at speaking wheezed out of Kara's throat and Wyn shook his head. "Hey, it's okay. Just close your eyes and relax. You're in good hands."

And so she did, letting the numbness sink back in and slipping just below the surface of consciousness with a prayer that she would one day wake up to excuse her weakness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry Aranea fans, I have a very stubborn idea of how she was before she grew up a little before the game ;)))


	19. Adapt

The light from the window sent sharp pains echoing through Kara's skull even before she opened her eyes. Gritting her teeth was her first instinct, but that only made that throbbing stronger. She squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath, wincing at the soreness that ached through her entire body. When her fingers twitched at her side, she suddenly became aware of the straps fastened to her wrists and the tugging of the tape that held down an assortment of needles and tubes. A voice startled her enough that her eyes flew open and the sun sent an agonizing burst of pain through her head.

"Of _course_ you wake up when I'm in here. Just my luck."

"The window…" Kara forced out, wincing at the dryness in her throat.

Huffing, her visitor stood, making sure the scrape the chair to elicit a wince from Kara. _Gods…_ The curtains lowered slowly and when she deemed the coast was clear, Kara opened her eyes. Ignoring the dull ache in her head as she did so, she watched Kylinn pace back toward her chair and plop down with her arms crossed. The soldier raised an eyebrow, irritated.

"What?"

"Why are you here?"

"I'm holding Ravus's place," Kylinn retorted, crossing her legs stiffly. She scowled. "Don't make that face. He's here to lecture you, not to check in on you." Kara frowned and tried to push herself up higher, but the sharp pain shooting up her elbows stopped her short. "Hey! Be careful!" Kylinn snapped, reached toward a remote that was tethered to the bed and pressing a button that slowly raised the bed into an incline.

"Thanks." Kara eyed the end of the bed where her feet poked out from beneath the blanket that proved too short for her body. One of them was wrapped in a stiff, beige cast from her toes to the middle of her calf. "What does he want to lecture me about?"

"Picking a fight with Aranea." Kylinn shrugged with a sniff and turned to face the painting on the wall. "I have to disagree with him. I'd 've punched her straight in her pretty little nose long before you lost it."

Kara shook her head with a sigh. "It was stupid of me." She could still feel the anger that resonated with Aranea's words. "I don't care how much Wyn wants us to stick with family. I hate her."

"I can't say I blame you," the soldier scoffed, returning her eyes to Kara's. "She's a bitch for the sake of being a bitch. There's no type worse in the world." A smug smile tugged at her lips. "At least _I_ have the trauma to match."

A short, uncomfortable silence passed between them as they searched for any similarities they might have. Kara crinkled her nose as she eyed the needle in her wrist, disgusted by the lack of life in the color of her skin. She took a deep breath to fill in for her shallow breaths and looked back up at Kylinn.

"How is it being with Ravus? Does he lecture you a lot, too?"

Kylinn snorted, rubbing at the scuff on her boot. "He doesn't do jack shit. I talk a whole lot and sometimes he listens. I kick his ass in training, and it pisses him off. That's the only time he seems to _feel_ anything." Irate, she rolled her head back to stare up at the ceiling. "Even when we _fuck,_ he's somewhere else entirely."

Kara crinkled her nose and quickly swept the image of a blankly staring Ravus out of her mind. "Are you going to break it off?"

"It's almost as though he doesn't think there's anything to break off," Kylinn admitted, though she didn't seem disappointed. "Besides, if I leave him, who do I have left? _Wyn_?" Kara frowned and Kylinn laughed bitterly. "Those two are inseparable, but they're so different. Ravus is _real_ around him." Her dark eyes pierced Kara. "Around you, too."

"We've known each other a long time," Kara pointed out, uneasy. Ravus was his own specimen with his own unexplainable habits. She had no clue why he chose to let down his guard around her and her brother, but she certainly didn't mind. He needed to feel safe _somewhere._

Kylinn didn't seem bothered, shrugging. "I prefer loving heartless bastards, anyway. Makes the end easy."

"He's not—" Kara started.

She cut herself when the door opened, startled. Ravus stepped in, pausing for a second when he saw that he'd interrupted the conversation. It didn't bother him for long, though, because he walked closer and jerked his head toward the door without so much as a glance toward Kylinn. With a snicker, the soldier shot Kara a look and grabbed Ravus's arm as she pressed her lips to his cheek. He didn't blink, keeping his focus on the floor until she closed the door behind her.

Once they were trapped in a tense film of silence, Ravus wandered toward the foot of Kara's bed. She watched as he reached out toward the pitcher of water on the white countertop lining the wall. Then he paused.

"Are you thirsty?"

"I could go for a drink," Kara replied softly, unsure how to read his silence. For once, he was refusing to lower his walls even a touch.

Ravus didn't respond, pouring water into a metal cup and carrying it to her side. Kara pressed the button on her remote to sit herself up further and accepted the cup gratefully. The silence was filled only by the sound of her gulping down the water as quickly as she could. It felt wonderful to do something somewhat normal. When she finished, Ravus took the cup back to the table and stared at the window even though the curtains blocked his view outside.

"So…" Kara shifted her weight with a wince. "What's the damage, doc?"

"This isn't funny," Ravus snapped, shooting her a scowl. Her heart sank.

"It was just a joke."

"It was inappropriate."

Exhausted, Kara scoffed. "Right. Sorry for joking about my _own_ goddamn pain because it's the _only_ thing I can focus on at the moment."

Ravus frowned, eyeing one of the bags held up on a rack beside her bed. "Did I not open it enough?"

"What?"

Ravus headed closer to her bed, but he never touched it as if he feared it might infect him with whatever ailments she was suffering. He touched a switch on the tube leading to a needle in her hand. "They gave you control over your pain relief. I had to estimate what was enough by your grumbling."

Kara frowned up at him. "Grumbling?"

"You spent a long time half-conscious," he explained, stepping away once more. At least this time he was facing her. "They hoped that waking you between operations would allow you to speak to them, but that was too high a hope, it seems."

"Operations?" she repeated, bewildered. All she had was questions and he hadn't answered any of them.

Taking a deep breath, Ravus crossed his arms and leaned against the counter. "The speed with which you turned before falling broke your ankle. Aranea's blow in conjunction with your landing cracked the back of your head." His brows pinched together and his eyes wandered around the room. "It's a miracle only two of your ribs broke and that you didn't suffer much damage to your spine. Your vision was impaired for a few days, but you seem to be alright now." He paused, looking back toward her. "Unless you're not."

"I think I'm seeing the same as before," Kara replied, feeling her face get warm. She was being entirely unhelpful, and it wasn't to her advantage that she'd put everyone through the trouble of stitching her back together. "I can't tell, though. I'm too sore to think."

Ravus nodded. "I can't imagine why."

"Hey now, no jokes," she teased. "This is serious." All she got in response was a sardonic huff. Changing the subject was less than ideal, but she figured it was best to speak with him now. "Kylinn said you had something to lecture me about."

Raising his eyebrow, the soldier shot an irritated look toward the windows once more. "I have no lectures for you."

"You're sure?"

He sighed. "No. There's always something you could improve."

"Well, it goes both ways."

Shooting her a dry look, he jerked his head to fling his hair out of his eyes. It was getting just long enough on top that it consistently fell into his face. The shaved sides of his head did little to help hold it back. Kara wondered if he was growing it out on purpose. _Now isn't the time._ He was hesitating to speak, and she wanted to rip off the bandage.

"Ravus, why are you here?"

His eyes flickered up to hers before returning to the ground. "There's talk of cutting you from the program along with the others that are leaving."

Kara's heart leaped into her throat and she fought to catch her breath. " _What?_ "

"There's no telling how long it'll take for you to heal, and even then, there's no guarantee you'll ever be the same," he continued, still refusing to look at her. "Even the doctors don't know what to think."

"I'll bounce back," she insisted, struggling to sit even straighter. "They can't cut me, Ravus. You can't let them."

"What if they're right?" he asked. "How can I ask them to fund a recovery that won't succeed?"

"I'm not _broken._ I'm sore and my ankle's a little beat up." Kara shook her head, bewildered. It felt like her brain was loose, knocking into the walls of its confines and creating thundering echoes. "They have to take the risk. At the very least I'll make a decent commander."

"And what about your head?" he demanded. The shift in his voice indicated his growing irritation, but she wasn't sure it was directed entirely at her. "Piecing your skull back together bit by bit won't repair anything but bone. Your coordination and balance will never be the same. How do you expect to fight when you can't keep yourself _upright_?"

"I'll learn!" She was getting desperate. Where could she go if she didn't have the program? Who would she be? A nobody doing nothing to ease the suffering memories of her people. She wouldn't be able to live with herself. "I'm not giving up. Let them see that."

Ravus scoffed, shaking his head. "They know that, Kara. They know _you,_ but that doesn't change the circumstances. They can't use a cripple." He shrugged, rubbing the toe of his boot against a skid mark on the tile. "And I can't use a _decent commander_."

Kara's heart sank and she felt the crushing weight of his hopelessness begin to collapse against her. _If I just hadn't taken the bait…_ Swallowing the lump in her throat and blinking away the tears clouding her vision, she looked down at her blanket. The Empire may have wanted her to lay down and die, but she wasn't willing to do that, even if it meant a huge waste of time and resources. She _had_ to get back on her feet.

"Listen." Wincing, Kara pushed herself up a little further and adjusted her hefty, casted ankle. Ravus watched her pitiful shimmying with a grimace, but she paid him no mind. "Here's what we're going to do."

"Kara—"

"I said _listen_. We're going to do our very best to convince them that they need to put in the resources to get me back _because—"_ She raised a finger to stop Ravus when he started to interrupt again. "Ardyn just sent everyone away and proved to them that they don't matter. How many _good_ candidates would come back to take this opportunity knowing that they're expendable?" Getting hopeful, she began to smile. "Meanwhile, you and Wyn keep kicking ass to get to the top. Don't let this slow either of you down; I'll catch up eventually."

Ravus shook his head, uncertain. "There's no guarantee this will work in the slightest."

"We won't know until we try." Kara shot him a reassuring smile. "And if things change, we'll adapt. It's what we've been doing our whole lives, Ravus; we're pros."

Uncrossing his arms, Ravus took a deep breath and combed his hair back with his fingers. For a moment, the tense silence return. Then, once, he nodded. "We'll try, then. But if things begin to go wrong, you're on your own."

Kara grinned. "Deal."


	20. Recover

Kara's ankle wobbled beneath the weight of her body and she was forced to sink back against the crutches she'd hoped to leave behind weeks ago. Gritting her teeth, she tried to push herself back up, but her arms shook and nearly sent her toppling onto her back. Glauca frowned and the doctor chewed her lip.

"Well, progress is progress." She pushed her glasses up with the back of her pen. "Sit down a moment, Kara. Give your body a break."

"It's _had_ its break," Kara protested, standing stubbornly. Glauca raised an eyebrow over a scarred eye and she quieted, sitting on the edge of the infirmary bed.

"Progress isn't coming fast enough," the commander replied, shooting the doctor a disapproving look. "How long will it be until she can fight? _Years_? We don't have the time for that."

"It won't be _years,_ " the woman sniffed, unafraid of the hulking man's irritation. She eyed Kara with a sympathetic smile. "Months, more like. Once her bones have properly healed and her muscles have knit back together."

Glauca sighed, shaking his head. "And then what? Weakness for another few months?"

"Perhaps. _However,_ she was chosen for a reason, was she not? It seems she's worth keeping around." She turned her face upward to meet the commander's eye. "Besides, the chancellor has taken a liking to her and I doubt you want to make many moves outside his favor, _Titus._ "

Kara smiled to herself, biting her lip to make her expression less visible. Her ankle was throbbing and her muscles ached to be used, but she knew she had to remain seated. They were pushing her too early and they knew it. Absently, she ran her fingers up and down the short, shaved hairs along her head where the surgeons cut away her hair to patch her skull back together. She hated missing large chunks of the long hair she'd been growing out for so long, but Kylinn insisted the shave made her look badass. At least she still had the other half.

"I won't be if her progress continues, I just wish it was at a faster pace." Glauca crossed his arms and a gentler look overtook his features, one that Kara had come to associate with respect for her leader. He was an Imperial bastard, certainly, but a kind and admirable one. "You've tried the healers? The potions?"

"Of course we have, but there's only so far those can go." The doctor crossed her arms, cocking her head to the side. Her ponytail swung with the motion, brushing her coat quietly. "Don't worry too much about weakening muscles. We've been doing exercises to prevent too much atrophy, and it's not like she'll lose the memory of the motions."

"I know." Glauca glanced toward Kara's crutches. "Do you think she could take a wheelchair outside for some fresh air?"

"Now or in general?"

"In general." The commander eyed Kara. "She looks like she could use some sunlight."

"We'll put it on the agenda," the doctor replied with a nod. "Now, if you're finished evaluating, she has visitors on the schedule and I have other patients to attend to."

"Of course."

Glauca nodded toward Kara and held open the door for the doctor. The two of them left in silence, leaving Kara alone on the edge of the bed. Sighing, she heaved her legs back up onto the mattress with a grimace. _Those exercises aren't doing shit. I'm weaker by the day._ She slumped against her pillow and stared up at the ceiling. _And closer to dying of boredom every second._ Because everyone was so busy picking up the slack of the missing soldiers Ardyn dismissed, she hardly got to see anyone and spent most of the passing days staring at the ceiling and lifting tiny dumbbells. Today, though, she finally had a visitor, and it was someone she'd been missing for a long time.

Just when she thought her visitor had decided not to come, the door opened and in walked Aloc with a grin on his face and a handful of sylleblossoms in a jar. Kara couldn't help but laugh as she accepted the gift, flicking a bug off one of the vibrant purple petals and pulling Aloc into a one-armed hug.

"I hope you like them. Had to 'em out of the cemetery."

"I love them," she replied, unable to wipe the smile off her face. "What's new in your world? Anything exciting?"

Aloc shrugged, falling into the chair beside her bed and crossing his ankle over his knee. "I dunno. I've learned a lot." Laughing nervously, he touched his glasses and ran a hand through his unruly hair. "I, uh, might be getting moved to the Zenautus Keep lab."

"Whoa, what?!" Kara's eyes went wide. Zegnautus Keep was where the _big leagues_ researched for the Empire. "For what?"

"To help improve the magitek soldiers. They're having a few technical difficulties and a few of us younger guys thought of a few ways to fix 'em."

Kara's jaw was slack with awe. Aloc, who they all feared was going to be working with the top Imperial researchers because of an idea that he was _surely_ downplaying. "Aloc, that's _amazing!_ Congrats!"

"Yeah…" His eyes lowered and he sighed. Her heart sank. "It's not that I don't want to go, it's just…" He motioned toward her. "You and Mairi and Leo are all I have in this entire world, and I'd have to leave you behind. I don't even know when I'd ever get to see you again."

Kara reached out a hand to rest on his knee and flashed an understanding smile. "I know. _But_ this is a one-in-a-lifetime opportunity, Aloc. You can't give that up for the rest of us. You _know_ Mairi would hit you right now if she knew what you were thinking."

He laughed, shaking his head. "Yeah, I know."

"So, tell me. What's this genius idea?"

Just as quickly as his smile came, it disappeared. "I can't say."

"Afraid I'll steal it?" she teased.

He forced a half-hearted smile. "There's a lot you don't know about what goes on behind the scenes here, and I hope you never _have_ to know." Frowning, Kara watched him shake his head to clear his thoughts. "But enough sad talk. I want to know about you."

"Well, I can get around with crutches. I lift tiny weights and eat pudding for most meals." Kara forced a laugh and rubbed at her head. "And they took my hair away."

"Yeah, some of it. I wasn't going to say anything." Aloc grinned and cocked his head to the side. "It doesn't look half bad, though. Makes you look tougher."

Kara snorted. "I look like a member of a heavy metal band."

"A little."

Rolling her eyes, she smacked his knee and pushed herself upright. Her head was starting to hurt from suppressing her worry over Aloc's vague words. _What goes on behind the scenes that he can't tell me? Will they_ ** _kill_** _him for it?_ The thought of saying goodbye without a set date for seeing each other again made her sad, but she was proud that he'd made it to that point from his previous position as a failed foot soldier. _Perhaps I shouldn't be proud if he insists that his work is no good, though._

"That's not all I came to talk to you about, though." Aloc perked up quickly, standing. "You can walk with those crutches, right? I bet it would be nice to see the others."

Kara felt immediate relief. Seeing the sun, her brother, and her friends would make her _life._ "Do you have permission to kidnap me?"

"Of course." Aloc laughed, handing her crutches to her as she carefully set her feet on the ground. "When have I ever broken rules? It was _you_ of all people that broke more than anyone else."

"Don't remind me," she scoffed, forcing herself upright and adjusting the uncomfortable rests underneath her arms. "What are they doing today?"

"Funny you should ask." Aloc held open the door and closed it carefully behind them. "We'll miss all the boring speeches and applause, but I'm sure you'll be excited to hear the news everyone will dump on you."

"News?" Kara frowned, searching her mind for any reason for _news,_ but she found none. Something must have changed drastically in all the time she was away. Perhaps that's why Glauca was so concerned; she was missing _everything._

"You'll see."

Aloc led the way out of the infirmary and helped her hop down the stairs one by one. By the time they reached the outdoors, Kara was sore and sweaty. But she wasn't about to skip out on this opportunity if it meant that she'd learn something important _and_ get stronger. Aloc waved an arm over his head to catch the attention of the gathered soldiers that stood together along the training grounds below. Mairi was the first to look up and she took off immediately once she saw who they were, followed by Leo.

"You're _alive_!" Mairi squealed, resisting the urge to crush Kara into a hug and opting for an arm squeeze. Kara laughed, nodding. The two watched as Leo and Aloc shoved each other, making up for all the lost time they could have been picking on one another.

"What's happening out here?" Kara asked once they were paying attention. "Aloc says you should have news?"

Mairi's eyes _sparkled._ "Oh! I'll leave the _important_ bits for Wyn and Ravus, but we all get to do our first duties on the front lines!" Leo chuckled when she squealed again at the sight of Kara's shock. "The stalemate is over, and the Empire needs something to really give a good push into Lucis territory."

"We'll miss you out there," Leo continued, raising his arm to block a playful punch from Aloc. "But we know you have to take the time to get all put back together."

Mairi nodded eagerly, grabbing Kara's shoulders. "Right! Next time we head out, you'll be with us. You deserve to be."

Kara took a breath to respond, but she caught sight of her brother and Ravus making their way over. They both absolutely _beamed_ with pride, and Wyn's grin was only stretched further when he caught sight of her. Mairi stepped to the side and smiled as he every so gingerly rested an arm across her back and drew her into a careful hug.

"Does this hurt?"

"A little," she teased, pulling away. "Be careful, you might shatter me."

Laughing, he stepped back to Ravus's side. The Oracle's brother raised an eyebrow, hands clasped behind his back and lips tracing the faintest smile. Confused, Kara shot Mairi a look.

" _Guys,_ " Mairi sang out, kicking Wyn's shin. "Don't you have something to tell her?"

"Oh!" Wyn stepped back, and with a grand gesture, opened his arms to motion toward Ravus. " _This_ is the new _commander-in-training_ of our class!"

"No!" Kara gasped, mouth gaping with shock. Pure joy flooded her heart. Everything Ravus wanted was steadily falling into place, and she couldn't be happier. "Congratulations, _Commander_ Nox Fleuret."

"Not yet," Ravus replied. With a bit of mocking dread, he motioned toward Wyn with his head. "He's my second. Not sure why."

"You're _kidding!_ " Kara could hardly believe her ears.

Wyn laughed and shook his head. "Yeah, I don't believe it either."

"You both deserve it," Leo said, resting an arm across the back of Mairi's shoulders. "In that order."

"Shut _up_ ," Wyn scoffed, grinning as he pushed Leo's shoulder. "Although, it does work in my favor. He gets to be a dick and I get to pretend I don't agree with him."

Ravus raised his eyebrows and glanced up toward the sky, as close to rolling his eyes as Kara had ever seen. " _Pretend."_

Kara sank back on her crutches, ignoring the soreness in her arms from resting so much weight on them. It was hard to understand how everything changed so fast in the few weeks she'd spent recovering. Glauca was making a new leader for their unit, and he gave that leader a second-in-command at that. Everyone from Kylinn to Leo was being sent out to Lucis territory to assist in efforts to expand Imperial control and to prove their worth to the emperor and his chancellor. Aloc was leaving them to live across the world and assist the Empire from the laboratories of Zegnautus Keep.

And there was Kara, slouching into her crutches, aching from head to toe and unable to walk more than a few feet at a time. It made her feel entirely useless beneath her shining joy and beaming pride. As they all left to carry the weight of the Empire's crown, she laid in bed and wiggled her toes to prove she could still feel, stagnant as the world turned around her. All she could do was pray that they didn't forget her in the wake of all their victories. She still had a home to avenge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it's another set-up chapter!
> 
> I promise things will pick up in the next chapter for PART 2 of the story :D


	21. Suffering Sands

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> something tells me Mairi's favorite song would be oops by yung gravy
> 
> that's all

**PART II**

Dust kicked into the air and swirled up into the sky, blocking all but the slightest light from the sun overhead. The wind fought back against every step that Kara took, pelting her with stones and dirt. In the distance, she could just barely make out the light of the lanterns that swung violently with each gust, the lanterns Wyn fastened to their base the first night they arrived. The force of the wind was beginning to make old injuries ache, from the throbbing in her ankle to the soreness in her back from keeping her arm raised to block her face.

Finally, she reached the long, sturdy tent, stepping past the first flaps and tying them down securely. One at a time, she untied her boots and emptied them of sand and pebbles before pulling them back on. She stopped by the dusty mirror to her left and attempted to brush away the dirt that made the pale shade of her hair dingy, but to no avail. It would be there until they left the wretched place the next day. With a final, gentle touch of her finger to the thin scar Kylinn left on her brow when she was sixteen, she opened the flaps to the expansive room ahead where everyone else was safely gathered.

"Surprise!" Mairi and Wyn cried. The former threw her arms into the air and squeezed Kara into a bone-crushing hug. Frowning, Kara peered over Mairi's shoulder to Leo, who sat on his knees with his hands gesturing to a tin pan filled with mud, sticks, and leaves.

"What's all this?" she asked.

Wyn laughed, resting an arm across her shoulders when Mairi pulled away to motion at the mud pie with her fiancé. "We made you a birthday cake!"

Ravus stepped out from behind a divider, tugging at the sleeves of his long, worn jacket and meeting Kara's eyes with a dry expression. "I did not encourage this."

"I didn't think so," she replied, wrestling a smile.

Mairi jumped back onto her feet and used a match to light a twig that poked straight out of the top of the dirt. Slowly, she carried it to where Kara stood and grinned over the tiny flame. "I hope twenty-three treats you better than all your other years."

"I doubt it," Kara retorted, but she gave in and blew the flame out anyway for the sake of her friends.

Mairi cheered and Wyn clapped three times as she danced away with the mud pie. Across the tent, Lisa whipped open the curtain that divided the main room and the cots.

"Will you all _please_ shut up? Some of us had night duties."

"Sorry, Lis. We'll keep it quiet," Wyn replied with a sympathetic smile.

With that, she promptly drew the curtain. Wyn snickered, grumbling something to Leo. Ravus caught Kara's eye and wandered toward her place by the entrance. He, just like the rest of them, was powdered head to toe in the pale, sandy dirt that had been blowing around their grounds for weeks, kicked up by a never-ending windstorm along the southern coast of Lucis. Kylinn was convinced it was some kingly magic from Regis; the rest weren't so sure Regis would be directly involved from his hidey-hole under Insomnia's shimmering shell.

"They had to entertain themselves somehow," Ravus murmured, watching Mairi scoop out a glob of mud and hurl it at Leo. "I apologize if it was overwhelming after your trudge across the map."

Kara's lips twitched into a smile and she shook her head, sparing him a glance. "I found it cute. I'm honored they deemed it worthy of their smelly canteen water."

"They used what they could find." Ravus's teasing was short-lived. Quickly, he returned to business. "How far did you get?"

"The mountains," she answered, shifting her weight between her feet to ease her exhausted bones.

Ravus noticed much quicker than she thought he might, though he struggled to get the offer out. "Would you like to take a seat?" _Caring for others now I see._ "You look ready to collapse. I fear it might turn their moods sour and make it difficult to get this packed by dawn." _Or not._

"That'd be nice, actually," Kara answered, grateful when he motioned for her to follow him to his "desk" that was set apart by a single wooden panel. He paused before the table, a silent invitation for her to sit on the stool behind it. She obliged. "Thanks. That's loads better."

"Of course," he replied stiffly. "You said you reached the mountains?"

"Yes." Kara eyed the crinkled, sandy map that was rolled out across the top of the flimsy fold-out table. If it couldn't be packed and carried on their person easily, it couldn't come with them to the field. She traced a rocky ridge with her fingers. "I was somewhere along here."

"And?"

"They're still out there."

Ravus sighed and his shoulders slumped ever so slightly. His eyes bored into the wooden panel that kept them separate from the others. "Dammit," he muttered irritably. His jaw worked at he thought. Kara filled the silence before he could forget the positives.

" _But_ we still have their land and the magiteks can hold it safely until they give up. Imperial occupation won't end just because we have to head home."

Ravus's brow furrowed and he stared hard at the map. "We don't have to…"

"Ravus, no _,"_ Kara groaned, rubbing her face with her hands. " _No._ We've been out here for _months_ with no progress. You've already canceled two returns. You absolutely _cannot_ cancel a third." When Ravus didn't respond, she leaned forward and pressed her elbows to the desk, twisting her head lower to catch his eye. "Got that? You _can't_."

"And why not?" he asked, finally looking at her. "If we hold on just a bit longer, we could make it to Insomnia's—"

Kara shook her head. "But we can't. They're out there with their king's city at their backs constantly pumping resources into their camps. We don't have that privilege."

"If we return, we risk losing the land."

"If we don't, we risk starvation, disease, lost morale, exhaustion… The list goes on and on and on." Kara took a deep breath, trying to keep his attention without calling him flat-out-wrong. Ravus made an incredible leader in their efforts to establish control, but sometimes he forgot his pawns were really people. "We have the magitek soldiers here, so we're not leaving this place entirely unoccupied. Aloc and Verstael have produced _much_ more powerful MTs since their first models. We should trust them for all the work they're putting in."

"And yet, if we do lose the land, it is I who will be blamed, not Aloc, Verstael, or their army of robots." Ravus crossed his arms as if to defend himself from any more of Kara's advice, deep in thought. She tried once more.

"You can obviously do whatever you want, but we ran out of everything well over a month ago," she reminded him. "And with this dust storm, I doubt there will be any land left to live off of." When he shot her an irritated glance, she stood and raised her hands. "That's what I leave you with. Do as you must, _Commander._ "

With that, she flashed him a grin as she bowed and turned sharply on the dusty ground to head back out toward the entrance where the others still spoke amongst themselves in hushed voices. She untied her boots with the ease of someone who'd done it well over a hundred times, tapped the bottoms once more to free any remaining stubborn grains of sand, and placed them next to one another by all the others of those who were fast asleep. Their drooping, scuffed surfaces reminded her to ask for a new pair once she got home _. If we ever get there._

"Headed to bed, Kara?" Mairi asked, crossing her arms. "It's so early!"

"Yes, well, I just trekked a _dozen_ miles through a sandstorm and back, so I hope you understand that my feet are tired and my back is _aching."_ Kara placed her hands on her hips and leaned back, laughing when several cracks came from her spine. "See? I'm exhausted."

"I think it's just the age," Leo teased. He stood and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close in a hug. "I'm just glad you're alive. Go get some rest."

Kara nodded against his shoulder, willing herself to keep her eyes open and not to doze off right then and there. "I'll try."

With that, she waved to Mairi and Wyn and stepped past the thick curtain the led to a dark room lined with uncomfortable, sandy cots. She raked her nails through her hair and gave it a good ruffle. _Can't wait to have a shower._ Slowly, she eased herself onto her cot, too tired to shake the sand off the blankets or her worn-out uniform. In fact, despite her worries about heading home and leaving Ravus to his own devices, she fell asleep the instant her head touched her sheets.

The snap of Kylinn's cot abruptly folding startled Kara out of her deep sleep in a split second. She jolted, but her muscles were still too tired to draw her upright or summon her weapon as they might've before. Lisa snorted, short her head of short blonde hair, and rubbed her dirt-caked hands over her face. Stuffed duffle bags lined the dirt floor and the sound of excited conversation drifted from the next room. Kara's spirits lifted immediately.

"We're actually going," she gushed in disbelief. Lisa nodded and continued folding up the thin sheets on the cots as Kylinn followed her to pack the cots. "I can't believe it."

"I'd pinch you, but you're already awake," Kylinn replied dryly. "I heard you _begging_ him last night. Perhaps he finally understands that we're not just pawns in his little game of revenge."

Biting her chapped lips, Kara decided silence was better than attempting to respond. Kylinn and Ravus had separated _years_ before, but the former was still bitter in all areas in which he was concerned, especially when it came to his and Kara's friendship. Kara guessed it came down to jealousy, but she couldn't help her circumstances. She knew him long before he withdrew from all warmth and that was all there was to it. Nothing to be angry over.

"What's the first thing you're going to do when you step foot in real _moisture_ again?" Lisa teased, shooting Kylinn a smile.

Ky snorted. "Have a _shower_ for god's sake. I've been sandy and itchy and crusty all over for _months._ There's not a thing a shower can't fix better than a cold, muddy stream."

"Me too," Lisa replied, laughing. "Although I can't wait to shove _real_ food down my throat."

Kara pulled her hair up into a tight ponytail, rubbed at the shaved side of her head to release any sand that had been pressed to her scalp overnight, and got her own bedding together. "We may as well just burn this shit," she pointed out, tossing a folded blanket on top of Lisa's pile. "No one will want to use these."

"I'd be all for it if Ravus wouldn't throw a hissy fit," Kylinn scoffed, rolling her eyes until they met Kara's. "And you _know_ he would. We'd miss our flight because of his hour-long lecture about conserving supplies."

Kara smiled, shaking her head. "If the Empire can throw _soirees_ every night for _Aldercapt,_ the wretched old raisin, then we can afford new sheets. It's not like they're luxurious amenities."

"Wretched old raisin," Lisa repeated under her breath with a snort.

Wyn startled them by throwing open the divider. "Good morning, ladies! Ride's almost here!" Lisa huffed and forced the stack of stinky old sheets into his arms. "Hey!"

"Take those to the front of the tent."

"I'm supposed to be bossing _you_ around," he reminded her sourly, but he obeyed.

"Beta," Ky muttered, shaking her head and kicked down the last cot. "I don't know if they want these to come back or not."

"New guys are coming at some point anyway, right?" Kara asked. "At least for a few days? Someone's gotta make sure the new MTs stay put."

"I pity the fool that signed up for that duty," Lisa murmured.

Nodding, Kara slipped past to put her shoes on. Her things were already away, stuffed in a rounded duffle and tossed against the side of the tent. While she was crouched lacing her boots, Mairi dropped to her level and cocked her head to the side to catch Kara's eye, quirking one dark brow.

"Good morning, sleepyhead. Packed your shit up so Ravus didn't pout at you."

Kara raised an eyebrow back. "Thank you?"

"Don't sound too grateful," her friend retorted. She was quickly distracted by Leo and sprung back up to her feet to chase him down.

By the time Kara stood, Ravus had stopped at her side, his face solemn and his hands clasped tightly behind his back. He'd grown an incredible amount over the years, filling out quite well alongside Wyn once they'd gotten a taste for true battle. All his studies paid off well, it seemed, as he'd led them to victory after victory. Wyn was always there as his support, playing devil's advocate and filling in the holes of his plans. Finally, they were all getting somewhere.

"Decided to set us free?" Kara teased, crossing her arms and watching Wyn stare up at the dusty sky. "It's about time."

Ravus was less than amused. "This isn't a joke, Kara. If Lucis decides to attack while we're gone, we _will_ suffer the consequences."

"It isn't your fault that we've been here too long and that they should've sent the MTs weeks ago," she reminded him. Trying to lighten to mood, she rested an elbow on his shoulder.

Ravus shrugged her off and stepped to the side. The look he shot her was _not_ a friendly one. "You seem to be forgetting that I'm your superior. You can't keep pretending we're still children, Kara. Respect and space are _highly_ advised."

Her heart sank and her cheeks went red when he abruptly walked outside to stand beside Wyn. Thankfully, it didn't seem like anyone else noticed her change in demeanor. With her lips pressed together and embarrassment stifling her ability to breathe, she lifted her duffle bag and shot the tent a bitter long of farewell. _You won't be missed._


	22. Homecoming

The feeling of hot water rolling down her back was _immaculate_ in the wake of Kara's return to Tenebrae. It was early evening by the time they reached home. Kara wanted to throw herself onto the lush moss that lined every path and press kisses to the greenery, but she was too tired, and she didn't want to hear another pride-wounding lecture about making Ravus look good. Even after she scrubbed at her skin for what felt like hours, dark dirt still clung to the edges of her fingernails and the smell of earth penetrated the scent of her shampoo.

She didn't have the time to care, though. Glauca sent Maria to let each soldier know that he was calling a small meeting consisting of their group and a few Imperial leaders to discuss their actions in Lucis. Sighing, Kara tugged on the clean uniform the maid left for her. _No rest for the wicked._ She ran a comb through her hair quickly and let it drip down her back. Glauca couldn't get too upset with her; they'd spent a thousand years with their hair pulled back on the front lines just _in case_ a commander other than Ravus or Wyn came by. As long as she was off duty, _she_ decided it was okay.

Never one to be late, Kara looked herself over once more and hurried out of her room. Her feet were still sore from the walk across Lucis territory alone, but her excitement for real food and a long rest after the briefing kept her going without much complaint. Two guards at a pair of towering white doors gave her slight bows and allowed her through the arches of gold trim. _I'll never get used to that._ She offered an awkward smile and hurried through the doorway to the banquet hall. The only people allowed in the hall that night were those who were specifically invited, including, but not limited to, the soldiers that had spent the last three months on the front lines.

Supreme Commander Glauca stood at the end of the long table of platters and shining pitchers that undoubtedly masked bottle upon bottle of Tenebraean wine. Around him stood the emperor's spindly envoy and a handful of commanders that hadn't been cut when Chancellor Izunia cleared out their training programs. Young guards, mostly young cadets in training, eyed the table greedily, dreaming of that day they would reach such an honored status as their mouths watered at the wafting scents of roasted meat and vegetables.

Wyn and Ravus were side by side as per usual, grumbling to each other as they made their way toward Glauca. Kara sent a thin-lipped smile toward Mairi when she waved a hand over her head, gesturing for her to come closer. Before Kara could take a step, though, a hand curled around her arm and a low voice beside her ear chilled her to the bone.

"Have you found your seat yet, Highwind? I made certain you were placed close to your leaders."

Kara's heart leaped into her throat. She glanced up to meet the chancellor's chilling gaze. His fingers were so cold that she could feel them through the thick sleeve of her uniform. Quickly, she forced a smile.

"Oh, I had no idea! Why me?"

Izunia chuckled as if she'd asked a question with an obvious answer. "It's all part of the plan." He gestured toward the head of the table. "Let's make our way over, shall we? This _is_ a party in your honor."

"My...?" Kara shuddered when he placed a hand on her back and ushered her forward. _He means all of you, idiot._ She caught Mairi's concerned look across the room and gave the slightest shrug she could manage. Ardyn either didn't notice or didn't care, stopping her to pull out a seat. "Thank you."

"Of course."

With that, she sat and he headed toward Glauca, perhaps to suggest that they get their show on their road. Shifting in her seat, Kara glanced at the name cards around her anxiously. Wyn was seated to her right beside the chancellor, who himself sat right of Glauca. To her left was Commander Xander, who'd already shuffled toward his seat with a complaint at the ready. Kara hardly heard him, though, watching as the soldiers quickly got to their seats when Glauca sat in his. Ravus was seated opposite Wyn, though he caught her eyes first, raising a brow. Even he recognized that her placement was strange with the rest of their troop seated much closer to the other end. Finally, a cluster of guards was allowed to be seated at Glauca's command—something about filling the empty seats, the more the merrier, etcetera.

"So," the envoy started, nervously toying with a napkin when every important pair of eyes suddenly turned to him. "Shall we discuss the success of your mission?"

"Now?"

Kara had to duck her head to hide her smile. The sound of Ravus's cold voice made the lanky man _squirm._ Before anyone else could revel in his discomfort, Glauca spoke up.

"They've had a long few months. Let them eat first, and then we'll talk."

The man nodded quickly. "Of course."

At the signal to eat, the hungry soldiers could hardly keep themselves away from the food. Hands reached toward the center, arms crossing as plates were passed and glasses were filled. Kara sat back and let Wyn do the work, not wanting to receive more nasty glares from commanders than she already was. Her plate filled quickly, but her long stay in the sand frontlines had taught her mind to allow only what she needed and her body learned that a small stomach helped her feel full. She picked at her meal until she felt ready to explode from her pitifully small feast.

Wyn raised an eyebrow at her plate and glanced up at her. "You feeling alright?"

"Yeah," she nodded quickly, not wanting to draw attention. "I'm fine. Just tired." When he didn't look convinced, she continued. "Besides, I know eating a lot will make me sick. We have to get used to real food again."

Wyn shrugged, reaching for a pitcher as he took a bite out of a roll in his other hand. Quickly, he refilled their glasses. "Getting so full that you're sick after is the fun part though. A good 'welcome home' gesture for your body."

Rolling her eyes, Kara concealed her smile by pressing her glass to her lips and took a long drink of the wine. She caught Ravus's eye and raised an eyebrow. He raised one back. He, too, hadn't eaten much off his plate, though it seemed it was for another reason. His eyes had been darting around the room, taking in his surroundings, his exits, his companions. Something had him on edge.

"What's he look so uptight for?" she asked Wyn, nudging his arm.

"Dunno." He answered with a mouthful of bread. "He's always uptight."

"Yeah, but he's _nervous_."

Wyn shrugged again, washing his roll down with a gulp of wine and repeating, "Dunno."

Kara gave up and sat back in her seat, waiting for the eating to slow with a sip from her cup every now and then. Perhaps Ravus had just grown accustomed to the awareness required in enemy territory. Perhaps it was the room. They were seated in the same hall they'd once gathered in after the assassination of their previous commander. The night Glauca returned to Tenebrae. _Yeah, that's gotta be it._

Finally, Glauca spoke up. "Which one of you wants to give me a report on your ventures?"

Wyn shot a look to Ravus, who only stared back. Smiling faintly, Wyn turned back to Glauca. "I will, sir." He sat straighter and set his napkin down beside his plate. "We—"

"Stand, Iterum. They can't hear you at the end."

"Yes sir." Quickly, he stood. Where Kara would have blushed and stuttered, he brushed his misstep off and continued with a smile. Kara and Ravus exchanged glances. _Ridiculous._ "We were able to push farther into Lucis than originally planned. Using Verstael's new magitek soldiers, we retook the disputed area of battle and pushed four miles of occupation. _Which_ ," he said sharply, raising a finger, "doesn't sound too impressive unless you recall that we've been losing entire territories at a time to the witches' magic for months."

Something about hearing Wyn use Imperial terms to describe Lucian soldiers made Kara shiver. _Witches... Perhaps we're blending in too well._

"Thank you," Glauca grumbled, clearly confused by how Wyn delivered the report. Still, the second-in-command of the elites was proud of himself, sitting and taking another roll from the center of the table. "Any significant casualties?"

"Other than Langton, no," Ravus answered dutifully. "But that was reported at the beginning I believe."

"I'm sorry," Xander interrupted. "There was _one_ casualty? I hardly find that believable."

It was the chancellor that spoke next, raising a mocking eyebrow. "He said significant, _Commander._ If I recall correctly, these soldiers were trained to supplement the magiteks and complete duties that they are currently unable to do themselves. It makes perfect sense that there would be no casualties." Ardyn cocked his head to the side. "Is that really so unbelievable that you felt the need to interrupt a very _important_ briefing?"

"No, sir," Xander grumbled, slumping in his seat. "Continue." He shot Kara a soured expression. "Miserable Imperial lapdog."

She pressed her lips into a thin sympathetic smile and turned back to Glauca. _I wonder what all these formalities are for._ Before, they'd briefed their commanders and slept through their single day of rest without worry of seeing higher-ups until they visited to see their empire's progress. Nothing like this odd dinner had ever been held before, at least to her knowledge, and it certainly never happened the _day_ of their return. _What's so urgent that they couldn't wait?_

"So, a single casualty that occurred within the first seventy-two hours," Ardyn said, sitting taller. His smirk twisted into something sinister blended with pride and he gently traced one finger along the edge of his wine glass. His _untouched_ wine glass, Kara noted. "You remained on the field an extra sixty-three days to ensure the security of our hold on the territory. Last, but most definitely not least, you ventured into Lucis territory continually in secret to write back news of Lucian tactics." The chancellor bowed his head as a menacing chuckle bubbled from his throat. The sound sent chills down Kara's spine. "Commander Nox Fleuret, you certainly have outdone yourself."

"I only did what was required to further our cause," Ravus replied expertly.

Kara couldn't help but notice that he was tapping the bottom edge of _his_ untouched glass, expelling nervous energy. Something about Ardyn Izunia was incredibly off-putting to them all, but not one of them could put a finger on an exact reason. Even Wyn was putting up a cautious front, sitting straighter in his seat and sobering up from his food coma. Frowning, she leaned forward to see the chancellor better. _What's_ ** _wrong_** _with him?_

"Nonsense!" Ardyn's smug smile returned as he threw his arms out to the sides, nearly chopping Wyn in the neck and poking Glauca's eye. He didn't seem to care; the man never _dared_ to seem like he cared. "This was above and beyond. For that, _Ravus,_ I commend you." Ravus's name was hissed like it had just flowed from a snake's flicking tongue. _Poison,_ was all Kara could think. _The man is_ ** _venom_** _in the Empire's veins._ "If you'll take no reward now, just know that this will remain in the forefront of our minds until you receive one later."

Ravus looked uncomfortable, but he masked it behind a cold frown. "Let us first see if all our efforts paid off, or if our leaving was in vain. I'm wary of celebrating victories before they're won."

"As you should be," Glauca replied with a nod. Before Ravus could suffer under dozens of stares for much longer, the Supreme Commander turned to Kara. Her heart leaped into her throat. _What could he possibly want with me?_ "Let us not forget the contributions of those who served their leaders well. Highwind."

"Sir." Kara sat up abruptly and her hand smacked against the underside of the table with a pitiful thump when she tried to put it from her lap to her forehead. With a flinch, she decided sitting straight was enough.

Glauca paused for a moment at her fumble, but not a moment later he carried on as if he hadn't noticed. "You served a lot of your time alone as a scout of sorts, spying on Lucian troops and gathering information on their next moves. For that, I commend your bravery."

Everyone sitting in the room had grown accustomed to Glauca's flat, foreign accent over his years as the commander of the Tenebrae army, but the words that fell past his lips now seemed flatter than before as if he didn't care one way or another that she'd gone out of her way to walk miles back and forth on her own in enemy territory for the sake of her homeland. She wasn't sure how to reply so she chewed on the inside of her cheek and lowered her head as if the weight of the recognition was too heavy for her humility.

"I understand that you returned yesterday from a venture. Was there anything you learned?"

Kara's heart skipped a beat when everyone turned to stare at her. "Well... They're bolstering their forces significantly by training soldiers in King Regis's power. It's odd, though... They appear to be learning more as time passes by. These new soldiers can warp now, just like the line of Lucis."

"The Kingsglaive," Glauca grumbled. The hatred in his voice left her stammering for a moment.

"Y-yes, sir. They're using the Glaive in place of a regular army because of this new training. Or at least I think so," she added quickly, sensing the stares growing hostile upon the delivery of her assumptions. "I can't know for sure."

"That makes sense," the commander assured her. He glanced to Ravus. "And you deemed it safe to leave in the midst of this battle for control when the enemy has developed an elite army with powers far greater?"

Ravus's brows tightened together and Wyn winced. To have a superior directly question his moves in front of the army's heads was a direct blow to his pride, which Ravus protected at all costs. It was all he had left, vengeance aside.

"Yes, because I believe their magic is nothing in comparison to the technology developed by Verstael and his proteges." Ravus's answer was confident and his tone was on the verge of defensive.

Glauca didn't let up, clearly displeased. Kara began to feel uneasy with the tension. "You have yet to see these new technologies in person, and you put the entirety of your progress on the line in blind confidence?"

Chancellor Izunia arched an eyebrow, but he didn't speak, clearly waiting to see where this was going. On the other side of Wyn, Kara's knees were endlessly bouncing, her skin was turning clammy, and her cheeks were going red. _It's my fault we came home..._

"I've seen what they've produced before," Ravus argued, standing firm in his decision. "There were other factors besides my _blind confidence." Watch your tone, Ravus._ "The land was running dry of supplies long after we'd run out of the ones we'd brought. The troop was exhausted, and any other further pushes would most definitely have failed."

"If your soldiers can't stand the tests of the front, they should be replaced."

Kara took a sharp breath to claim the blame, sick of watching their superior tear into him with the end goal of humiliation. In an instant, Wyn's nails dug into her thigh and the hard toe of Ravus's boot sharply struck her shin. Struggling to hide her wince, she bit down on her lip hard enough to draw blood and endured the throbbing in her leg. _Gods, guys, okay! Sorry!_

"On the contrary, if a commander can't listen to the voices of those he commands and consider them as more than pawns, he makes a poor leader."

Glauca raised an eyebrow and turned to Wyn. "And as he second, do you stand by his decision, or would you have chosen differently?"

Kara swallowed her fear quickly, forcing her eyes to stay on her plate. Wyn could very easily sense the displeasure in Glauca's voice and openly disagree, to play the teacher's pet and get closer to taking Ravus's position as commander. All it took was one hesitant glance, one cringe, one critique and he could triple his chances of a promotion. All he had to do was play the part and he could have his dream job at the expense of a friend's suffering.

But Wyn didn't hesitate for a moment. "One hundred percent. It was the best choice he could have made."

Glauca looked to the table. "And as a troop, do you all agree that leaving at this time was the best choice?"

Kara nodded confidently, looking down the end of the table to see how the others responded. _One hesitation and..._ And yet, not one soldier showed that they were giving their answer a second thought. Ten confidently nodding heads answered Glauca's call for doubt. Kara and Wyn exchanged suppressed smiles. It wasn't a preplanned routine; Ravus led them better than anyone else could.

The supreme commander turned back to Ravus and gave him a single, curt nod. "Then I stand by you, too, no matter the consequences. You've clearly learned that respecting your soldiers gains you respect in return." With that, he turned to Wyn and Kara. "You've proven yourself a very capable leader, Ravus, and you're being considered for a higher position. With that in mind, Iterum, do you think you're learning enough to cover for him when that happens?"

Kara bit her tongue, concealing her excitement. _When._

Wyn laughed, nodding. "I have a bit more to learn, and I don't think I'll ever _be_ Ravus, but I certainly think I'm capable."

"You know your weaknesses," Glauca replied with a nod. Beside Kara, Xander yawned, bored and unafraid to show it. "That's a good trait. Highwind."

"Sir." Kara sat sharply again. This time, she could hear someone snickering at her reaction. _Probably Ky and Lis._ Even Chancellor Izunia cracked a smile.

"Leadership runs through your veins," Glauca said, his tired eyes refusing to leave hers. It seemed as if he'd aged ten years in the past three. _Must be stressful working under the emperor._ "And you've proven yourself well as an independent fighter and as a member of a team. Do you think you would be able to take a separate direction from your brother?"

Kara frowned, confused. "I'm sorry, I don't understand."

"We've always had a lack of leaders in the skies," he continued. "And typically those roles are given to those comfortable in the air—dragoons." Kara's heart began to race and she fought the urge to look at Ravus for help. _I don't know..._ "We have your cousin, Aranea, as an independent mercenary hire, of course, but having an Imperial-trained soldier leading sky fleets on separate battles from ground troops might be just what we need."

"I—" Kara couldn't speak another word.

Glauca shook his head, a faint smile tracing his lips. "Don't worry about answering now. It's just an idea."

"O-of course sir."

Kara sat back in her seat as the chancellor gave a long, flowery speech about teamwork and successes for the Empire. _Leader in the skies..._ She dared to look up at Ravus. He only glanced at her briefly, but the message was clear. _Stay focused._

"Until then, get your rest and gather your strength." Chancellor Izunia stood and gave a final menacing smile. "We'll see about that battlefield in the morning."


	23. Mirage

"He said he'd stand by you no matter what," Leo said, but even _his_ words sounded uncertain.

Wyn paused his pacing and buried his hands deep into his hair to tug at his roots. "Yeah, he did…"

Ravus remained eerily silent, arms crossed tightly and eyes locked on the window that pointed at the misty woods on the horizon. Anxious, Kara bounced her knee at a rapid speed until Mairi pressed a hand down on it, on edge. Waking to the news that the dreaded Kingsglaive had pushed into the territory they worked for and destroyed almost half the magitek soldiers was stressful, to say the least. The entire troop, aside from two young men that were woken for their assigned guard duty, had immediately gathered in a classroom.

"Do you think he knew this would happen?" Lisa asked, brows creased with her deepening frown.

Kylinn snorted, shooting Ravus a bitter look. "Maybe next time you stick to your guns instead of pursuing some dumb bitch's _ass._ "

Kara only realized Ky was referring to her when Mairi twisted to shoot her a scowl. Immediately, her face went beet red and she hung her head lower. Kylinn had spent the last forty minutes finding more and more creative ways to blame Kara without saying her name.

Defeated, Kara turned to meet the woman's cold stare. "I know I'm partly to blame, Ky. There's no need for you to point it out _constantly._ They get it."

"Do they?" Kylinn demanded, crossing her arms defensively. "Because I think this has _nothing_ to do with shitty reasoning and _everything_ to do with a pretty face."

"It's not like that," Ravus muttered, but it was so quiet that no one heard him.

Instead, an irritable young soldier that had recently transferred from Niflheim, Loqi, spoke up, rolling his eyes. "Not everything is about your failed relationship, Ky. Kara didn't end it with her _pretty face._ "

"No, it ended because he couldn't get it up!" she snapped, falling into a seat dramatically. Lis petted her friend's hair absently and Kara tried to erase that sentence from her head. She _really_ didn't need to know about anyone's erectile dysfunction, and she _really_ just wanted everyone to calm down.

Mairi had other plans, though. "Yeah, no wonder. You're an unbearable bitch with a fishy—"

"Mairi," Kara cut in, exhausted.

" _What?_ "

"Yeah, that's right," Ky scoffed. "Listen to the pretty girl. Cuz, y'know, that worked out so well last time."

Wyn finally reached his breaking point, his hands snapping down to his sides and his friendly blue eyes turning icy cold. "Everyone stop! This isn't helping."

"No, it isn't." Ravus straightened and headed toward the door. "I'm not sure why we met to begin with. This is my problem." As he reached for the knob, Kara leaped to her feet.

"Ravus, this has to do with me and Wyn, too. At least let us come up with something."

"With what, an excuse?" He shook his head. "There's nothing you can say to fix this. I made the final decision."

With that, he stepped through the doorway and left the rest of his troop sitting in the classroom to dread his return—if there was one. But Kara wasn't going to sit and wait for him to turn himself in when she had such a large part in his decision. Ignoring Mairi's protests, she stood and hurried out the door behind him, slipping through just before it latched and sealed the soldiers inside their new cage.

"Ravus, just _wait._ "

Ravus ignored her plea, perhaps even quickening his stride a touch. She couldn't tell. Rolling her eyes, Kara ran a few steps to catch up and grabbed hold of his arm.

"I said _wait._ "

"Why?" he demanded, turning to scowl at her. "What good is _waiting_ going to do us?"

"Just let me take some of the blame," she begged. Her heart ached with guilt and sympathy. " _Please._ "

Ravus shook his head and tugged his arm free. "You could take all the credit in the world, but the consequences will fall on me alone."

He started to leave, and Kara panicked. There had to be _something_ she could do to help.

"Wait—"

"All we _do_ is wait!" he snapped, glaring down at her. The sudden shift in mood startled her and she stumbled a few steps backward. "It's why you've gone _nowhere_ in this army and it's why we're _here!_ All these _goddamn_ delays, and still you tell me to _wait!"_ Ravus was angrier than she'd ever seen him before and she had no idea what to do to help. "I'm done listening to you."

Having made his point, Ravus turned and continued on his way down the hall. Kara didn't stop him this time, heart pounding and eyes stinging. _I just wanted to help._ She knew that it wouldn't do for her fellow soldiers to see her this way, nor would it be good for her leaders to see her in tears over something that couldn't be helped, so she sharply tugged her hair out of its ponytail and hurried in the opposite direction.

Kara walked quickly enough that it became hard to catch her breath. Suddenly, the manor felt suffocating and small despite its massive castle-like size. _I have to get out._ She took a sharp turn that she knew would lead outside, though not on the ground. A rather large terrace faced away from the city and into the valley that stretched endlessly into the horizon.

She threw the doors to the terrace open, ignoring the older guards that stood outside them, and finally slowed her stride. The landscaping felt entirely artificial as trim bushes and trees that weren't native to her homeland lined the stone walkway, but the fresh air was enough to make up for the lack of authenticity. A thick, ornate railing carved from pale stone lined the edge.

As Kara pressed her hands against the rail and peered down at the forest that cushioned the earth hundreds of feet below, she pondered what it would feel like to hurl herself over the edge. She didn't want to die—of course that wasn't the part she was considering—but to feel just for a moment what it would be like to fly, soaring through the air with all the freedom of an eagle. The idea of tasting freedom from the ridiculous rules humanity placed in order to belittle each other for just a moment made her mouth water. The consequence of that freedom was all that held her back from slipping over the railing when the guards turned their backs.

Her father used to take her to this terrace when she was young. He always invited Wyn, but her brother never came. Those were the days when he was just getting used to having a new father around. _That really was a long time ago…_

Taking a deep breath of the cool air, Kara slouched forward against the railing and closed her eyes. She wondered how many times Wyn was ridiculed for his father just as she was for hers. It was two entirely separate situations, she supposed. Ventus Iterum was as sly as they came, and no one was surprised the day they dragged the bastard through town by his tied wrists until he reached the place where he was swiftly and publicly executed for treason.

By then Kara was… Gods, how long had it been? Her mother, assuming her husband had been dead all the years he was missing, had long been wed to Kain. Wyn had been seven at the time of Ventus's death, which meant she was four. _Only four?_ It was surreal in her memories, but it was certainly still there. The angry crowds, the blood on his face, the bruises staining his skin. Her mother refusing to leave the house. Wyn _screaming_ that his father was innocent well beyond Ventus's last breath. Kain attempting to calm him and failing miserably.

"I suppose it wasn't all sunshine," she murmured to herself, peeling open her eyes to trade the bloody images for the treetops frosted with mist.

"Now that's something I never thought I'd witness." At the sound of a voice, Kara's heart leaped into her throat, but its familiarity left warmth in her chest that erased the ache of her troubles for just a moment. "Kara Highwind hiding from all human contact and talking to herself whilst looking dramatically over the skyline?" Aloc flashed a sly smile, hands clasped behind his back and steps slow. "You always were the outdoorsy type, but a taste for the dramatic? _That's_ a new development."

Kara could hardly contain herself when an overwhelming cocktail of emotions washed back down from the crest of its wave and swept her down beneath its waters. "Aloc…" Tears rapidly pooled in her eyes when she reached out, closing the gap and crushing herself against her old friend.

Aloc laughed quietly, resting his cheek on top of her head. She wasn't used to him being taller than her, and she didn't like it. It was another reminder that the world was moving on without her.

"I wasn't expecting _that_ reaction," he teased, suspecting that Kara's tears were ones of joy. But, when she took a breath to speak and it stuttered under a forceful choke, his smile faltered. "Hey, what's wrong?"

Kara shook her head and buried her face deeper. "It's all wrong, Aloc. I'm the one who ruined everything."

"Whoa, calm down." She could feel him shaking his head beside hers. "Surely it can't be _all_ your fault. I seriously doubt your ability to wreck _everything_ solo."

"No, I—" She choked again and a helpless cry escaped her throat. It was one of those sounds that was closest to a stifled wail, one that was very difficult to stop and that only came when she was genuinely incredibly upset. Talking was only making things worse, and for once in his life, Aloc decided silence was better.

They stood for a long time without speaking. When Kara finally pulled away, she scrubbed at her wet cheeks and motioned for Aloc to join her at the railing. He leaned forward, hunched, and pressed his elbows against the stone.

"I missed this more than I thought I would," he admitted, touching his glasses.

Kara took a deep breath, trying to imagine what it would be like to live in a stuffy maze like Zegnautus Keep. What did Aloc even do all day? Read books and weld metals together in hopes that they made something useful? It sounded _extremely_ unpleasant to her, but he didn't seem miserable.

"How's the assignment?" she asked, determined to forget her blubbering from earlier. She expected his eyes to light up like they used to, but he only offered a half-hearted smile.

"It's alright. Gets kind of repetitive after a while."

"Really?" Kara raised her eyebrows, surprised. "But you guys are always coming out with improvements and new models and stuff. You're not just in magitek soldiers are you?"

"No, I dabble in a bit of it all. Might lose my sanity if I had to stay with soldiers all day."

Kara frowned. "Really? That sounds like heaven for dorks."

"Gee, thanks," he scoffed, shoving her arm. "It was, at first. But after learning how it's all done, I dread getting up to do it all over again."

"Repetition getting to you?" she asked. "I understand."

Aloc shook his head adamantly. "No. It's something worse."

"What?"

Her friend was acting entirely unlike himself, eyes darting around them nervously and fingers restlessly picking at the stone. "It's just…" He took a moment to gather his words, brows furrowed. "There's more to it than bits and bobs welded together into a sort of death machine. There's a morality to it as well, and I don't think it aligns with what I want."

"Morality?" Kara was growing increasingly concerned with his serious tone. "Aloc, why are you being so _vague?_ "

Aloc glanced back anxiously before speaking again. "Kara, there are eyes and ears all over in the Empire. You _know_ that." When Kara only responded with a nervous laugh, he lowered his voice and leaned closer. "The things they do in that place… I've never heard of anything so heinous. If I wasn't already going to burn for eternity for spending too much time admiring female chests, I'm surely going to Ifrit's asshole for fucking about with human _souls._ "

" _What?"_ Kara hissed back in a whisper, entirely confused. "What do you mean human souls? How do you even…?"

"That's all I'm comfortable saying." Alco straightened and looked back once more. This time, he froze, eyes locked on the guards that stared back at him from the windows. "But I do want you to remember that no matter how far you inevitably climb in the ranks of this shitshow. You fight for a world that treats mankind and daemons with the same reverence."

Kara tilted her head. "Inevitably?"

Aloc's mood shifted once more. He rolled his eyes and heaved a sigh. "Kara, you're a _wonderful_ friend, but your ignorance has nearly driven me over the edge more than once."

"Aloc, what—" Her heart began to ache from pounding so hard in reaction to the unexpected attack from her friend. "What do you—"

"You completely disregard your privilege and _consistently_ act as though you have no idea it exists." Aloc crossed his arms and leaned back against the rail, refusing to look at her. " _Most_ of us have to sacrifice it all to make it anywhere—and don't think I'm saying you didn't work your ass off, because you did. But…" He huffed and kicked at a loose stone. "You could've gotten your entire troop killed on those front lines and taken a fat shit on Glauca's head, and Ardyn _still_ would offer you higher positions simply because your name carries weight."

"That's not true." Kara's protest was half-hearted. She was too busy looking back and wondering where she'd offended Aloc to sound convincing. "Aloc, I trained just like everyone else."

"Of course you did. I'm not saying you're not meant to be here, but the guaranteed success despite _most_ failures kind of scuffs the shine on your rewards." Shaking his head, Aloc forced himself to lift his head and look her in the eye. "They've planned our every move since we enlisted. Nothing is a mistake. Believe me when I say Ardyn holds all the true power; the emperor is just a decoration."

"Wha—"

"Silvum, you're due to board the ship in ten," a guard reported, leaning forward as his hands braced against the curled, golden handles on the glass doors. "Boss won't be happy if you're late because of your friend."

"I'll be there shortly," Aloc replied with a nod.

The man shrugged and closed the doors. Aloc took a deep breath and turned to Kara. After a moment, he stretched out his arms and took hold of her hands. The gesture might have been comforting if his palms weren't clammy, if his knuckles weren't white, if his fingers weren't trembling. Kara looked up sharply, alarmed, but his eyes were glassy and locked firmly on their hands.

"Remember what I've said, Kara. Don't forget me." With that, he forced a thin smile, pulled away, and hurried toward the glass doors with his hands jammed in his jacket pockets and his curly hair bouncing with every step.

"Aloc!" Kara cried.

It was too late; he was long gone and she was afraid. _Don't forget me._ What did Aloc think was going to happen in Lucis? Was he afraid because it was his first time in the front? Kara had never thought to give everyone her goodbyes before leaving. _But he didn't have time to speak to everyone, did he?_ Had he even meant to find Kara, or had he stumbled upon her by accident?

Kara turned back to the skyline, heart pounding and hands shaking. _Nothing is a mistake. Ardyn has all the true power._ Over human souls? That made no sense to her in the slightest. He was only human just like the rest of them. Perhaps he just knew how to twist the emperor's arm better than the rest.

No matter how hard she tried to convince herself that everything was normal and nothing fishy was going on behind the scenes, Aloc's voice rang loudly around her head and the terror in his eyes reflected behind her eyelids every time she blinked. If what he said was true, there was nowhere she and the others could hide to get away from the mysterious power the Imperials had wrestled into their control. Something entirely unnatural.

 _Guaranteed success…_ Kara huffed and pressed her elbows to the stone. Her fingers raked through her hair slowly, ripping through knots. _I guess we'll see soon enough._


End file.
